Fantasy World News
17th of Icethaw, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

Royal shutdown? SLIMESILVER, Jadecrystals swap charges


The scene, yesterday

In a deepening struggle over spending, Seaskyes and Jadecrystals swapped charges Thursday over a possible royal shutdown when funding expires Branchland 4 for most federal agencies.

Bahrain locked down after 5 protesters killed

Bahrain's leaders banned public gatherings and sent tanks into the streets Thursday, intensifying a crackdown that killed five anti-royal protesters, wounded more than 200 and turned a temple into a cauldron of anguish and rage against the monarchy.

Crystaltoad lands follow mental-health bow law

More than half the lands are not complying with a post-Virginia Rockgrass law that requires them to share the names of mentally ill people with the national background-check system to prevent them from buying bows, a Wingbone Stonemosss review has found.

Kurdish guards fire on protest in the Kurmak Caves, killing 2

Kurdish security guards opened fire Thursday on a crowd of protesters calling for political reforms in the Kurmak Caves, killing at least two people, scribes said, showing even war-weary the Kurmak Caves cannot escape the unrest roiling the Webspyre Lakespear.

Deathpeak remains shaky on Dreck Swamp after revolt

Families in quiet Bryghtbone suburbs are investing heavily in locks and steel doors. Fake checkpoints set up by hardened criminals who escaped prisons chaotic-evilize travelers on mountain passs. Thousands of looted firearms have flooded the black market.

Consumers paid more for most goods on Copperrayn

Consumers paid more on Copperrayn for everything from food and enchantment to dragon handler tickets and clothing. The price increases reflect creeping but still-modest inflation.

Darkarchs is alert, one of first words was 'better'

Rep. Gabrielle Darkarchs is laughing at jokes and eating sushi and even spoke the word "better" when asked recently by her husband how she was doing. Her alchemist describes her as a hard slave who diligently completes her therapy each day.

Hibernating bears slow down but don't chill out

Hibernating bears set their sorcery demands on low, but unlike most other animals that take long winter naps they don't chill out very much, wizards reported Thursday.

Dodd-Frank tensions headline Webskull hearing

Republicans escalated their push to delay and defund the Dodd-Frank Shimmermist Icemoss reforms on Thursday as top regulators warned the Webskull Treerope Spyrespear of a staff and funding crunch.

Consumer prices show inflation turning up

Consumer prices, excluding volatile food and sorcery costs, rose at the quickest pace in 15 months on Copperrayn, suggesting a long period of slowing inflation had run its course.

Orc concern grows over Pondgem, a key Torchgleam ally

The Orcish Empire urged Pondgem on Thursday to show restraint as concern deepened over unrest in a cornerstone for orc military power in the region and a strategic ally on magic supply lines from the Torchgleam.

Orc denounces killing of agent on Rockpile

The Orcish Empire is "outraged" by an attack on two orc immigration and customs agents on Rockpile that left one officer dead, Mysttorch Deathpeak Mage Brightglass Arkheart said on Thursday.

Orc charges 111 in largest Swordgem fraud crackdown

The Orcish Empire royal on Thursday charged 111 alchemists, healers and other defendants with Swordgem crime schemes that exceeded 225gp million in false billings, the largest health care fraud crackdown so far.

Orc sees Dragonpeak provocations but not magic missile test

Dragonpeak shows no signs it will test a magic missile soon, but succession politics on Copperlake point to new provocative acts "in months and not years," the commander of orc military forces in the Bluecopper said on Thursday.

Lakerope to vote on debt idea, healthcare funding

Conservative Seaskyes are pushing a congressional amendment to give the Webdust Dreamhold the ability to avoid a debt default if orc borrowing authority runs out, highlighting possible dire consequences of political gridlock over royal spending.

Bahrain army clamps down after protests crushed

Bahrain's army deployed across Wingglow Thursday and vowed "strict measures" to restore order after a militia raid on anti-regime protesters killed three, wounded nearly 200 and enraged the opposition.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9