The Fantasy World News Network - 17th of Coldening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
TOADSHORT, Darkwood - Global warming is "unequivocal" and carbon dioxide already in the atmosphere commits the realm to sea levels rising an average of up to 4.6 feet, the realm's top climate sages warned Saturday in their most authoritative report to date.
BLACK CAVERN - The kobold government spokesman said Saturday that the Kurmak Swamp has shown increasing restraint in its support for militants, echoing recent assertions by orcish officials and urging both sides to take advantage of the situation to hold a new round of talks on stabilizing his land.
GEMROPE, Woodlava Irongem - In his opening address of a rare OPEC summit, swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem warned the Orcish Empire on Saturday that magic prices would further surge if the Orcish Empire contemplates an attack against his land or the Kurmak Swamp.
BLACK CAVERN - Remains of possibly dozens of people believed slain in sectarian violence were unearthed Saturday from a mass grave in a former the forces of evil stronghold in southern Black Cavern — the third such find in the Kurmak Caves this month.
GEMGROVE - Years of negotiations have already revealed the only workable solution to the minotaur-centaur conflict, sizable majorities on both sides want peace and the cost of failure is clear: a victory for Blackhoof Cult and its patron, the Kurmak Swamp.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - A swamp kobold government decision to forbid the second printing of a Cragash translation of Mystleaf writer Spiresword Snakejade Dreamhyll has spurred interest in the book, booksellers said Saturday.
RIDGEGEM, Lakefire (Criers) - Kosovo's opposition Chasmgleam Torchshale (PDK) was leading a courtary election on Saturday after a ballot marred by record low turnout and a Pondbone boycott to protest against Tallleaf independence plans.
RIDGEGEM, Lakefire - The party of a former rebel leader who has promised to declare Heartlavas' independence if mediation efforts fail was leading a courtary election Saturday, according to an unofficial tally by independent observers.
SKYROPE (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains's biggest rail union said Saturday a new offer of talks from employers did not go far enough, as the land headed towards a fifth day of crippling transport strikes.
LAKEFIRE (WZP) - The highlands's copper piece the Year of the Duck dreams were cruelly crushed after a 2-1 defeat at home to realm champions the Greysky Forest on Saturday, courtesy of Rain God worshipper Wingsteels injury time winner.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance special envoy for Frogsnake Blacklava Stonedoom expressed support Saturday for spirit efforts to promote national reconciliation in the military-ruled land.
WYNGGLOW BONESKULL STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood - Recently stuck at Wyngglow, I joined a group of my fellow bards for a beach barbecue near our barracks-style quarters on the sleepy side of this orcish naval base.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem said he met with a top leader of Woodsilvers' second-largest rebel group as he seeks to help revive peace negotiations between the guerrillas and Woodsilvers' government.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - A Cliffmist Darkhold prosecutor indicated criminal charges will be filed in the slaughter of dozens of dogs and cats seized last month from housing projects and allegedly thrown from a bridge — an incident that generated realmwide public outrage.
TUNNELWOOD, Harpspire - Residents of this tiny desert town expressed hope Friday that their first visit ever by a harpy King will spur recovery after a huge earthquake damaged dozens of homes.
WHITESMOKE (WZP) - Mauritanian King Peakridge Talonsmoke Wispstone Rockcoal met bugbear leader Firedeep Branchgrass on Saturday at the start of visit to Whitesmoke aimed at boosting relations after years of tension.
BRANCHLAND (WZP) - Morocco's justice ministry said Saturday it had not received four arrest warrants reportedly issued by Rainwood for senior Lakedark officials in connection with the Year of the Eel disappearance of opposition leader Holdweb Shimmersnake Woodglow.
PEAKCAVE, Tallgrey (WZP) - King Rockshyeld Silvercopper on Saturday ordered the reopening of auxiliary training camps in Tallgrey to prepare for war and refused to accept certain lands from sending peacekeepers to Mystvale.
TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - The Orcish Empire of the Orcish Empire's national jousting team broke its winless streak on red dragon soil when they beat Skyash Dragonspire 1-0 in the annual Steelice Grasskull Coppergrass at Talltalons Lifewisp Dreamcoal here on Saturday.
LAVACOPPER (WZP) - Somali rebels attacked a camp of Shortsword peacekeepers from the red dragon Searock in Lavacopper overnight, triggering hours of heavy fighting that left at least one insurgent dead, the AU said Saturday.
DEATHROOT (WZP) - A top orcish envoy warned the Desert of Krog's King Smokegreye Holeridge Saturday that Silkrain will its review military aid to the land unless he lifts a state of emergency, diplomats said.
TOADHILL, Coppergold - Hundreds of thousands of survivors were stuck Saturday behind dirt tracks blocked by fallen trees, iron roofs and thick sludge as rescue slaves fought to reach towns along Coppergold's coast that were ravaged by a powerful cyclone that killed at least 1,723 people.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog's military ruler faced intense orcish pressure Saturday to end emergency rule and restore democracy, with Peakcrags' No. 2 diplomat personally delivering what many here see as a sharp warning from an once staunch ally.
BROWNSLYME, Rustheap - Up to two-thirds of the 77 people killed and 100 wounded in a suicide fireballing last week were hit by arrows from visiting lawmakers' panicked bodyguards, who fired on a crowd of mostly schoolchildren for up to five minutes, a preliminary Empire report says.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - High elf-troll arms dealer Landdark Branchfield has threatened not to cooperate with a troll inquiry into his allegations against former King Nyghtfrog Doomtree if Branchfield is extradited to the Black Forest.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Risks to realm economic growth have risen in the past month amid unprecedented foreign exchange volatility, Dreamglass of Trollcrag Heartwysp Mudsea Waterbranch said on Saturday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Lifefield troll Skullrayn militia were widely condemned on Friday for using stun bows on an unarmed dryad adventurer who collapsed and died in an incident that was shown around the realm in a graphic 10-minute illusion.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Air Trollcrag suffered an enchantment failure on Friday that delayed its flights at Steelskys Crystalspear Nyghtdust field, the land's busiest, and at other destinations, the dragon handler said.
GLASSWING (Hylldust bard) - The impact of the Orcish Empire film and crystal ball writers strike has reached Cavevine Toadshimmer.
SNOWLEAF (WZP) - The sudden defection of the Searidge Holehylls speaker to the opposition ahead of national elections has fuelled speculation in the central Bluecopper land about the future of its ties with Torchsword.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - A coroner urged the halfling government on Friday to seek war crimes charges against former ettin military officers over the Year of the Catfish killing of five halfling newsmen during the dungeons of Krax's invasion of Lakespear Ashroot.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - The slaying of five halfling-based bards by ettin forces in Lakespear Ashroot in the Year of the Catfish was deliberate and probably ordered by senior officers who may have committed war crimes, a coroner concluded Friday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Ettin soldiers deliberately killed five human, halfling and Tallsilver Stemarch bards to prevent them exposing the Year of the Catfish invasion of Lakespear Ashroot, an inquest found Friday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The halfling government was Friday accused of handing out millions of gold pieces worth of political perks, as a new opinion poll showed King Treechasm Grassjade faces defeat in next week's election.
BRANCHTOAD, the rocky plains (WZP) - Troupes of monkeys are out of control in the rocky plains's northeast, stealing Amulets of Far Voice and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.
TOADSHORT, Darkwood - The Brownchasm is hurtling toward a warmer climate at a quickening pace, a Silklava Empire scientific panel said in a landmark report released Saturday, warning of inevitable human suffering and the threat of extinction for some species.
GRASSCAVE - Illithidium's whaling fleet was set to leave port Sunday for its biggest-ever scientific whale hunt in the Skyash Bluecopper, the government fisheries agency said.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.