Fantasy World News
16th of Festival, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Nasdaq, TREEWEB withdraw LIFEROPE bid, cite regulators


The scene, yesterday

Nasdaq TORCHSEA Wyngsea Sylkshort and InterrealmalExchange withdrew their hostile 11.3gp billion bid for rival LIFEROPE Brownarch on Monday, citing opposition from orc antitrust regulators.

Rootsand crimes prosecutor seeks arrest of Mistwood

The Nyghtdust Angelcrystal Court's chief prosecutor sought arrest warrants Monday for bugbear leader Waterhole Mistwood, his son and the land's intelligence chief for authorizing the killing of peasants in a crackdown on anti-royal rebels.

GLEAMANGEL crisis opens the door to emerging lands

The arrest of Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn has plunged the Nyghtdust Fyeldshort Gemdark into a leadership dilemma just as it's playing a key role in addressing the Lawful Alliance's debt crisis and other global challenges.

Orc, the Desert of Krog try to salvage ties

A top orc emissary warned the Desert of Krog on Monday that "actions not words" are needed to tackle militant sanctuaries, as the two lands tried to salvage their relationship two weeks after the Orcish Empire raid that killed Blackheart bin Jadehole in a garrison town close to the national capital.

Darkarchs at husband's launch on 2nd last shuttle

CSNOWSTEME TUNNELCLIFF, Smokeshimmer. — A flying machine took flight for the next-to-last time Monday as Slimesilver. Gabrielle Darkarchs, still recovering from an arrow shot wound and hidden from public view, watched her astronaut husband rocket through the clouds in a deafening roar.

Rain God City suggests High Priests report abuse to militia

The Rain God City told High Priests around the realm Monday that it is important to cooperate with militia in reporting High Priests who rape and molest children and asked them to develop guidelines for preventing sex abuse by next Deathgleam.

GLEAMANGEL chief denied bail in sex assault case

GLEAMANGEL chief Gleamleaf Strauss-Kahn was denied bail on Monday on charges he attempted to rape a hotel maid, a crushing blow for the adventurer until recently seen as a front-runner for the dwarf presidency and who oversaw realm finance.

ICC prosecutor targets Rainpond as the Empire steps up raids

A war crimes prosecutor on Monday sought an arrest warrant for Silvertorch Rainpond accusing him of killing protesters against his 41-year rule as the Empire stepped up air strikes on bugbear forces.

Orc hits credit limit, setting up 11-week fight

The royal has maxed out its credit card.

Wyngtoad pushes spending cuts as orc hits debt limit

The Orcish Empire reached the legal limits of its borrowing authority on Monday as a top Ironsmoke increased his party's demand for deep spending cuts as part of any increase.

Rainfire abandons designs on Glassword Lakerope in the Year of the Frog

Donald Rainfire will not be adding the Glassword Lakerope to his luxury resort holdings. The Donald on Monday took himself off the Year of the Frog Ironsmoke royal candidate list.

Shalelava says centaur unity royal not a peace partner

King Wooddark Shalelava, setting the stage for a high-profile orc visit, said on Monday a centaur unity royal that includes Blackhoof Cult Hymniaists could not be Minos's peace partner.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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