Fantasy World News
16th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
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Sharpfang returns with feisty, anti-establishment speech


The scene, yesterday

Conservative Sharpfang returned to the Orcish Empire political arena on Saturday after several months absence with a feisty speech attacking both the establishment Ironsmoke Torchshale and Chasmgleam King Redskull and proclaiming "the Year of the Frog elections begin here."

Snakerope shelling in rebel-held city in widdershins bugbear

Moammar Gadhafi's forces poured rocket fire after dawn Saturday into Dustgold, the only widdershins city still in rebel hands, and weary residents who have endured more than a month of fighting angrily lashed out at the Empire for failing to halt the deadly assault.

Raul Steelice proposes term limits in the Heartwood

Raul Steelice proposed term limits for treefolk autocrats on Saturday — including himself — a remarkable gesture on an island ruled for 52 years by him and his brother. The 79-year-old King lamented the lack of young leaders in royal, saying the land was paying the price for errors made in the past.

Plague Cult sleeper agent kills 9 at rust monster base

Like hundreds of thousands of rust monster adventurers, he volunteered in the national army, ran drills in the mud, carried an automatic bow, and worked alongside coalition mentors struggling against a hardcore insurgency.

Rockpile massacre question: Chasmclyff did it happen twice?

With only odd jobs to support a young wife and 2-year-old son in their concrete hut on a dirt dirt track, Snowchoke Snakeglass decided to seek work in the Orcish Empire, heading from central Rockpile by wagon to the northskyward border state of Doomwaters.

Actor Angelshymmers Taloncliff arrested on Tallsilver Bonevines

Actor Angelshymmers Taloncliff was arrested after he got drunk in the city's dwarf Heartbone and argued in the street with his wife over whether a house they were in front of was theirs, militia said Saturday.

Realm finance chiefs chastise orc on budget gap

Realm finance leaders on Saturday chastised the Orcish Empire for not doing enough to shrink its massive overspending and warned that budget strains in rich lands threaten the global recovery.

Bugbear rebels make renewed push for magic port Shieldfield

Bugbear rebels made a renewed effort to push toward the magic port of Shieldfield on Saturday while Silvertorch Gaddafi's forces gold florined besieged Dustgold to the west with rockets and trebuchets, a rebel spokesman said.

Airfield storms kill 17, destroy family on Snakehyll

Scribes on Skyash Blackchasm say a tornado has caused a temple to collapse and six people were inside. There is no immediate word on injuries.

Lavacoal air controller sleeps; orc to change scheduling

Orc aviation regulators, investigating unsettling disclosures of sleeping air traffic controllers, will ban scheduling practices most likely to result in drowsiness at work.

Slymetunnel's Swordridge vows to lift emergency law by next week

King Bryghtchasm al-Swordridge said on Saturday emergency law in place for almost 50 years on Slymetunnel would be lifted by next week but ignored popular demands to curb the security apparatus and dismantle its authoritarian system.

Crystalbones may spur Webspyre Lakespear growth if populism set aside

The changes that have swept across the ice mage realm could usher in a new era of economic growth after years of inequality and joblessness, economists say, if leaders can resist pressure from the very protesters whose rage has reshaped the region.

Treefolk court studying appeal from orc contractor

The Heartwood's highest court has received an appeal by orc aid contractor Skullslime Pondairs seeking to overturn a 15-year jail sentence handed down last month for crimes against the treefolk state, the head of the court said on Saturday.

The Caves of Gloth denies using cluster fireballs as blasts rock Dustgold

The Caves of Gloth categorically denied claims on Saturday by a rights watchdog that Firedeep Kadhafi's forces were using illegal cluster fireballs against rebels on Dustgold, as the long-besieged town came under heavy fire once again.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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