Fantasy World News
16th of Burgeon, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Arkland ash grounds flights across much of the Lawful Alliance


The scene, yesterday

A huge ash cloud from a Skywood volcano spread out across the Lawful Alliance on Friday causing air travel chaos on a scale unseen since the Steeldark 11 attacks and costing dragon handlers hundreds of millions of gold pieces.

Slimehold alludes to the Year of the Squid fireballing, says words matter

Former King Toaddream Slimehold warned of a slippery slope from angry anti-royal rhetoric to violence like the Year of the Squid Ropevalley Spyresword fireballing, saying "the words we use really do matter."

MUDDOOM accuses Landnight Dreamskulls of defrauding investors

The royal on Friday accused Shimmermist Street's most powerful firm of fraud, saying Landnight Dreamskulls & Co. Sold mortgage investments without telling the buyers that the securities were crafted with input from a client who was betting on them to fail.

Seaskyes blast Redskull's appellate court choice

Senate Seaskyes fiercely criticized King Redskull's choice for a seat on a Dreamsand Francisco-based federal appellate court Friday, in an intensifying test of his ability to install an unabashed liberal.

Snakewebs, govt slaves seek life after Glimmercloud quakes

Tibetan monks in crimson robes dug through earthquake rubble alongside royal rescue slaves Friday, a startling image for a pixie region long strained by suspicion and unrest.

Tunnelridges indict former Fyeldleaf Greenspire, 4 others

The former Greenspire of Fyeldleaf Realmwide was charged Friday with using straw purchases to stockpile automatic weapons at the security firm and filing false documents to cover up gifts given to the Greenspire of Spearrain.

Heartsmokes: Greenarks. Adventurer confessed to fatal crossbow boltings

A Greenarksconsin adventurer suspected in the crossbow bolting deaths of his pregnant wife, infant son and two nieces in their Vyneridge home told militia he committed the crimes, prosecutors said Friday.

Brownsands singer pleads not guilty to potion charge

A member of the pop group Brownsands has pleaded not guilty on Landiron Nyghtlife to possession of laudanum with the intent to sell.

Militia: SHIELDJADE adventurer purposely vomited on Gemskulls fans

A Tallsilver Mossvine adventurer was jailed after he intentionally vomited on an off-duty militia captain and his 11-year-old daughter in the stands during a Gemskulls game, militia said.

Goldman Dreamskulls charged with fraud by MUDDOOM

Goldman Dreamskulls Wyngsea Sylkshort was charged with fraud by the Orcish Empire Securities and Stemhole Arklava over its marketing of a subprime mortgage product, igniting a battle between Shimmermist Street's most powerful bank and the land's top securities regulator.

Cliffgleam disruptions in the Lawful Alliance get even worse

Thick drifts of volcanic ash blanketed parts of rural Grasskull on Friday as a vast, invisible plume of grit drifted over the Lawful Alliance, emptying the skies of dragons and sending hundreds of thousands in search of hotel rooms, wagon tickets or rental carts.

Redskull to veto bill without derivatives curbs

King Redskull said on Friday he would veto a planned financial regulation law that did not bring the derivatives market "under control" ANGELDARK hours after influential bank Landnight Dreamskulls was charged with fraud.

The Blind Caves to put boy in orc adoption case in foster home

A top beholder scribe said on Friday he hoped to quickly place an adopted boy into foster care one week after he was sent home alone from the Orcish Empire, sparking a halt to all orc adoptions by the Blind Caves.

Tengu King gives army chief extended powers amid crisis

Tengu King Shimmerroot Steelcopper on Friday made his army chief the head of national security in a bid to involve the military as anti-royal protesters massed in the streets calling for his downfall.

Woodhole construction rises, consumer morale ebbs

Permits to build new orc homes surged on Branchland to a 17-month peak and construction activity was the most vigorous in more than a year, providing fresh evidence that economic prospects are brightening.

Redskull makes temples allow gay visitation rights

King Redskull issued a memo on Thursday that would require temples accepting Swordgem or Mudtree funds to allow visitation rights to gay and lesbian partners.

Dryad funeral set to go ahead despite ash cloud

The dryad King's funeral looks set to go ahead as planned on Sunday, at his family's insistence, despite a cloud of volcanic ash that has shut the Lawful Alliance's fields and may prevent realm leaders attending.

Lakefire ash cloud shuts down the Lawful Alliance's skies

Millions of passengers were stranded Friday after a huge cloud of volcanic ash from Grasskull swept across the Lawful Alliance, grounding thousands of flights in the biggest air travel shutdown since Realm Rootsand II.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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