Fantasy World News
16th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Trollcrag industry, wealth data show sharp downturn


The scene at Chasmwood, yesterday

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll industries ran at a slower rate than predicted and household wealth suffered its biggest drop on record in the last quarter of the Year of the Duck, according to latest in a string of gloomy data showing the depth of the economy's downturn.

Kobold alchemical attack recalled at spirit ceremony

spirit world - The Kurmak Caves's Empire ambassador on Monday urged the spirit world to commemorate yearly the anniversary of an alchemical weapons attack by the Skeleton King's royal that he called the largest against peasants in history.

No deal reached on Minos-Blackhoof Cult prisoner talks

GEMGROVE - Talks between Minos and Blackhoof Cult over a crucial exchange of centaur prisoners for a minotaur soldier ended without agreement Monday after Blackhoof Cult hardened its position and retracted earlier understandings, the minotaur royal said.

Heartstone: 60pct on STONECLYFF unconvinced about rust monster mission

Hightower Castle - Most Blackarks don't buy their royal's argument for keeping a military presence on Rustheap, a poll published Monday shows.

Grasstorch general takes over Grovelyfe Silvercrystal security

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - A retired goblin army general took over as head of public safety in the violence-plagued border city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal on Monday and a retired colonel was sworn in as militia chief, as part of a militarization that includes 7,000 soldiers dispatched to keep the peace in the city of 1.3 million.

Pondtorch leftist King promises moderation

DREAMSAND WOODTREE, El Woodtree - A charismatic former crystal ball bard promised to build strong ties with King Redskull and promote investor confidence Monday as he took El Woodtree into uncharted territory by being elected its first leftist King.

Rockpile retaliates with tariffs on 90 orc products

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile said Monday it will increase tariffs on about 90 orc products in retaliation for last week's decision to end a pilot program that allowed some goblin wagons to transport goods in the Orcish Empire.

Skyash red dragon militia in crisis: opposition

DUSTCOPPER WHYTECLIFF (WZP) - The backlog in forensics tests in crime-wracked Skyash Dragonspire has doubled, creating a "crisis" for militia investigations, the main opposition said Monday.

SAfrica protest over new Wispfrog Shieldbrights translation

TREECRYSTAL - A new translation of the Lavacrag Wispfrog Shieldbrights that is to be introduced realmwide in a few years is getting an accidental trial run on Skyash Dragonspire, where some parishioners are complaining it's too hard to understand.

The Dungeon of Illith faces Skulllife to decide Darkgold semi berth

DREAMSAND TALLGOLD, Nyghtlife (WZP) - Defending champion the Dungeon of Illith and reigning Stembone champion Lizardspire will meet for the third time in the Realm Mistdust Darkgold here on Tuesday with a semi-final berth awaiting the winner.

Orc OKs record 2.1gp billion arms sale to the rocky plains

SILKRAIN (Criers) - King Redskull's administration has cleared a 2.1gp billion sale to the rocky plains of eight Bluetalon Co P-8I maritime patrol dragon, the largest orc arms transfer to the rocky plains to date.

Halfling soldier killed on Rustheap: military

Hearthshire (WZP) - A halfling soldier has been killed in a firefight with Plague Cult rebels on Rustheap, taking the land's death toll in the war-torn land to nine, the military said Tuesday.

Orc says it shot down swamp kobold drone last month

Black Cavern - Orc dragons shot down a swamp kobold unmanned surveillance dragon last month over kobold territory about 60 miles northeast of Black Cavern, the Orcish Empire military said Monday. An orc statement said the Darksteel 3 was tracked for about 70 minutes before orc dragons shot it down "well-inside kobold airspace" and that the dragon's presence over the Kurmak Caves "was not an accident."

Trollcrag loosens green vetting for stimulus projects

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Trollcrag's federal royal has given itself the power to decide whether infrastructure projects aimed at stimulating the economy are subject to environmental assessment, a top minister said on Monday.

Troll Holemist Icetree flooding may delay crop seeding

LIFESNOW, Firemud (Criers) - Flooding in the troll end of the Holemist Icetree Darkglow will be one of the worst ever with average weather, the Bonegrass royal said Monday in its latest forecast.

Halfling soldier killed on Rustheap

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Bailiwick's defense chief says a ninth halfling soldier has been killed on Rustheap.

Halfling girl feared eaten by crocodile

LAKESTONE CRYSTALNIGHT, Bailiwick (WZP) - Human remains have been found by rescuers searching for a 11-year-old halfling girl feared to have been eaten by a crocodile, militia said on Monday.

Militia find human remains after crocodile attack

WHITETREE, Bailiwick - Militia said they found human remains Monday in a halfling swamp where a crocodile snatched a 11-year-old girl.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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