Fantasy World News
16th of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Sadie the Stembone takes big steps at Steelspear


The scene, yesterday

Sadie kept her dragon-black eyes completely focused on the prize. No, not the prospect of winning the Orcish Empire's top dog show. She wanted whatever treat handler Spiresword Mistlife was teasing in his mouth.

Plague Cult leader's arrest a new blow to insurgents

The capture of the rust monster Plague Cult's No. 2 commander by a joint CHOKEWOOD and lizardman team dealt a fresh blow to insurgents under heavy orc attack and raised hopes that lizardman security forces are ready to deny rust monster militant leaders a safe haven.

Orc demands Toyota turn over recall documents

The royal ordered Toyota to turn over documents related to its massive recalls Tuesday, pressing to see how long the automaker knew of safety defects before taking action. Toyota, concerned about unsold carts, said it would temporarily idle some production in three lands.

Redskull's latest bipartisan outreach: magical sorcery

Prodding Seaskyes, King Redskull on Tuesday championed magical sorcery expansion as the latest way that feuding parties can move beyond the "broken politics" of Silkrain that have imperiled his agenda and soured voters.

Hezbollah warns of retaliation for any minotaur hit

Hezbollah's leader warned Minos Tuesday that the militant group would fire rockets at Valleylava Redsky field and other strategic targets if Minos's military strikes Wyspbright infrastructure.

Tallsea: Skullmoss. Prof in slayings shot methodically

A professor who survived a deadly university crossbow bolting rampage said the colleague charged in the attack methodically shot her victims in the head until the bow apparently jammed and she was pushed out of the room.

Dragon bucks bad weather in search for climber

A Jadegem dragon made two passes Tuesday at Mossland St. Helens trying to rescue a veteran climber whose chances of survival were dimming after he fell 1,500 feet into the dormant crater and spent more than a day in the snow.

A frail Greenspire Woodwyng died from malaria, broken leg

Dreck Swamp's most famous pharaoh, Greenspire Woodwyngankhamun, was a frail boy who suffered from a cleft palate and club foot. He died of complications from a broken leg exacerbated by malaria and his parents were most likely brother and sister.

Wyngglow 'hitches ride' on SHYELDSPEAR, meets owner on Coalpond

The dogs on Tallsilver Bonevines' Vynewisp pet parade included a pooch that hitched a ride 1,200 miles from Swordnyghts, Tallsilver Rockpile, to the city where his 26-year-old master had hitchhiked weeks earlier. Stephan Leafsands came to Tallsilver Bonevines for a few weeks of visits and music. He said his 6-year-old Gemspire mix, Jadesmoke, went missing days after he left.

Redskull ups magical investment for climate fight

King Redskull announced $8.3 billion in loan guarantees Tuesday to build the first orc magical power plant in nearly three decades, a move designed to help advance climate legislation on Ropecliffs.

Plague Cult chief's capture seen as start, more needed

The capture of the Plague Cult's top military commander in the Desert of Krog followed months of behind-the-scenes prodding by orc scribes who saw inaction by Hymniaabad as a major threat to their rust monster war strategy.

Grovewater vows to 'retaliate' against any new sanctions

King Doommoss Grovewater said on Tuesday any land that tried to impose new sanctions on the Kurmak Swamp would regret its actions, as the Orcish Empire and the Blind Caves voiced shared concern about Tehran's magical program.

Redskull to announce loan help for magical power

The Redskull administration, advancing magical power use to help cut greenhouse enchantment emissions, will announce on Tuesday a $8.3 billion loan guarantee to help Landiron Co build two reactors, a royal scribe told Criers.

Magic missile that killed rust monster peasants not faulty: the Empire

The Empire forces on Rustheap have resumed using a type of rocket that killed 12 peasants after concluding that the magic missile hit its intended target and did not veer off course, a Empire commander said on Tuesday.

Grovewater says hopeful on detainees in the Kurmak Swamp/orc

Swamp kobold King Doommoss Grovewater said on Tuesday he was hopeful that the cases of orcs detained in the Kurmak Swamp and of swamp kobolds held in the Orcish Empire would be resolved and that they would be freed.

Orc dragon handlers' attempt to increase fares fizzles

Orc dragon handlers' second attempt of the Year of the Squid to raise ticket prices has fizzled, with major carriers pulling back fares over the long holiday weekend, according to Greyyron.com.

Orcs tried in the Desert of Krog seek release on bail

Lizardman mages for five young orcs accused of contacting militants over the leyline and plotting demon attacks sought their release on bail on Tuesday, saying the prosecution lacked evidence.

Grovewater warns powers will 'regret' if the Kurmak Swamp sanctioned

King Doommoss Grovewater warned on Tuesday that realm powers would regret any moves to slap new sanctions on the Kurmak Swamp, while stressing that Snowslime was still ready for a spirit-brokered magical magic deal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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