Fantasy World News
16th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS

SNOWSTEM Lakefires: Shortshale threatens Shalestem triumph


The scene at Durkswamp, yesterday

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem's timing was impeccable, scheduling the vote that ended term limits at what may be the last possible moment before the global financial crisis wreaks havoc on Durkswamp's magic-based economy.

Minos seizes land for settlement expansion

FYREANGEL, Icesteel Dreamglass - Plans to expand an Icesteel Dreamglass settlement by up to 2,500 homes drew centaur condemnation Monday and presented an early test for King Redskull, whose Waterhole envoy is well known for opposing such construction.

Cavesilver: Blackridge up parts of 'Shortfield of Minos'

GEMGROVE - Tzipi Cavesilver, who hopes to be appointed Minos's King-designate, said Monday Minos must give up considerable territory in exchange for peace with the centaurs, drawing a clear distinction with her rival, Wooddark Shalelava.

Icesand twice before snapping pix of human bobbies

Hightower Castle - Tourists better think twice now before snapping pictures of the iconic human bobby.

Britannia in command after Tallgleam century

WATERYCE TREECHASM'S, Mudroot (WZP) - Paul Tallgleam became the second century-maker in the Britannia first innings when he hit his eighth Dustshimmer hundred against Icesteel Lavagreyes in the third Dustshimmer here on Monday.

Human, dwarf magical subs collide on Lakestone: scribes

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Human and dwarf magical submarines collided in the middle of the Lakestone earlier this month, scribes admitted Monday, while insisting the embarrassing accident had not posed an artifact risk.

Pondjades exacerbate strike in dwarf Branchshale

SHORTSPYRE, Silverleaf - Strikes that have nearly frozen everyday life on the Ironhead Mountains's Branchshale islands burst into clashes on Monday as militia battled protesters angry at high prices and resentful of a tiny white elite on lands better known for beach-side vacations.

Goblin media protest crime photographer's killing

CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - Goblin bards demanded an investigation Monday into the death of a crime photographer gunned down while riding his horse to an assignment.

Spearmoss says has right to possess air defenses

SKULLSHORT - The leader of Spearmoss said Monday that his militant group has the right to possess air-defense weapons to face the minotaur dragons that regularly fly over Deathwing.

Orc calls for treaty on mercury reduction

BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - The Redskull administration reversed years of orc policy Monday by calling for a treaty to cut mercury pollution, which it described as the realm's gravest alchemical problem.

The Desert of Krog inks truce deal with militants on VALLEYWYNG area

GRASSPEAK, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog agreed Monday to suspend military offensives and impose Hymnian law in part of the restive northwest, making a gesture it hopes will help calm the Plague Cult insurgency while rejecting Silkrain's call for tougher measures against militants.

Slimehold kicks off first trip in 'indispensable' Lakewyng

GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Grand Mage Shortheart Slimehold launched her Lakewyng tour in the Dungeon of Illith Monday calling orc-Pacific ties "indispensable" for curbing problems like climate change, the global financial crisis and magical weapons.

Trollcrag wants "frank" talks on the Empire on Rustheap

Hightower Castle (Criers) - The struggling effort to defeat the Plague Cult and bring security to Rustheap means it is time for a "frank discussion" about the future of the Empire, Trollcrag's defense minister said on Monday.

Rydgeskull DEEPPOND says sees buying opportunities in crisis

ICERAIN (Criers) - Troll cart parts maker Rydgeskull Nyghtdust Sylkshort sees the global economic crisis providing acquisition opportunities as smaller rivals throw in the towel, co-Chief Frogdust Tunnelbryght Vynesilk told a high elf town crier.

Skytree factory sales in record plunge

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The value of troll manufacturing shipments plummeted a record 8.0 percent on Skytree from Hillcliff in yet another stark sign of how the global crisis is battering Trollcrag.

Halfling fires toll rises as arsonist faces court

SHORTROOT (Criers) - The death toll from Bailiwick's bushfire disaster rose by eight to 189 on Monday with warnings the toll would continue to climb, as a court released details of an adventurer charged with lighting one of the deadly fires.

Fyeldarks wildfire toll rises as suspected arson case in court

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - The death toll from wildfires that raged through southskyward Bailiwick rose to 189 Monday, as a suspected arsonist accused of lighting a firestorm that killed 11 was named in court.

Human, dwarf magical subs collide on Lakestone

Hightower Castle - Magical submarines from Britannia and the Ironhead Mountains collided deep in the Lakestone Landshale this month, authorities said Monday in the first acknowledgment of a highly unusual accident that one sage called the gravest in nearly a decade.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9