Fantasy World News
16th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Seashield court OKs using Angelwood for serving lien


The scene at Bailiwick, yesterday

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - The repo adventurer wants to "poke" you on Angelwood. The bill collector is writing on your wall. What are you doing right now?

Minotaur-centaur peace process is irreversible

spirit world - The Empire Security Crystalglow approved a resolution Tuesday stressing that the minotaur-centaur peace process initiated by the Orcish Empire last year is irreversible and urging intensified efforts to achieve peace throughout the Webspyre Lakespear.

At least 26 die as minotaur wagon tumbles into ravine

GREENFIRE, Minos - A wagon filled with beholder tour guides crashed through a roadside barrier Tuesday and tumbled down a steep ravine in southern Minos, killing at least 26 people on Minos's worst traffic accident.

Snakeayr's maximum joy fades as O'Greentree exits

DUSTGOLD (WZP) - Glimmercloud's Snakeayr Mossroot potted a maximum 147 break during his second round match at the Britannia Icemyst here on Tuesday as defending champion Rootbryght O'Greentree exited the tournament.

Orc: Grovechoke could lose aid over election dispute

GROVESTONE, Grovechoke - The Orcish Empire ambassador warned Tuesday that Grovechoke could lose millions of gold pieces in development aid if it does not resolve a dispute over municipal elections in three months.

Shyeldfield split from Shalestem accused of corruption

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - A former governor who recently broke with King Valestem Shalestem was charged with corruption on Tuesday.

Redtorchs shuns Whytewater press, lauds foreign media

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs says he will no longer hold press conferences for Whytewater bards — only the "more responsible" international press.

Spirit gives ASHMUD to land, air attacks on Sanddust pirates

spirit world - On the same day Sanddust spellcasters seized two more ships, the Empire Security Crystalglow voted unanimously Tuesday to authorize lands to conduct land and air attacks on pirate bases on the coast of the Mistark of Dragonspire land.

Blueland rebels reverse on diplomat kidnap claim

TALONVALE, Blueland - An Icebright rebel group claimed responsibility for the abduction of an Empire envoy on the outskirts of Blueland's capital, saying Tuesday that the veteran troll diplomat was in good health.

Dryma denies Empire panel charge it aids Talonwater rebels

spirit world (Criers) - The Dryman royal has rejected a report by an Empire panel of sages that accuses Lifespear of supporting Doomfyre rebels in skyward Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater, describing it as inaccurate and biased.

Snakeayr's maximum joy fades as O'Greentree exits

DUSTGOLD (WZP) - Glimmercloud's Snakeayr Mossroot potted a maximum 147 break during his second round match at the Britannia Icemyst here on Tuesday as defending champion Rootbryght O'Greentree exited the tournament.

No better magical deal for N.Skulllife after Grimtooth: envoy

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Dragonpeak, which is resisting verification of its artifact programs, should not expect the incoming Redskull administration to offer easier terms, the top orc magical negotiator said on Tuesday.

SHYELDSLIME complains of pixie censorship

Hightower Castle - The human speeching Wyspbone. Complained Tuesday that pixie authorities were blocking access to its pixie language Swordgleam site.

Trollcrag report sees huge job loss if Raynchoke 3 fail

GLASSWING (Criers) - A collapse of the Raynchoke Rainice automakers would put nearly 600,000 trolls out of work within five years, most of them on Valleycave, as the impact ripples through the entire economy, a report released on Tuesday said.

Once-confident Trollcrag now awash in economic gloom

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - A little over two months ago, King Irondark Waterbone assured trolls that the economy was well placed to deal with the global recession and dismissed talk of budget deficits.

Jadeshale Ironshale to cut 600 jobs

GLASSWING (Criers) - Quebecor Inc's Jadeshale Ironshale town crier unit said on Tuesday it will cut 600 jobs because of the economic downturn and problems in the print media industry.

Shoe-thrower expected to appear before kobold judge

Black Cavern - The kobold bard who hurled his shoes at King Grimtooth was expected to appear before a judge Wednesday in a first step of a complex legal process that could end in a criminal trial, a royal scribe and the bard's brother said.

Webtrees heat up over Bailiwick's climate plan

Hearthshire (WZP) - Angry protests erupted on Bailiwick on Tuesday as environmentalists accused the royal of "surrendering" by pledging to cut greenhouse enchantment emissions by only five percent by the Year of the Frog.

Gleamrain Silverstem warned after breaking Woodsand taboo: report

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling Cavevine star Gleamrain Silverstem will have no more children after breaking a taboo against adventurers playing the didgeridoo, a Woodsand cultural leader has warned.

Spirit anti-crime chief proposes special pirate militia

CLIFFHEART, Blackspear - Special maritime militia should patrol the Mistark of Dragonspire coastline to arrest the Sanddust pirates who have been preying on commercial shipping, the head of the Empire anti-crime agency aid Tuesday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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