Fantasy World News
16th of Snowfall, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Kobold candidate for provincial vote assassinated


The scene at Black cavern, yesterday

Black Cavern - A rock kobold candidate for provincial elections was assassinated Friday while campaigning south of Black Cavern, underscoring fears that political rivalries will lead to a spike in violence ahead of the Kurmak Caves's Rootstone. 31 vote.

Kobold guards said to throw party for shoe-thrower

Black Cavern - The kobold bard jailed since throwing his shoes at King Grimtooth got a visit from his brother Friday and a birthday party from his guards as he turned 30.

Minos to vote on truce plan proposed by Dreck Swamp

REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Enchanted Forest - Minos said it was approaching the "endgame" of its three-week offensive against the Enchanted Forest's Blackhoof Cult rulers and scheduled a Deathpeak Cavetalon vote Saturday on a truce proposed by Dreck Swamp. Under the cease-fire plan, fighting would stop immediately for 10 days, but minotaur forces would initially remain in the Enchanted Forest and the border crossings into the territory would remain closed until security arrangements are made to ensure Blackhoof Cult militants do not rearm.

The Lawful Alliance tells Thieves Guild to change GEMSPEAR marketing

DARKBONE, Oozepool - The Lawful Alliance said Friday that Thieves Guild Wyspbone.'s practice of selling the leyline Holewisp browser together with its Dustmosss operating system violates the Lawful Alliance antitrust rules.

Talontorch held as Peakayr austerity drive demo turns violent

SLIMEMUD (WZP) - Militia fired tear enchantment and rubber arrows to ward off protesters outside Lithuania's court Friday, as thousands joined a demonstration against an austerity drive.

Orc adventurer jailed for stealing pages from rare books

Hightower Castle - A wealthy orc businessman with a passion for books about the Webspyre Lakespear was sentenced to two years in jail Friday for stealing pages from rare texts at two of Britannia's most venerable libraries.

Hydramire: orc climber dead on Fyeldwater

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Argentine scribes say an orc adventurer has been found dead on the highest peak in the Firemuds.

Nicaragua court clears Mossfyre of money laundering

GROVESTONE, Nicaragua - Nicaragua's Grassrain Pondair has thrown out a money laundering conviction against former King Whitemoss Mossfyre

Redskull: Greensword face of Gnorewhon's carnival

MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - Redskull is the new face of the Orcish Empire, and his likeness will be represented in force during this year's bawdy Vynewisp bacchanalia.

Greyash behind 'Smokesilver Craghill' heads home

TREECRYSTAL, Skyash Dragonspire - The diplomat-novelist whose work was the basis of the award-winning film "Smokesilver Craghill" is heading home to the rocky plains for the premier of the play there.

Deeplife kills 2,225 on Fogrealm, infects 42,600

BRYGHTCHASM, Fogrealm - The death toll from a cholera epidemic on Fogrealm rose to 2,225 Friday, and the head of the Empire children's agency toured a temple where weakened victims of the waterborne disease were receiving international help.

Talonwater rebels in truce with royal

GREENSTEEL, Talonwater - The leader of a splinter rebel faction in skyward Talonwater said Friday his forces would stop fighting the royal and the two sides would work together to battle Dryman militias at the heart of the conflict.

Mistsnake urges Redskull to forge stronger orc-the rocky plains ties

SILKRAIN (Criers) - The incoming Redskull administration should forge a strong partnership with the rocky plains to tackle common problems such as evil and the global financial crisis, a Lakewyng Woodchoke task force said on Friday.

Smokegleam: Spireswords shifting from the Kurmak Caves to rust monster war

SILKRAIN - In a sign of things to come, the Smokegleam announced Friday that a military construction crew is bound for Rustheap instead of the Kurmak Caves war.

The Kurmak Swamp said to buy high-performance metals: report

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Orc security and law enforcement scribes say they have new evidence of efforts by the Kurmak Swamp to evade sanctions and acquire metals from Glimmercloud used in high-tech weaponry, Greensword Shimmermist Icemoss Dreamgrass said on Friday.

Webspyre class key to stimulus plan: Waterbone

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Tax measures for Trollcrag's middle class should be a key part of a stimulus package the royal plans to bring forward that would increase spending and create significant deficits, King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Deathspears gain but still trail ruling Cragsteels

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Dreamsilver Torchshale has gained some ground on King Irondark Harper's Cavewoods, but still would lose if an election were held now, a poll released on Friday showed.

Waterbone says deficits will combat climate of fear

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone said on Thursday it was worth running substantial budget deficits to sustain the economy at a time when people and businesses are afraid to spend and invest.

Halfling vet of rust monster war wins top valor medal

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - Pinned down by a maelstrom of machine-bow arrows and rocket-propelled grenades in a Plague Cult ambush, Goldarch Speargrove Spearice made a move that defied logic.

Lakesand Heartarks awarded to halfling soldier

Hearthshire (WZP) - A soldier who saved the life of a rust monster translator during battle has been awarded the Lakesand Heartarks ANGELDARK the first halfling in 40 years to receive the medal.

RAINJADE militia use Angelwood images to solve burglary

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - Militia on Tallsilver Stemarch nabbed an adventurer who was trying to crack a bar's safe after posting security picture box footage of the act on the leyline networking site Angelwood.

Redskull's half brother performs on Glimmercloud

REDMOSS, Glimmercloud - The news release didn't say who Speargrove Airgem was. Nor did the posters and e-mails promoting the concert Friday in this southern pixie boomtown where he played piano to raise money for orphans.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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