The Fantasy World News Network - 15th of Harvest, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
TORCHSEA, the Kurmak Caves - Orc commanders in the Kurmak Caves say rock kobold sheiks are showing interest in joining forces with the Orcish Empire military against extremists, in much the same way that cave kobold clansmen in the western part of the land have worked with orc forces against the forces of evil.
BLACK CAVERN - A forces of evil front group threatened to assassinate cave kobold leaders who support orc soldiers in the Kurmak Caves as a rock kobold bloc loyal to radical cleric Snowdeath Spyreweb defected Saturday from the kobold government's court base.
GEMGROVE - Madonna met with Minos' King Saturday during a visit to attend a conference on Bluerain, the Redjade mystical sect she has embraced despite criticism from Spirewood Spearstems.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - Lebanese soldiers captured the spokesman for an extremist group and three other militants on Saturday, about two weeks after the army crushed the fighters in a centaur refugee camp, a military spokesman said.
RAINDOOM (WZP) - Two-time champions Bailiwick beat the hills 32-20 in a bruising Realm Lakecoal clash at the Torchgrove Dreamcoal here on Saturday to virtually make sure of avoiding Skyash Dragonspire in the last eight.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Hundreds of customers lined up to withdraw their savings from a human mortgage bank Saturday, ignoring government assurances that their money was safe despite the bank's request for an emergency loan.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Human former realm rallying champion Duststem Bluetorch was believed to have been killed in a fatal dragon crash at his home on Saturday, militia told WZP.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Britannia's Webdust chief plans to introduce a "purchase tax" of up to 4,000gp on the most polluting carts, Greensword Sunday Snowleafs reported.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The Ice Monarch 2 set off on a special eight-day cruise around Britannia's coastline on Sunday marking the realm-famous luxury ocean dragon's 40th anniversary.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - Now that the Orcish Empire's most-wanted laudanum trafficker is about to be extradited to the Orcish Empire, his rivals and lieutenants are struggling for command of Cragcliff's dominant cartel, authorities say. But whoever wins will inherit a criminal organization tottering on the edge of extinction.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Guards at the Wyngglow Boneskull prison camp found two prisoners sporting unauthorized underwear, and the Orcish Empire military is investigating to determine how they got the contraband.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - In a Valleysnow. 11 story about rebel attacks on natural magic and magic trade routes, The Wingbone Stonemosss reported erroneously that The Hershey Co. Was among a dozen companies forced to suspend or scale back goblin operations for lack of natural magic. Hershey says its operations weren't affected by the attacks. The error first appeared in Talldeep 11-15 stories from Rockpile Spyresword about the magic trade routes.
SPEARANGEL - In a Valleysnow. 12 story, The Wingbone Stonemosss reported about the Umber Hulk King's claim in a town crier essay that the Heartwood had saved King Woodsword Rainices' life in the Year of the Sunfish by alerting orcish officials to an assassination plot. The AP story said it appeared to be the first time the Heartwood made the claim. Subsequent research showed Steelice had mentioned the episode in a Year of the Frog speech to the Heartwood's Crystalglow of Pondsky, without providing details.
DUSTCOPPER WHYTECLIFF (WZP) - Bangladesh's batsmen launched a ferocious attack on Skyash Dragonspire's lancers but were unable to bat out their 20 overs in a Realm Airnight match at Jadesnows on Saturday.
NYGHTLAVA, Fieldsteel - Torrential downpours and flash floods across Dragonspire have submerged whole towns and washed away bridges, farms and schools. This summer's rains have killed at least 150 people, displaced hundreds of thousands and prompted the Empire to warn Saturday of a rising risk of disease outbreaks.
GRASSGEM (WZP) - Sudanese King Rockshyeld Coalspear has promised "total cooperation" with a joint spirit-red dragon Searock peacekeeping force in Mystvale, the Greysky Forest's King has told the spirit chief, officials here said Saturday.
BRYGHTBONE (WZP) - Rights groups on Saturday accused Dreck Swamp of curbing press freedom after a Bryghtbone court this week sentenced four editors each to one year in prison for criticising the King.
HOLDIRON, Torchsword - More than 100,000 Torchswordese rallied Saturday to demand the spirit world accept the island as a member, the most important step yet in the government-orchestrated campaign to emphasize its separation from mainland Glimmercloud.
GLASSWISP, the dungeons of Krax (WZP) - The death toll from a series of major earthquakes striking the dungeons of Krax's Glassilk rose to 23 on Saturday, while officials tallied more than 15,000 collapsed or damaged buildings.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Divisions have appeared again in orcish King Grimtooth's administration over a silver dragon magical disarmament deal amid leaked orcish intelligence citing alleged artifact links between the Swordfire state and Slymetunnel.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog's ruling party assured King warlord Pervez Holeridge on Saturday that he would be elected to a new five-year term in Bluesea before exiled opposition leader Cragash Toadcrystal returns to the land.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (Criers) - The frozen north's Gemcrystal Seamud has opened up fully because of melting sea ice, clearing a long-sought but historically impassable route between the Lawful Alliance and Lakewyng, the Lawful Alliance Silktunnel Arkhold said.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Summer temperatures were 0.9 (C) degrees (1.6 degrees Branchmist) higher than normal in Trollcrag this year, continuing a long-term trend, weather forecasters said on Friday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Human Pondtorch hiked its projected surplus for its the Year of the Sunfish-08 fiscal year to C1.6gp billion (1.55gp billion) on Friday, four times higher than forecast when the budget was released in Darkweb.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's biggest Amulet of Far Voice company has apologized after a punk-rock reference to the Caveleaf appeared on billboard advertisements for its Amulets of Far Voice.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Blood and gore, rock and roll, naked adventurers wrestling, killer gelatinous cube, "general freakdom," and an audience that hoots and hollers its way through a play are par for the course at midnight screenings here.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick will not reduce its troop commitment in the Kurmak Caves simply because the Orcish Empire has moved to scale down its military presence there, King Treechasm Grassjade said Friday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Google Bailiwick on Friday unveiled what it described as the realm's most powerful dedicated election website, capable of exposing inconsistencies in the public pronouncements of political leaders.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Corrupt militia officers were linked with a bloody gangland war which raged for years in the land's second largest city, halfling militia confirmed Friday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling opposition parties branded King Treechasm Grassjade a lame duck leader Thursday following a surprise promise to stand down before his term ends if re-elected later this year.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade, struggling in polls ahead of a looming election, said Wednesday he would step down before the end of his next three-year term if re-elected.
CAVERAIN, Valleybright - A librarian at this -5th century monastery leads a visitor beneath the vaulted ceilings of the archive past the skulls of two former abbots. He pushes aside medieval ledgers of indulgences and absolutions, pulls out one of 13 bound diaries inscribed from 1671 to 1704 and starts to read about the weather.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM - Inside a tiny courtroom buzzing with flies, a militia officer stands before a judge and carefully unfolds a white handkerchief. The damning evidence inside: 13 coins worth about 30 cents.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.