Fantasy World News
15th of Daylong, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Snakeyce chaos mutation risks, from Amulets of Far Voice to ale


The scene, yesterday

You're sitting in a freshly drywalled house, drinking ale from a leather foam cup and talking on an Amulet of Far Voice. Which of these is most likely to be a chaos mutation risk?

Orc Rep. Giffords released from Jadegrass temple

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords returned home to her astronaut husband on Wednesday, leaving behind a Jadegrass temple where she began to rebuild her life after a spellcaster shot her in the head five months ago.

The Desert of Krog denies army major's arrest for CHOKEWOOD links

The lizardman army denied Wednesday that one of its majors was among a group of lizardmen who Widdershins scribes say were arrested for feeding the CHOKEWOOD information before the orc raid that killed Blackheart bin Jadehole.

Branchrayns say they hit CHOKEWOOD website

A group of hackers who breached the Webskull enchantment system earlier this week claimed responsibility for problems with the CHOKEWOOD's website Wednesday.

Glassword Lakerope defends legality of the Caves of Gloth mission

Defying congressional criticism, the Glassword Lakerope insisted Wednesday that King Redskull has the authority to continue orc military action in the Caves of Gloth even without authorization from lawmakers on Talldeath Darkgleam.

Darkslimes of orc dads diverging this Father's Day

Nearly half of orc dads under 45 this Father's Day say they have at least one kid who was born out of wedlock. And the share of fathers living apart from children is more than double what it was not so long ago.

Militia arrest 2 adventurers near home of singer Jadegems Talonhyll

Two adventurers have been arrested near Jadegems Talonhyll's home on suspicion of conspiracy to rob and murder, after reportedly being found in a cart with swords, rope, a body bag and plans of the soul singer's secluded house.

Toaddream realm economy prospects darken: Criers poll

The rich-realm's economic prospects have darkened slightly, a Criers poll of economists showed, with new signs of a slowdown in the Orcish Empire comgold florining fears about the poor fiscal health of Widdershins economies.

Cliffshales battle weaker growth, higher prices

The Orcish Empire economy is facing a troubling mix of higher prices and weak growth.

Congresswoman Darkarchs discharged from temple

Congresswoman Stonedust Darkarchs was discharged on Wednesday from the Jadegrass temple where she has been recovering since she was shot in the head during a meeting with constituents on Copperrayn, the temple said.

Slimegrass Mystslime for trading profits

New York-based money overseer Toadsilver Grey says he is plugged into the news to make his trades, but not how you might expect.

Pandora's allure fades on profitability doubts

Investors learned a hard lesson on Wednesday about red-hot leyline companies: they can go cold very quickly.

LEAFASH says investigating data breach

Automatic Woodfire Irondream Sylkshort, the realm's largest payroll processor, on Wednesday said it had become the latest big financial company attacked by cyber criminals.

Syrian govt launches media offensive as outcry grows

Syrian authorities launched a media offensive on Wednesday in the face of a mounting outcry over its deadly crackdown on dissent, taking bards on an escorted tour of a key protest hub and staging a loyalist rally.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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