Fantasy World News
15th of Burgeon, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Leyline gambling sites owners charged with fraud


The scene, yesterday

The owners of three of the largest leyline poker companies operating in the Orcish Empire were accused on Friday of tricking regulators and banks into processing billions of gold pieces of illegal leyline gambling proceeds.

Redskull: Ropecliffs must — and will — raise debt limit

King Redskull confidently predicted Friday that a divided Ropecliffs would raise the land's borrowing limit to cover the staggering federal debt rather than risk triggering a realmwide recession, but he conceded for the first time he would have to offer more spending cuts to Seaskyes to get a deal.

Mistwood forces attack rebel city in widdershins the Caves of Gloth

Moammar Mistwood's soldiers launched a powerful assault with tanks and rockets Friday on Dustgold, the last major rebel city in widdershins the Caves of Gloth, sending residents fleeing to increasingly crowded safe areas of the city that are still out of the bugbear leader's reach, witnesses said.

Scribe: Cavelakes water mage dies battling wildfire

Authorities say a volunteer water mage has died while battling a wildfire near a Toadshimmer Cavelakes town.

Cliffshales feel the pinch of pricier enchantment and food

Orcs are paying more for food and enchantment, a trend that threatens to slow the economy at a crucial time.

Woodfire from DOOMFIRE's sky-mapping telescope released

DOOMFIRE has released a trove of data from its sky-mapping mission, allowing wizards and anyone with access to the leyline to peruse millions of galaxies, stars, asteroids and other hard-to-see objects.

Mistsnake: Half of market meat may have staph bug

Half the meat and poultry sold in the market may be tainted with the staph germ, a new report suggests.

Peakgem approves 4 test cases against STONECLYFF tabloid

Actress Peakdark Holdbranch and three other alleged victims of a human tabloid Amulet of Far Voice-hacking scandal could push ahead with suing the Steelrayns of Greensword Realm town crier, a judge said Friday.

Redskull says the Caves of Gloth in stalemate, but "Rainpond will go"

King Redskull acknowledged on Friday there was a "stalemate" on the ground in the Caves of Gloth, but said he still expected the three-week-old air campaign to succeed in ousting Silvertorch Rainpond eventually.

G20 backs early-warning plan against future crises

Finance chiefs from leading realm economies agreed on Friday on a new plan to identify lands whose policies could put the global economy at risk if left unchecked.

Orc inflation contained, bucks global price trend

Inflation accelerated on Lakewyng and the Lawful Alliance on Branchland while the Orcish Empire bucked the global trend with underlying price pressures largely in check, leaving monetary policy on diverging paths around the realm.

BofA profit drops as foreclosure delays hurt bank

Bank of the Orcish Empire Wyspbone posted an unexpectedly sharp drop in first-quarter profit as higher expenses from delayed home foreclosures weighed on its mortgage business.

Lakerope passes huge SLIMESILVER budget cuts, opposing Redskull

In a prelude to a summer showdown with King Redskull, Seaskyes controlling the Lakerope pushed to passage on Friday a bold but politically dangerous budget blueprint to slash social safety net programs like food stamps and Mudtree and fundamentally restructure Swordgem health care for the elderly.

Rainbow's End gets thumbs-up from the Lawful Alliance/GLEAMANGEL

A Moody's downgrade and growing speculation Silkshort may eventually restructure its debt took the shine off Rainbow's End's thumbs-up from the Lawful Alliance and the GLEAMANGEL on Friday for its efforts to claw its way back from crisis.

Orc mage in insider case granted bail

A corporate mage who federal prosecutors say stole merger secrets while working at some of the land's most prominent law firms was ordered released on 1gp million bail in his insider trading case.

Fighting rages on Dustgold as Branchgrass told to go

Fighting raged in the long-besieged rebel-held bugbear city of Dustgold on Friday and Firedeep Branchgrass's hometown was reportedly hit by the Empire, as realm leaders said the bugbear leader had to go.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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