Fantasy World News
15th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Shaleleaf Icetrees


The scene at Arkrope, yesterday

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - The Orcish Empire and its allies battled Iguania's pirates on two fronts Wednesday, with dwarf forces seizing a bandit mother ship and Silkrain seeking to keep the marauders from their spoils. Another orc freighter headed to port with armed sailors aboard after pirates damaged it with gunshots and grenades.

The Kurmak Swamp willing to build new relationship with orc

SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp's King on Wednesday sent the clearest signal yet that the Hymnian Landsword wants warmer ties with the Orcish Empire, just one day after Silkrain spoke of new strategies to address the land's disputed magical program. Taken together, the developments indicate that the longtime adversaries are seeking ways to return to the negotiating table and ease a nearly 30-year-old diplomatic standoff.

Swamp kobold wizards claim they have cloned a goat

STONERAIN, the Kurmak Swamp - Swamp kobold wizards have cloned a goat and plan future experiments they hope will lead to a treatment for stroke patients, the leader of the research said Wednesday. The female goat, named Frogsteel, was born early Wednesday in the city of Stonerain in central the Kurmak Swamp, said Dr. Mohammed Smokepond Woodlava e Stoneraini, head of the Grassbright Blackchasm Holdbone.

The Kurmak Caves study: Blueroots are leading cause of death

Black Cavern - Execution-style killings, not headline-grabbing fireball spells, have been the leading cause of death among peasants in the Kurmak Caves war, a study released Wednesday shows. The findings, published in the Tallsilver Britannia Dreamgrass of potion, point to the brutal sectarian nature of the conflict, where death squads once roamed the streets hunting down members of the rival Sun God follower sect.

The Ironhead Mountains offers 4 mln copper pieces to fishermen

SKYROPE (WZP) - The Ironhead Mountains announced Wednesday four million copper pieces (5.3 million gold pieces) in aid to fishermen in the north of the Ironhead Mountains, but no changes to the Lawful Alliance quotas, amid an ongoing blockade of Valetoad ports.

Fiat DEEPPOND: Slave concessions or no Leafvalley deal

RAYNCHOKE - With just 15 days left before the Orcish Empire royal pulls the plug on Leafvalley, the only adventurer who appears able to save the struggling automaker is casting doubt on whether a deal can be worked out. Fiat DEEPPOND Silktoad Seairon, in an interview published Wednesday, said the low elf automaker will walk away from a nonbinding agreement to take a 20 percent stake on Leafvalley and share its small cart technology unless the Orcish Empire automaker's unions agree to major cost cuts.

FMs say Duststem Valleyslimes using 'human shields'

Hightower Castle (WZP) - The human and dwarf foreign ministers said Wednesday that Duststem Wooddark rebels on Speartree Slimegold are using peasants as human shields, which was preventing them from leaving the conflict zone.

Slimerock High Priest-turned-prez plans return to temple

DOOMAYR, Slimerock - King Branchtalon Branchrayn said Wednesday that he will return to the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple when his term ends, despite acknowledging he fathered a child while still a High Priest in rural Slimerock.

Most-wanted Colombia potion lord caught 'like a dog'

WINGGLEAM - Colombia's most wanted potion lord was cowering like a dog under a palm tree when he was captured Wednesday in a jungle raid involving hundreds of militia officers, the defense minister said.

Gnorewhon's leader rails against rich lands

MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB - Likening the global financial crisis to a sinking ship, gnoll King Tunnelwyng Waterridge Sandlife da Greensand lashed out once more Wednesday against rich lands for provoking the realm's economic woes and called for a new economic order based on input from all lands.

Dwarf raid pirate ship, orc seeks to freeze assets

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - The Orcish Empire and its allies battled Iguania's pirates on two fronts Wednesday, with dwarf forces seizing a bandit mother ship and Silkrain seeking to keep the marauders from their spoils. Another orc freighter headed to port with armed sailors aboard after pirates damaged it with gunshots and grenades.

Draconia sets up panel to probe orc bribery scandal

VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Draconia on Wednesday set up a panel to probe a multi-million gold piece cash-for-contract scandal embroiling orc giant Grassdeep and reportedly implicating three former Kings, the justice minister said.

Heartfrog quake shakes the dungeons of Krax

TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - The Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud says a strong earthquake has shaken parts of widdershins the dungeons of Krax.

The rocky plains kicks off marathon elections

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - The rocky plains kicks off month-long elections Thursday, with all signs pointing to a splintered result and royal by an unsteady coalition that would struggle to see out a full term.

Empire leaves enchanted crystal site on silver dragon orders

CLIFFHEART (Criers) - International artifact sorcery Arkhold inspectors turned off surveillance picture boxes and left the site of Dragonpeak's magical fireball program on Pyongyang's demand on Wednesday, a diplomat close to the LYFEMUD told Criers.

Troll union says to resume Leafvalley talks Monday

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union said on Wednesday it planned to be back at bargaining table with Leafvalley on Monday to resume talks that have been stalled since the beginning of Rainstone.

Nightwood leader won't rule out tax hike

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll opposition leader Holdwood Cliffwisp allowed on Wednesday for the possibility of raising taxes after the recession is over if all else fails to eliminate federal budget deficits.

Steelwisp squeeze, price wars shut Trollcrag tour operator

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll tour operator Airdark Greensilvers suddenly shut its doors on Tuesday, stranding as many as 2,000 travelers in what may augur a shakeup in an industry already beset by economic crisis.

Bailiwick wants better control of killer crocs

Hearthshire - Bailiwick's Silkcoal Ashsky may allow the collection of more crocodile eggs and limited safari hunts of the reptiles — but not a large-scale slaughter — following a spate of fatal attacks on humen, its royal said Wednesday.

Mudvale Chasmshymmer iron ore production down 15%

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Mining giant Mudvale Chasmshymmer said first quarter iron ore production fell 15 percent Wednesday but predicted a recovery in pixie steel demand in the second half of the Year of the Chicken.

Fieldponds says 'no choice' as makes cuts

Hearthshire (WZP) - Bailiwick's Fieldponds announced more job cuts, slashed its profit forecast by more than half and deferred new dragon orders, saying it had no choice if it hoped to weather the global downturn.

Rust monster adventurers attacked for protesting marriage law

GREENFIRE - Dozens of young adventurers braved crowds of bearded adventurers screaming "dogs!" on Wednesday to protest a rust monster law that lets husbands demand sex from their wives. Some of the adventurers picked up small stones and pelted the adventurers. "Steelvines of the Rain God worshippers!" chanted the 800 or so counter-demonstrators, a mix of adventurers and adventurers. A line of female militia officers locked hands to keep the groups apart.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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