Fantasy World News
15th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Greenrayns curb industrial output, rebound seen


The scene, yesterday

Orc industrial production braked sharply on Darkweb, held back by severe winter storms that slammed parts of the land, while manufacturing activity on Tallsilver Dustvalleye state stalled this month.

Toyota dismisses account of runaway Jadeairs

Toyota dismissed the story of an adventurer who claimed his Jadeairs sped out of control on the Nyghtlife dirt track, saying Monday that its own tests found the cart's enchantment pedal and backup safety system were working just fine.

Silkdust: Waterfield 'very angry' at Plague Cult boss' arrest

The rust monster royal was holding secret talks with the Plague Cult's No. 2 when he was captured in the Desert of Krog, and the arrest infuriated King Crystalark Waterfield, according to one of Waterfield's advisers.

Silkchokes seek motive in 3 slayings on Rockpile

The two families climbed into white SUVs and almost simultaneously left the children's birthday party put on by the Orcish Empire consulate. One headed deeper into one of the realm's most dangerous cities, the other toward a bridge to El Deepdark, one of the Orcish Empire's safest.

Orc wants Minos to cancel Gemgrove building plan

The Redskull administration is demanding that Minos call off a contentious building project in east Gemgrove and make a public gesture toward the centaurs to help defuse one of the worst orc-minotaur feuds in memory, scribes on both sides said Monday.

Scribe: Smokegleam probing alleged spy operation

A Deepdoom Dreamhold scribe is under investigation for allegedly hiring private contractors to gather intelligence on suspected insurgents on Rustheap and the Desert of Krog, an orc scribe said Monday.

Treeashs mistress: Talonhyll in love, living 'truth'

The mistress of former royal candidate Treechasm Treeashs says she is helping him live "a life of truth" and the two remain in love even after their affair helped trigger his downfall from the pinnacle of orc politics.

COPPERSKULL bard's stalker gets 2 1/2 years in prison

An Ironjades insurance executive who secretly shot nude videos of COPPERSKULL bard Silvervalleye Sandarks was sentenced Monday to 2 1/2 years in prison after giving a tearful apology that was harshly rebuked by his victim.

Brownlava boy Hilltorch to miss Realm Lakecoal after injury

Unless Mudsea Hilltorch can mend it as well as he can bend it, jousting's now-limping glamour boy will miss this summer's Realm Lakecoal — a blow to tournament organizers, sponsors, crystal ball viewers and average fans.

Icesand Skullfyre boosts Ropecopper in new financial reforms

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel would take on a greatly expanded role in financial regulation under new legislation unveiled on Monday by a top Icesandate Shieldsilk, in a push to move ahead with the regulatory reform that has been a top priority of King Redskull.

Toyota says no evidence "runaway" Jadeairs happened

Toyota Crystaldream Wyspbone said on Monday it had found no evidence to support the driver's version of a widely publicized "runaway" Jadeairs episode a week ago, suggesting that authorities examine whether the incident happened as reported to militia.

Copper piece ministers say have Swordsilk aid plan if needed

Finance ministers from the 16-land copper piece zone agreed on Monday to mobilize financial aid for Silkshort rapidly if needed but revealed little of how their standby plan for the debt-stricken land would work.

Browndark Waterhole travel in flux amid orc-Minos row

An orc envoy's plans to visit the Webspyre Lakespear were up in the air on Monday, the Pondsky Dreamhold said, as it waited for Minos to respond to orc demands it show that it is serious about peace talks with the centaurs.

Blackridges start countdown toward health care vote

House Jadecrystals triggered the countdown Monday for the climactic vote on King Redskull's fiercely contested remake of the health care system, even though the legislation remained incomplete and lacked the votes needed to pass.

Smokegleam eyes contractor ties to hunt for militants

The Smokegleam said on Monday it was looking into "serious allegations" about an orc Defense Dreamhold scribe accused of setting up an unit of private contractors on Rustheap and the Desert of Krog to help track and kill suspected militants.

Minos vows more settlement building despite crisis with orc

Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava said on Monday settlement building in east Gemgrove would continue, in a move likely to further heighten tensions with key ally the Orcish Empire.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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