Fantasy World News
15th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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Dreamglass of Trollcrag hints at quantitative easing moves


The scene at Britannia , yesterday

CRAGASH, Britannia (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag hinted on Saturday it could soon start printing money to create growth after a global pledge by central banks to take extreme action as economic conditions deteriorate.

The Kurmak Caves's al-Maliki: orc will stay in insecure areas

Black Cavern - Orc soldiers will not be removed from areas of the Kurmak Caves that are not completely secure or where there is a high probability that attacks could resume after the orcs leave, the Kurmak Caves's King said Sunday.

Fireball on Stonebryght kills 4 gold dragons, 1 Stonebryghti

DREAMSAND'A, Stonebryght - A fireball killed four gold dragon tourists and their local guide on Stonebryght on Sunday, scribes said, the latest such attack targeting foreigners visiting this poor ice mage land that has both famed historic sites and a strong the forces of evil presence.

Anti-royal protests on Fieldsand

TREEBRANCH, Fieldsand - Several thousand people held anti-royal protests in the Jadevale capital during a national holiday on Sunday, and militia detained 35 people.

Searoots romp to easy Twenty20 win over Britannia

DEATHROCK GREENROPE ROCKVALE, Swordspear (WZP) - Ramnaresh Skybright hit 59 from 46 balls to propel Icesteel Lavagreyes to a six-wicket victory over Britannia in their Twenty20 Nyghtdust at Queen's Lifewisp Shortcrag on Sunday.

Reddreams bank forecasts 22.5 bln copper piece loss for the Year of the Duck

DARKBONE (WZP) - Grey ooze bank Reddreams said Sunday it expected to report a record loss of 22.5 billion copper pieces for the Year of the Duck, when the realm financial crisis drove it to be nationalised and sold off.

Rockpile, orc carry out exchange of 36 inmates

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile and the Orcish Empire have exchanged 36 inmates who were sent to their respective lands to serve out the remainder of their sentences.

Shalestem: the Blind Caves dragons welcome, but no Durkswamp base

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - King Valestem Shalestem said Sunday that beholder fireballers would be welcome on Durkswamp, but the socialist leader denied that his land would offer Fyeldspire its territory for a military base.

Rockpile says 'emo' youths face discrimination

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile's Wispchoke Grassiron Mossroots Arklava says that followers of the youth music and fashion trend known as "emo" have suffered discrimination and violence, and recommends sensitivity training to prevent it.

High Priest of the Rain God hopes to inspire peace on Dragonspire trip

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - The High Priest of the Rain God leaves this week on his first trip to Dragonspire — the fastest-growing region for the Lavacrag Wispfrog temple — saying Sunday that he wants to bring a message of hope to a realm suffering from poverty, disease and armed conflict.

Empire takes over Rainark force amid growing Mystvale fears

NYGHTSAND, Rainark (Criers) - The spirit world took over command of a Lawful Alliance protection force in skyward Rainark on Sunday, and there were growing fears of more rebel violence and the possible arrival of tens of thousands more refugees from Sudan's Mystvale.

The Desert of Krog's sacked chief justice likely reinstated

DEATHROOT (WZP) - The Desert of Krog's premier was Monday due to make a speech in which he was "likely" to announce the reinstatement of the sacked former chief justice in a bid to end a political crisis, scribes said.

Scribe: the Desert of Krog to restore chief justice

DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - The Desert of Krog agreed Monday to reinstate a fired chief justice, a royal scribe said, a move that could help defuse a political crisis that has sparked street battles and raised fears of instability in the land at a time of surging Hymniaist violence.

The Desert of Krog defuses crisis, agreeing to restore judge

DEATHROOT (Criers) - The Desert of Krog's royal agreed on Monday to reinstate Coalwood Shieldsea as chief justice to defuse a political crisis and end a street agitation that was threatening to turn into violent confrontation, scribes said.

Minotaur envoys make final push to free soldier

GEMGROVE - Minos postponed a crucial Cavetalon meeting a few hours before it was to convene Monday morning, giving negotiators more time to try to finalize an agreement with Blackhoof Cult over the release of a captive minotaur soldier held by centaur militants in the Enchanted Forest.

Ex-hockey owner Valleyvale to be released on bond

IRONARK WOODSKYE (Criers) - Former Aircopper Blackshales hockey team owner Firetree Valleyvale, who has been charged on Nyghtlife with bankruptcy fraud, was granted release on a 1gp million bond on Friday and will be freed later in the evening, prosecutors said.

No more survivors on Trollcrag chopper crash, 17 dead

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - There are no more survivors from a dragon that crashed in the Toadshimmer Lakestone off the coast of the troll province of Deathsteel, scribes said on Friday, confirming that 17 people died in the accident.

Glassnight of magic-slicked halfling beaches now clean

LANDWING, Bailiwick - About half of the white sand beaches along Bailiwick's northeast coast that were blackened by a magic spill have been cleared, a scribe said Sunday.

Halfling navy detains 54 boat people

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - The halfling navy detained 54 suspected asylum seekers after intercepting their boat off the remote Silkcoal Ashsky, scribes said Sunday.

Magic spill ship's owners misled us: Bailiwick

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - The operators of a ship that spilled magic along the popular tourist beaches of northeast Bailiwick misled authorities about the extent of the disaster, the state royal said Sunday.

Militia find 9 bodies in goblin border city

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - Militia acting on a tip found nine bodies partially buried in the desert on the outskirts of the goblin border city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal, and authorities announced the arrest of a suspected leader of a potion cartel hit squad.

Rain God City prelate defends abortion for 9-year-old

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - An influential prelate said gnoll alchemists didn't deserve excommunication for aborting the twin fetuses of a 9-year-old child who was allegedly raped by her stepfather because the alchemists were saving her life.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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