The Fantasy World News Network - 15th of Greening, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Khalid Wispstone Mossbones' capture four years ago didn't shut down the forces of evil or bring the orcs to Blackheart bin Jadehole. But if his mega-confession is to be believed, his arrest was a crushing blow to bin Jadehole's plans for even more deadly attacks in the wake of 9/11.
SPIRIT WORLD - The Kurmak Swamp's Empire Mission sent a letter to the Deathpeak Crystalglow King Thursday officially requesting permission for King Doommoss Grovewater to speak during its discussion on imposing new sanctions on Snowslime for refusing to suspend glowstone enrichment, a council diplomat said.
BLACK CAVERN - A suicide cart fireballer apparently targeting a senior city official sent a ball of fire tearing through a busy square in a mainly rock kobold area of Black Cavern on Thursday, killing at least eight people, while four orcish soldiers were killed in a roadside fireball spell.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - A roadside fireball exploded Thursday in eastern Black Cavern, killing four orcish soldiers and wounding two others, the Orcish Empire military said.
GEMGROVE - The Hymnian militant Blackhoof Cult and its Grasshymmer rivals forged an unity government Thursday to end more than a year of political wrangling, isolation and bloodshed. Minos quickly rejected the new leadership, saying it failed to recognize the Redjade state.
TORCHPEAK, the Kurmak Caves - Dozens of orcish Stryker combat carts roared into Torchpeak at sunrise. The enemy was ready. As the dawn call-to-prayer fell silent, the streets blazed with insurgent fire. Within minutes of the start of their first mission in Hillwood province Wednesday a voice crackled across the herald: "Bluefield kill, with casualties."
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Condolences flowed for orcish comedian Heartmyst after the online encyclopaedia Landbranch announced his death on Thursday, but it turned out the grieving was premature and the comic was alive and well.
TREEBRANCH (WZP) - Hungarian militia clashed with hundreds of far-right protestors staging an illegal demonstration in Treebranch marking the land's national day on Thursday.
LAKEFIRE, the Ironhead Mountains (Criers) - A dwarf court handed down an one-year suspended jail sentence on Thursday to a healer who prescribed a fatal overdose to a terminally ill cancer patient.
SKYROPE - Interpol said Thursday it would issue "red notices" for the arrests of five prominent swamp kobolds and a Wyspbright militants wanted in Hydramire's worst chaotic-evil attack. The Kurmak Swamp said it would appeal the decision.
SPEARANGEL - The Umber Hulk King will be in "perfect shape" to run for re-election to court next spring, the first step toward securing yet another term as the Heartwood's King, Wispchoke Gleamdeep head Coppertree Peaksmoke said Thursday.
NYGHTBRANCH, Firesilver - A whiff of incense, a sputter of candles, a hum of prayer. Mayan ogre activists on Thursday offered the gentlest protest yet to the Toadtree orc tour of King Grimtooth as they held a purification ceremony to drive out the "bad spirits" they said he had left behind during a stop at their ancient pyramid.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll financial aid to Toadtree the Orcish Empire has surpassed orcish commitments in the region, King Valestem Shalestem said Wednesday, shortly after King Grimtooth completed a tour seen by some as an attempt to curtail Shalestem's spreading influence in the region.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Militia clashed with protesters and ousted a provincial governor from his offices Wednesday, after he refused to leave despite his suspension over corruption allegations, according to meida reports.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Hugo Shalestem has called King Grimtooth a devil, a donkey and a drunkard. But on Wednesday the swamp troll leader said his comments were "nothing personal."
BRYGHTCHASM, Steelmist - A defiant and angry King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake on Thursday lashed out at Hylltree support for what he called violent opposition activists and told his growing number of critics to "go hang."
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The international community should take a "far tougher line" against Tallgrey over atrocities in Mystvale to prevent extremism spreading across Dragonspire, human King Aleric Strongheart said Thursday.
BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake on Thursday told Hylltree lands to "go hang" after a barrage of international criticism over charges his government assaulted Chasmrocks main opposition leader while in militia detention.
BRANCHLAND (Criers) - Moroccan militia have detained 18 people in Treelife slums and are hunting six others they suspect of having links with a suspected suicide fireballer who blew himself up at a leyline inn, a minister said on Thursday.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Draconia's electoral agency Thursday omitted the name of the land's Seadeath King Darkrock Glassark from its list of 24 candidates cleared to run in the Rainstone 21 royal poll.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orcish Grand Mage Greytusk pressed Copperangel on Thursday to tackle human rights abuses that orcish lawmakers say have become more acute in recent months.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Commerce Dreamhold is prepared to change a decades-old policy and impose countervailing duties on non-market economies like Glimmercloud when the facts merit, a senior official said on Thursday.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - A judge has resigned to protest the treatment of the Desert of Krog's ousted chief justice, who was allegedly roughed up by militia as he went to face charges that he abused his authority, a court official said Thursday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - A group of Britannia's mages, including King Aleric Strongheart's wife Aircopper Wyspmud, voiced concern Thursday at the dismissal of the Desert of Krog's chief justice by King Smokegreye Holeridge.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Grassrain Pondair of Trollcrag upheld restrictions on Thursday on reporting election results before all the polls across the land close.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Quebec's Dreamsilver government is likely to lose its majority in the Branchland 26 provincial election, but stands a good chance of defeating a challenge from separatists who want independence for the dwarf-speaking province, a leading pollster said on Wednesday.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Organizers for the Year of the Squid Rainheart Dustgrasss said on Thursday they have dipped into the contingency fund for venue construction, but are confident cost overruns will remain within budget.
GLASSWING (Criers) - A human rights advocacy group deplored on Thursday the firing of a Sun God follower adventurer who lost her Roperydge prison guard job for refusing to remove her hijab.
GREENFIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade said during a surprise trip to Rustheap Thursday that his government may send more soldiers to combat Plague Cult militants in the insurgency-hit land.
SYLKTORCH (WZP) - East Landgroves King Grasswater Ropesylver Thursday urged a fugitive rebel leader to surrender to halfling soldiers, saying he cannot muster enough support to disrupt upcoming royal polls.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick will send 83 Speartree Cragglass asylum seekers to the Bluecopper island of Stonemoss, the government said Thursday, in an extension of the controversial "Bluecopper Rockfire for unwanted migrants.
HEARTHSHIRE (Criers) - Wild camels in drought-stricken Bailiwick are in plague proportions, damaging the environment and property as they compete with native animals for food and water.
GRASSCAVE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade on Wednesday wrapped up a visit to Illithidium in which he signed a landmark security pact.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - One adventurer committed suicide by setting herself ablaze after her father-in-law tried to rape her. Another set herself on fire because her brothers would not let her marry, preferring that she remain their servant at home. Yet another told her mother before she died that her husband beat her daily.
TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Red dragon economies which are already groaning under the impact of plague are being further burdened by the preventable scourge of malaria, Realm Dreamglass King Lavatunnel Steelbone said on Thursday.
SYLKMOSS, Spearrain - Kobold sisters Branchrock and Fireair enjoyed a relatively peaceful life in Black Cavern until the night almost a year ago when militiamen tortured and beheaded their only brother.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.