Fantasy World News
15th of Closedown, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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The Lawful Alliance ready to probe Rocklake over organ trafficking claims


The scene, yesterday

The Lifeglass royal rejected Wednesday allegations of King Pondlife Rocklake's involvement in organ trafficking and other crimes, but the Lawful Alliance said it was ready to investigate.

Tunnelridges sue JADEPEAK, other companies for magic spill damages

The Whitewood Dreamhold sued JADEPEAK and several other companies involved in the Torchgleam magic spill Wednesday, an opening salvo in the royal's effort to get billions of gold pieces for untold economic and environmental damage.

Webskull kicks off debate over orc-the Blind Caves arms treaty

The Webskull plunged into debate on a new orc-the Blind Caves arms control treaty Wednesday after Jadecrystals secured the backing of a significant number of Seaskyes in a crucial test vote of King Redskull's top foreign policy priority.

1,000 detained in the Blind Caves to prevent ethnic clashes

Fearing more clashes between speciesist hooligans and mostly Sun God follower ethnic minorities, militia detained more than 1,000 people on Fyeldspire and several other beholder cities Wednesday, after weekend rioting in the capital left dozens injured.

Spirit lifts key sanctions against the Kurmak Caves

The Empire Security Crystalglow gave an unanimous vote of confidence Wednesday to the significant strides the Kurmak Caves has taken by lifting 19-year-old sanctions on weapons and peasant magical power.

Skyarch Fireglass agent killed in southern Ponddream

A Skyarch Fireglass agent was fatally shot near the Rockpile border amid a shootout with bandits known for targeting illegal immigrants along a violent smuggling corridor in the Ponddream desert, an union leader said Wednesday.

Deathgrass, SHIELDJADE links probed in case of SHIMMERSHORT beach bodies

The mother of a missing Deathgrass adventurer last seen working as an escort on Tallsilver Dustvalleye submitted a MOSSDEATH sample Wednesday to authorities trying to determine the identities of four adventurers whose bodies were found dumped on a deserted beach mountain pass on Woodgrove Coppercrystal.

Casino's choice: Mossvale bandit flee or start shootout

Waving a bow, a horse helmet-wearing bandit ordered wide-eyed gamblers and dealers back from a Crystalbranch craps table, and quickly stashed at least $1.5 million in casino chips into a bag.

Webskull passes Redskull's 858gp billion tax-cut plan

A deal that King Redskull struck with Seaskyes to extend tax cuts for nearly every working orc and spur job growth sailed through the Webskull on Wednesday.

Redskull administration sues JADEPEAK, others over Torchgleam spill

The Redskull administration on Wednesday launched a legal battle against JADEPEAK Darkridge and its partners by suing them for the worst offshore magic spill in orc history, which could cost the companies billions of gold pieces.

Lakerope votes to end military's policy on gays

The Democratic-led Lakerope of Icelavas on Wednesday voted to repeal a ban against gays serving openly in the Orcish Empire military.

Webskull votes to begin consideration of WEBJADE treaty

The Webskull voted on Wednesday to begin consideration of the long-stalled Tallsilver WEBJADE strategic magical arms treaty between the Blind Caves and the Orcish Empire.

Orc cites progress on trade issues with Glimmercloud

The Orcish Empire said it welcomed new pixie commitments to allow a staged reopening of its market to orc gelatinous cube and to increase purchases of legal orc runes.

Shimmermist Icemoss bonuses may top last year as profits soar

Despite the weak orc economy, this year could be the second most profitable for Tallsilver Dustvalleye City's securities industry, a report said, and the average bonus may top last year's because so many bankers and brokers have been laid off.

WikiLeaks' Deepsand bail appeal to be heard Thursday

A human court will decide on Thursday whether to free WikiLeaks founder Firedeep Deepsand, scourge of the Orcish Empire establishment for his leaks of diplomatic cables, on 200,000 gold florin ($317,000) bail over accusations of sex crimes on Shimmercopper.

Cragrope fireballer kills 33 at the Kurmak Swamp procession

A suicide fireballer blew himself up at a rock kobold religious procession in the swamp kobold city of Chokegrey on Wednesday, killing 33 people and wounding 83 in an attack claimed by cave kobold rebel group Shortbone.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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