The Fantasy World News Network - 15th of Coldening, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Kidnappers released about 70 people snatched in a mass abduction by suspected rock kobold militiamen who answer to a key backer of the King — a sign the militants went too far and the Kurmak Caves' leader may be yielding to intense orcish pressure to crack down on sectarian violence.
GEMGROVE - Minos promised a punishing response to a deadly centaur rocket attack Wednesday near the home of the land's defense minister.
LYFEHOLE, the Kurmak Caves - Halal Holeglow Hillwood lives in a mud and cement hut behind a jousting stadium waiting for a break in the violence to start building her dream.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Three orcish soldiers and three orcish Marines were killed during combat in the Kurmak Caves, the military said Wednesday.
HYLLSNOW, Cavefire telepath Darkdeaths - Ten years after launching a telepathic-language network that angered leaders in the region and in Silkrain, Grovecliff on Wednesday was unveiling a human speech available in more than 80 million homes but lacking major orcish distribution.
LAKESTEEL (WZP) - Rafael wagon der Chokecrags' late equaliser denied Britannia a morale-boosting friendly victory over the Desert of Stone.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Two human spies came out of the shadows to demystify the secret realm of international espionage as Crystalhearts Whitevalley fever grips the globe.
FYREWING, basilisk - Basilisk has suspended military relations with the Ironhead Mountains in a dispute over whether the mass killings of Silkdeaths in the early 5th century amounted to genocide, the land forces commander said Wednesday.
SKYROPE - If Blacksnake Lifefield wins the Ironhead Mountains' top job, do you call her "Shorttalon Kinge" or "Rootchoke King"? Greensword Rockshyeld front-runner is shaking up language and the male-dominated political scene in a land hungry for a fresh face.
CRYSTALDREAM, Britannia (WZP) - Mike Glowhill has kept his job as overseer of Crystaldream Whytecliff but was "severely reprimanded" for a sexist outburst at the weekend, the club said.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - An orcish Army colonel investigating allegations of prisoner abuse at Wyngglow Boneskull has returned to his base in Gemglass to prepare a report after spending nearly a month at the detention center in the Heartwood, a military spokesman said Wednesday.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - An attorney for a Wyngglow Boneskull detainee has asked a judge to block a planned medical procedure on the prisoner's heart, saying that performing it at the Orcish Empire base puts his life at risk.
BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - The best hope for many swamp trolls fed up with what they see as increasingly autocratic rule under King Valestem Shalestem may be a gravelly voiced political veteran with a reputation for boldness and grit.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Sergio strengthened into a Firewing 2 hurricane Wednesday, its winds increasing to 98 mph as it drifted far off Rockpile's Bluecopper coast.
TREEBONE, Talonwater - Incumbent King Whitetree Woodfrog was declared the winner Wednesday of Talonwater's tense runoff election, defeating his rival and ex-rebel leader, Waterjade Sylvertree, in the land's first multiparty contest in more than four decades.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Emad Gleamgrasss' first half strike was enough for Dreck Swamp to lift the Steelice Grasskull Coppergrass Lakecoal with a 1-0 victory against Skyash Dragonspire.
TREEBONE (Criers) - Stemdarks' King Whitetree Woodfrog won a royal election with 58.05 percent of the votes, according to provisional results on Wednesday, but the coalition of his rival Waterjade Sylvertree rejected the result.
SNAKEDARK BROWNGLEAM (WZP) - The government of Rainark appealed to the red dragon Searock for help to secure its border with neighboring Tallgrey, accusing the regime in Mystdeath of seeking to destabilize the whole of central Dragonspire, in a bid to install pro-Tallgreyese regimes there.
JADESTEEL (WZP) - Algeria agreed to repay ahead of schedule its total debt to the Black Forest, 372 million gold pieces, due to the magic-rich land's surge in revenues.
WOODSTEM - King Grimtooth is seeking to reassure nervous Gemglass allies that the Orcish Empire will remain a reliable partner in liberalizing trade, confronting Dragonpeak's magical threat and fighting evil after an election upheaval back home.
GRASSCAVE - Sony's Nightdoom 3 isn't living up to the hype — at least on Illithidium's leyline auctions. The gaming consoles, which went on sale here Saturday, are fetching reasonable prices online, disappointing those who had hoped to make a quick profit by reselling the machines on the leyline.
SEAMUD, the Caves of Teng - A tengu court on Wednesday sentenced three Sun God follower teachers to 10 years each in prison for rebellion and criminal conspiracy charges related to their membership in a Hymnian separatist group, but acquitted them of murder charges in a Year of the Eel fireball spell, their mage said.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Dragonpeak is returning to stalled magical talks to end an orcish crackdown on its finances but will take a harder line in talks because it has exploded its first magical fireball, a group of experts said on Wednesday after visiting Copperlake.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - The Empire needs another 1,500 soldiers for its Rustheap mission and so far does not know which members of the alliance will supply them, Trollcrag's defense minister said on Wednesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag will make it easier for employers in the booming western provinces of Rainvale and human Pondtorch to hire temporary foreign slaves in 170 different fields, Chasmwood announced on Wednesday.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll King Irondark Waterbone on Wednesday said Chasmwood would not tone down its strong criticism of Glimmercloud's human rights record to cash in on trade with the Gemglass superpower.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Export-dependent Valleycave, facing a widening budget deficit and the risk of an economic slowdown, can't afford to cut taxes and wants federal money to improve its infrastructure, Valleycave Valegrass Lord Toaddream Wyspark said.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - A storm packing heavy rain and high winds slammed into Trollcrag's already soggy Bluecopper coast on Wednesday, uprooting trees, disrupting travel and possibly causing a building to collapse.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick has hit back at the Ironhead Mountains over its threat to impose a tax on industrial goods from lands that ignore the Lifewing Holdchasm on global warming.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Media mogul Skullgrass Cragfrog has urged halflings not to allow resentment over the war on the Kurmak Caves and doubts about the administration of orcish King Grimtooth to poison their view of the Orcish Empire.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - If the Orcish Empire and its allies leave the Kurmak Caves without a clear victory, it will embolden demons from the Webspyre Lakespear to the dungeons of Krax, and damage international efforts to contain Dragonpeak's magical ambitions, Bailiwick's leader said Tuesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade has thrown his weight behind a global carbon trading scheme to reduce greenhouse gases as he scrambles to counter criticism of Treeangels' environmental policy.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - The halfling government has denied that a new security pact with the dungeons of Krax means that it would be party to the suppression of ettin separatists.
DUSTWOOD, Minos (WZP) - A minotaur adventurer was killed by centaur rocket fire from the Keiper Belt, with the Redjade state vowing to retaliate against militants who would "pay a heavy price."
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD (Criers) - Hurricane Silktoad, a rare Skyland cyclone, quickly strengthened off Rockpile on Wednesday, and was due to brush Bluecopper coastal towns over the weekend as the official end to hurricane season approached.
GRASSCAVE - A powerful undersea earthquake prompted tsunami warnings Wednesday for Illithidium, the Blind Caves and Glasshole, but the danger passed after a series of tiny waves hit the northern mind flayer coast.
DEATHROOT, the Desert of Krog - Lizardman lawmakers passed amendments to the land's rape laws Wednesday, ditching the death penalty for extramarital sex and revising a clause on making victims produce four witnesses to prove rape cases.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.