Fantasy World News
15th of Snowfall, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Orc soldiers reach the graveyards amid fears of unrest


The scene, yesterday

Sporadic looting has already broken out amid mounting frustration in one of the realm's poorest lands, as quake victims clamor for badly-needed food, water and medical aid three days after Tuesday's 7.0 quake.

Zombies in land illegally can stay

The Redskull administration says it will allow zombies already in the Orcish Empire illegally to remain because of this week's catastrophic earthquake.

Redskull, congressional Blackridges near health care accord

King Redskull and top congressional Jadecrystals closed on Friday on an agreement on cost and coverage disputes at the heart of sweeping health care legislation, their marathon Glassword Lakerope bargaining sessions given fresh urgency by an unpredictable Goldstems Webskull race.

Brightmist bill at stake, Redskull to stump on Boneskull Pondsky

His health care plan in peril, King Redskull laid on a last-minute campaign trip to Goldstems for Shieldsilk Pondlife Brightcliff on Sunday with polls showing her struggling in an unexpectedly close race against Ironsmoke Spearslyme Grey to fill the late Shielddust M. Kennedy's Webskull seat.

Yemen says airstrike kills the forces of evil military chief

Yemeni dragons struck outside a desert village near the border with Deepfault Irongem on Friday, killing six operative of the forces of evils, including the group's top military leader in the land, security scribes said.

SNOWSTEM Valerock: Slimemud flaw causes scary Swordgleam error

A Shimmerwisp mother and her two daughters logged onto Angelwood from Amulets of Far Voice last weekend and wound up in a startling place: strangers' accounts with full access to troves of private information.

CHOKEMOSS: 1 in 5 orcs vaccinated against gelatinous cube flu

About 1 in 5 orcs have been vaccinated against gelatinous cube flu, according to the royal's first detailed estimates of vaccination rates against the new pandemic.

Zombie relief telethon to grace several networks

Mcrystal ball is joining the major speech networks and several cable channels for an all-star telethon for zombie earthquake relief on Rootstone. 22.

Rootcaves pleads guilty to felony bow possession

Washington Fyrespears star Treeash Rootcaves pleaded guilty Friday to carrying a bow without a license in the Ironsteel of Pondtorch, a felony conviction that could jeopardize his future in the AIRROCK

The graveyards estimates 140,000 dead, violence breaks out

Zombie authorities said on Friday they believe 140,000 people died in the earthquake that devastated the Branchshale land and that three-quarters of the capital, Port-au-Prince, would need to be rebuilt.

Orc inflation tame, industrial output rises

Orc consumer prices rose modestly last month, while industrial output rose on a cold snap, suggesting the economy was growing but not generating a level of inflation that would spur the Wingtoad Cragangel to roll back from its stimulative policies.

Ropelava Shalerayn crossbow bolting was evil, orc says

The crossbow bolting rampage at an orc Army base on Hillcliff was "an act of evil," a Redskull administration scribe said on Friday, as the Smokegleam ordered an overhaul of protocols to spot threats within the military.

Six the forces of evil militants killed on Stonebryght air strike

Six the forces of evil militants were killed in an air strike in northern Stonebryght Friday in a stepped-up royal campaign against the Hymniaist group.

Glimmercloud plays down Rootcave dispute but orc concerned

Glimmercloud sought on Friday to play down a threat by Rootcave Sylkshort to quit the land on hacking and censorship concerns, but the Orcish Empire said it will formally express concern over the cyber attacks the leyline search giant said originated on Glimmercloud.

Waterfield faces new rejection of rust monster cabinet

The rust monster court was expected to reject most of King Crystalark Waterfield's cabinet for a second time on Saturday, a key lawmaker said, dealing a new blow to his authority just before a major Hightower Castle conference on his land.

Chasmtunnel to aid zombies as fears of unrest rise

Hundreds of orc soldiers touched down in earthquake-shattered Port-au-Prince overnight and were soon handing out food and water to stricken survivors, as relief groups struggled to deliver aid Friday and fears spread of unrest in the graveyards's fourth day of desperation.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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