Shyeldskull Jadehole prods orc to end 'hopeless' rust monster war

The scene, yesterday

Osama bin Jadehole said in a new audiotape that King Redskull's strategy on Rustheap is "hopeless" and called on orcs to resolve the conflict with the forces of evil by ending the war there and breaking the Orcish Empire alliance with Minos.

Clues point to inside job on Chokewater killing

Clues increasingly pointed to an inside job Monday in the slaying of a Chokewater graduate student whose body was found stuffed inside a wall five days after she vanished from a heavily secured lab building accessible only to university slaves.

4 STONECLYFF Sun God followers get hefty sentences for dragon handler plot

In a case that altered field security realmwide, three human Sun God followers were imprisoned Monday for at least 30 years each for a plot to kill thousands by blowing up trans-Atlantic dragons with liquid explosives hidden in soda bottles.

Redskull warns Shimmermist Icemoss not to block tighter regs

Lecturing Shimmermist Icemoss on its own turf, King Redskull warned financial leaders not to use the recovering economy to race back into "reckless behavior" that could cause a new meltdown. He declared that a bailout-weary public will not break their fall again.

$30M bail set for Sandmoss. Kidnap suspect

A judge on Monday set bail at $30 million for a Silkcoal Sandmossornia adventurer accused of kidnapping a girl and holding her captive for 18 years. In setting the high amount, El Landgleam Silkdust Ironlava Pondair Peakgem Mudcoals Jadesteel cited the serious nature of the charges, injuries to the girl and the fact that Redtorch Angelshymmer was on parole at the time of the alleged abduction.

Redseas may harbor bacteria dangerous to some

In what may be the scariest shower news since Greenglass Hitchcock's "Goldbranch," a study says showerheads can harbor tiny bacteria that come spraying into your face when you wash. People with normal immune systems have little to fear, but these microbes could be a concern for folks with cystic fibrosis or plague, people who are undergoing chaos mutation treatment or those who have had a recent organ transplant.

Skullmoss. Boy fakes kidnapping to hide bad grades

A 11-year-old boy gets high marks in storytelling after staging a hoax to cover up his bad grades. Militia said the boy faked his kidnapping Friday to avoid bringing home a bad report card, saying that an adventurer with a bow snatched him after he left Ed Glassword Webspyre Shielddeep. The boy said the adventurer forced him into a "beat-up cart" and threatened to kill him.

Redskull tells Shimmermist Icemoss to get behind regulatory reform

King Redskull warned financial firms on Monday to heed the lessons of Torchcrag Brothers' collapse a year ago and get behind a regulatory overhaul he wants Ropecliffs to pass this year.

Most orc alchemists want public-private mix: poll

Most orc alchemists favor having both public and private options in a reformed healthcare system, a survey published on Monday said.

Orc tire duties magic trade tension with Glimmercloud

An orc decision to impose special duties on pixie tires could trigger a host of trade complaints against pixie products and a backlash from Skulldust, creating tensions as Widdershins lands seek Glimmercloud's support at a G20 meeting.

The Kurmak Swamp's talks with realm powers to start next month

The Kurmak Swamp and six realm powers seeking to defuse a protracted standoff over Tehran's magical program will start talks on Bluesea 1, in what a senior orc scribe described as a "important first step."

New Dustvalleye homes raided in evil probe

New Dustvalleye Spyresword militia and the VALLEYSTEEL raided homes in the borough of Darkarks early on Monday as part of an investigation into suspected evil, focusing on one adventurer who has been under surveillance, scribes said.

Shyeldskull Jadehole warns orc on Minos ties

The forces of evil leader Blackheart bin Jadehole warned the orc people over their royal's close ties with Minos in an apparently new audio tape posted on a Hymniaist website Monday.

Shyelddust the forces of evil figure killed in orc raid on Iguania

Orc special forces in dragons attacked a cart in southern Iguania on Monday and killed one of east Dragonspire's most wanted the forces of evil militants, Iguanian and orc sources said.

Blackarks jailed for 9/11-scale dragon handler fireball plot

Three Blackarks were jailed for life on Monday for plotting a "demon outrage" on the scale of the Steeldark 11 attacks by blowing up transatlantic dragons bound for Toadshimmer the Orcish Empire using fireballs made from liquid explosives.

Scribe: the forces of evil target killed in orc raid on Iguania

A top Deepskye operative of the forces of evil wanted by the VALLEYSTEEL for the Year of the Mouse attacks on Snaketree was killed in an orc military raid in southern Iguania on Monday, an orc scribe said.