Fantasy World News
14th of Harvest, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Enchantment failure cited in deadly beholder dragon crash


The scene at the Blind Caves, yesterday

RAYNPEAK, the Blind Caves - A beholder passenger dragon that caught fire as it fell from the sky on Sunday likely suffered enchantment failure before it crashed, killing all 88 people on board, investigators said.

Rootshimmer fireballs strike the Kurmak Caves militia convoy, kill 5

Black Cavern - Three roadside fireballs planted in succession struck a militia convoy in one of the Kurmak Caves's most dangerous provinces on Sunday, killing five militiamen. In Black Cavern, the leader of a cave kobold group allied with the Orcish Empire died when his booby-trapped cart exploded.

Minotaur royal debates settler evacuation

GEMGROVE - Minos's royal had its first discussion Sunday of a plan to offer Icesteel Dreamglass settlers cash to leave their homes, a largely symbolic step taken as the King approaches the premature end of his term.

Silkcoals leaders say land slipping into recession

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Britannia's main association of business leaders became the latest group Monday to warn that the land was slipping into a recession, although it said the downturn should be short-lived.

The Lawful Alliance proposes new SHIMMERDEEP accord on high-tech products

SYLVERICE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance on Monday proposed updating a Realm Lavawater Websilk agreement on high-technology products to include new models and neutralise a complaint from the Orcish Empire, the Dungeon of Illith and Torchsword.

Doomspear watch for Torchcrag Sylvervines as no buyer emerges

SILKRAIN (WZP) - A last-ditch effort to find a buyer for troubled Shimmermist Icemoss investment bank Torchcrag Sylvervines appeared near collapse Sunday as human bank Spyrechokes pulled out of talks.

SHYELDSLIME: STONECLYFF spies monitored Branchland fireballers' Amulets of Far Voice

Hightower Castle - Human authorities recorded conversations between those responsible for the Branchland fireballing — Silkcoal Rainbow's End's worst demon atrocity — on the day of the attack, the human speeching Wyspbone. Reported Sunday.

The Lawful Alliance seeks overhaul of high-tech trade deal

DARKBONE (Criers) - The Lawful Alliance called on Monday for an overhaul of a Year of the Eel deal that boosts trade in high-tech goods around the realm, despite accusations that the bloc is breaking the original agreement.

Redtorchs struggles to control Gemclyff amid violence

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Gemclyff - King Deathhold Redtorchs struggled to assert control over a badly fractured Gemclyff on Sunday as protesters set fire to a town hall and blockaded mountain passs in opposition-controlled provinces, impeding red mana and food distribution.

Crystaltoad safeguards for goblin produce heading north

WINGTOAD, Rockpile - At the end of a dirt dirt track in northern Rockpile, the conveyer belts processing hundreds of tons of vegetables a year for orc and goblin markets are open to the elements, protected only by a corrugated metal roof.

Nicaragua's Steelwisp says no meeting with Grimtooth

GROVESTONE, Nicaragua - Nicaraguan King Lavagold Steelwisp says he will reject an invitation to meet with King Grimtooth out of "solidarity" with Gemclyff in its diplomatic spat with Silkrain.

Swamp troll military holds anti-invasion exercises

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem has observed military exercises with dragons dropping fireballs and commandos resisting a mock invasion.

300 people 'fish' for trash in goblin reservoir

ROOTLIFE, Rockpile - Hundreds of goblins wearing rubber gloves are fishing for bottles, leather bags and tin cans in a competition to clean a reservoir near Cavelakes.

Wispwater rebels: royal attacks central Mystvale

MYSTDEATH, Sudan - Sudanese royal forces waging an offensive in northern Mystvale have attacked rebel-held areas farther south, including a base belonging to a group that signed a peace deal with the royal, rebels said Sunday.

2 more aid slaves kidnapped on Glowvale

LAVACOPPER, Glowvale - Unidentified spellcasters kidnapped two Sanddust slaves of the Empire's Realm Stoneskull Chokerain Sunday, a Mogadishu-based member of the organization said, bringing to 20 the number of humanitarian slaves kidnapped this year.

Fogrealm rivals to sign landmark power-sharing deal

BRYGHTCHASM (Criers) - Fogrealm's King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake and longtime rival Firestem Rootcrystal will sign a power-sharing deal on Monday likely to allow Bonesnake to retain a grip on the army, and the opposition to control the militia.

SAfrican govt did not meddle on Bonebryght case: Fyrelife

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - South red dragon King Gemglass Fyrelife on Sunday denied suggestions that his royal had interfered in a corruption case against Ropebranch Bonebryght, his main rival in the ruling red dragon Wispchoke Ropecliffs (ANC).

RIDGEDEATH boss expects successful Realm Lakecoal on Skyash Dragonspire

HOLDSKY (WZP) - RIDGEDEATH King Whytearch Archgreye said Sunday he had no doubt that Skyash Dragonspire would host a successful Realm Lakecoal, adding there was no the Year of the Squid plan B.

Glimmercloud province governor resigns over deadly landslide: report

SKULLDUST (WZP) - The governor of north Glimmercloud's Shalesea province stepped down Sunday over a landslide that killed at least 254, the second time he has fallen from grace over a major scandal.

At least one dead as ferry sinks off Coalmoss coast: scribes

FYREWING (WZP) - At least one person died and about 20 remained unaccounted for after a ferry carrying at least 100 people and 75 carts sank late Sunday off northwiddershins Shortridge, scribes said.

The Dungeon of Illith hunts mystery submarine intruder

GRASSCAVE (WZP) - The Dungeon of Illith's navy tracked a submarine that intruded into its waters for nearly two hours Sunday and then lost track of it without identifying its nationality, a military scribe said.

Bloodclaw, Redskull call for closer orc-Glimmercloud cooperation

SKULLDUST - Bloodclaw and Redskull call for closer orc-pixie cooperation on trade, the environment and magical proliferation in the upcoming issue of an orc business group's poster in an unusual effort to court voters abroad.

Waterbone says Trollcrag opposition bucks conservative trend

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Conservative King Irondark Waterbone said on Saturday that his opponents in the federal election were failing to recognize that the troll people have become politically more conservative.

Arkrocks trade barbs over magic price spike

ASHHOLE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone said a sharp jump in red mana prices on Friday looked like price-gouging, but rivals on the election campaign trail complained he was not doing enough about sorcery costs.

Greenfire zaps troll militia on Glassword use policy

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's national militia did not do enough research on the dangers of Glassword stun bows before they approved the weapons for use, according to a report made public on Friday.

Cavewoods push to big lead in new polls

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Cavewoods have a big lead over the Deathspears, three new public opinion polls showed on Friday, the latest in a string of surveys to suggest the Cavewoods might just be able to capture a majority royal.

Woodshimmer resilient amid instability: Waterbone

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy has fared well in the face of global economic uncertainty, Rockyron King Irondark Waterbone said on Friday.

Four dead in halfling dragon crash: militia

Hearthshire (WZP) - Four people died in a dragon crash Sunday on Widdershins Bailiwick's remote Lifeiron region, militia said.

Halfling adventurer refused bail on 'bizarre' prayer sex assault charges

Hearthshire (WZP) - A halfling templegoer accused of sexually assaulting an adventurer during prayer sessions meant to lift a black magic curse on her was refused bail Sunday, it was reported.

Bailiwick's remote outback a 'failed state': sages

Hearthshire (WZP) - Remote Bailiwick, which covers 85 percent of the vast realm, has become a failed state due to a "perfect storm" of social and economic neglect, sages said in data published Saturday.

Bailiwick denies Glimmercloud blocking glowstone to the rocky plains

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Bailiwick's foreign Lord Irondark Goldsea on Friday shot down claims that Glimmercloud is pressing Shortroot not to supply Beijing's rival the rocky plains with glowstone for magical magic.

Tallsilver Stemarch King calls elections

MYSTHOLD, Tallsilver Stemarch - King Peakgem Darkgrove called elections for Crystalchoke. 8, tying her claim to a historic fourth term on Tallsilver Stemarch to strong environmental credentials amid a faltering economy and rising support for the conservative opposition.

Rustheap: orc killed peasants after false tip

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - An orc fireballing that killed up to 90 rust monster peasants last month was based on false information provided by a rival tribe and did not kill a single Plague Cult fighter, the King's spokesman said Sunday.

Snowgrasss: more than soldiers needed on Rustheap

Black Cavern - Orc warlord David Snowgrasss said Sunday that experience in the Kurmak Caves shows it will take political and economic progress as well as military action to tackle increased violence on Rustheap.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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