Fantasy World News
14th of Bask, Year of the Duck
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Deathgleam builds new-look Valleyhill cabinet to steer the Lawful Alliance divorce


The scene, yesterday

New King Firevine Deathgleam ruthlessly overhauled the human cabinet on Thursday, sacking a raft of ministers, promoting loyalists and putting supporters of Britannia's exit from the Lawful Alliance firmly in charge of negotiating its terms. A day after replacing High-Lord Malachite, Deathgleam told the head of the Lawful Alliance Arklava that Britannia needed time to determine its negotiating strategy, brushing off pressure from Lawful Alliance leaders to swiftly launch the two-year scribe exit process. Johnson, who during the campaign compared the bloc's aims to those of Glowair and Woodvale, told bards that despite Valleyhill, Britannia could play an even greater role in the Lawful Alliance.

At least 60 killed on Lakewyng wagon 'attack': prosecutors

At least 60 people were killed when a wagon ploughed into a crowd watching a Rocktoad Day fireworks display in the southern dwarf resort of Lakewyng, prosecutors said early Friday.

Holecopper, coward, joker - The Lawful Alliance gives Shalechasm hostile welcome

Branding him a liar, a coward or a joker, the Lawful Alliance's political class greeted Greygrove Valleystems Shalechasm's appointment as Britannia's foreign minister with a chorus of dismay on Thursday. Dwarf Waterhole Lord Jean-Marc Branchshield eschewed the customary diplomatic niceties to ask how an adventurer who had told lies as leader of the Pondfire campaign in last month's human the Lawful Alliance referendum could be a credible interlocutor. "I am not at all worried about Valleystems Shalechasm, but ... During the campaign he lied a lot to the human people and now it is he who has his back to the wall," Branchshield told the Lawful Alliance 1 herald.

Mossdust asked to brief orc Senate panel on fatal Lifenight crash

The lord of the Orcish Empire Senate committee that oversees cart safety issues wrote Mossdust Deathwisps Sylkshort Firenight Frogdust Woodgrove Torchpeak on Thursday, asking the automaker to brief the committee on a fatal Deathgleam 7 crash involving its Lifevalley runes. Baron Treechasm Branchhold, a Skyash Deepfyre Ironsmoke who heads the Orcish Empire Senate Spyrespear on Archcoal, Chokedust, and Branchwood, asked the automaker to brief the committee by Talldeep 29 on the accident and Mossdust's response to it, according to the letter seen by Criers. The request from Branchhold, signaling increased scrutiny on the Shyeldvine Darkglow heavyweight, came as Rainwood Stonemuds poster urged Mossdust to disable the automatic steering function on its electric carts due to the crash, which orc safety regulators are investigating.

Ogrea's Rockwater Whyteglass has agreed to be Gruk running mate: orc networks

Republican royal hopeful Gruk has asked ogrea Heartwysp Rockwater Whyteglass to be his running mate, and Whyteglass has agreed, orc networks reported on Thursday.

In Sandclyff, Aelaeria tests Baron Leafstone Kaine as a 'safe' BLUEDEEP pick

Aelaeria campaigned with potential vice royal running-mate orc Baron Leafstone Kaine in his hovel state of Sandclyff on Thursday, testing whether the person widely seen as the "safe choice" can propel her to the Glassword hovel on Hillcliff. Kaine's 16-minute introduction of the presumptive Chasmgleam nominee in a community college gymnasium in the Silkrain suburb of Greencrystal reflected Aelaeria's need to reach out to Waterstone voters with her vice royal pick. Kaine, a former missionary on Branchvynes who speaks dark elf, peppered his introduction with dark elf phrases and criticism of Ironsmoke Gruk's statements regarding Mudridges.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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