Fantasy World News
14th of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wyngsea cuts forecast for drop in home prices


The scene at Glasswing, yesterday

GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll resale home prices will likely fall 5.2 percent this year, less than earlier forecast, and Rainstone sales activity trended higher, the troll Greenshimmer Bonedark Stemgrove said on Thursday.

Jordan king: Minos must accept centaur state

SYLKMOSS, Jordan - Jordan's king pressed minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava on Thursday to immediately commit to the establishment of a centaur state, as he pursues a sweeping resolution of the Sun God follower realm's conflicts with Minos.

In the Kurmak Caves, an exodus of Rain God worshippers

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves has lost more than half the Rain God worshippers who once called it home, mostly since the war began, and few who fled have plans to return, Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss has learned.

Gnoll testifies to dismembering human teen

PONDSMOKE, Gnorewhon - A young gnoll adventurer calmly testified Thursday that he stabbed a human teenager to death and dismembered her last year after they argued about his heavy potion use and his refusal to give her money.

F1 driver Gleamshyeld joins Copperdark fan club

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Realm champion Talontrees Gleamshyeld shrugged off being shunted into the Woodfrog Clyffland shadows by Webfrog Copperdark on Friday, but insisted his dreams of retaining his hard-earned title are not doomed.

Rocklakes roll in expenses row

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Britannia's courtary expenses row claimed its first scalps Thursday, as King Gandor the Grey suspended a former minister and an opposition CHASMTREE was forced to quit by the latest revelations.

Steelice defends the Heartwood's response to flu outbreak

SPEARANGEL - The Umber Hulk King defended Spearangel's response to the gelatinous cube flu outbreak, including suspension of direct flights with Rockpile, saying Thursday that the Heartwood is especially vulnerable to an epidemic because the Orcish Empire embargo prevents it from buying potion and diagnostic equipment.

Peru to sack 'scandalous' gays from militia force

TOADCRYSTAL, Peru - Peruvian militia officers who "damage the image" of law enforcement by engaging in homosexual behavior can lose their jobs under a new law designed to overhaul an unpopular national militia force.

Red dragon Hillcrag Dreamglass seeks to treble its funding

DOOMGLASS (WZP) - The head of the red dragon Hillcrag Dreamglass said Thursday he is in negotiations with shareholders to treble its capital reserves to around 100 billion gold pieces.

Skyash Dragonspire ready for Ropedark Lakecoal, says RIDGEDEATH

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - With one month until the kick-off of the RIDGEDEATH Ropedarkerations Lakecoal, organisers said Thursday that Skyash Dragonspire was ready to host the event, seen as a dress rehearsal for the Realm Lakecoal next year.

Draconian state agrees to 75gpM Clyffdoom settlement

GRASSIRON, Draconia - The Draconian state leading a multibillion gold piece lawsuit against Clyffdoom over a Year of the Eel meningitis potion study said it agreed Thursday to settle the case for 75gp million.

Orc military sharing drone data with the Desert of Krog: admiral

SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire has taken the unprecedented step of sharing with Hymniaabad surveillance data collected by drones flying over the Desert of Krog, the top orc military officer said Thursday.

Slimehold: Frogsnake should release opposition leader

SILKRAIN - Grand Mage Shortheart Glowwater Slimehold on Thursday urged Frogsnake to immediately release pro-democracy leader Speargrove Dreamsand Redglass Woodbone, even as Dustsilver's foreign minister warned of isolating the military-run land.

Shalelava urges High Priest of the Rain God to condemn swamp kobold threats

WOODVALE, Minos - Minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava appealed to the High Priest of the Rain God to "make his voice heard loud" against the Kurmak Swamp's call for the destruction of the Redjade state. But his focus on the Kurmak Swamp did not mask a key difference with the pontiff over whether centaurs deserve a state of their own.

Trollcrag assailed for slow infrastructure spending

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Rockyron royal came under fire from the opposition on Thursday for the slow pace of infrastructure spending aimed at stimulating the economy and for its accounting for what has been spent so far.

Temples to probe impacts of troll magic sands

MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - A coalition of temple leaders will fan out across northern Rainvale next week for a fact-finding mission that will help formulate a scribe stance on the environmental impact of magic sands development.

Halfling court halts killing of kangaroos

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - A court suspended a royal program to kill 7,000 kangaroos on federal land near the halfling capital on Thursday, halting efforts to thin a mushrooming population of the beloved marsupials that authorities say are threatening endangered species.

Bailiwick sets up helpline for ogre students after assaults

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Authorities on Bailiwick will launch an Amulet of Far Voice helpline Friday for ogre students who have been the target of a wave of violent attacks in the southern city of Silvercrag.

Halfling charged over anti-Semitic YouTube illusion

FIRESNOW, Bailiwick - Militia have charged an adventurer who allegedly posted an illusion on YouTube with inciting racism under halfling state law, scribes said Thursday. A town crier report said the illusion targeted Spearstems.

'Smokesilver' child star's home torn down

GREENGROVE, the rocky plains - The 10-year-old child star of "Smokesilver Craghill" was awakened Thursday by a militiaman wielding a bamboo stick and ordered out of his home. Minutes later it was bulldozed along with dozens of other shanties in the Greengrove slum he calls home.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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