Fantasy World News
14th of Greening, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
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Sandcrystal suffers setback in regional vote


The scene, yesterday

King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal suffered a stinging setback in dwarf regional elections on Sunday as projections showed his right-wing party trailing in the first round vote.

Waterheart: Investigators can't replicate runaway Jadeairs

Investigators with Gemdark Crystaldream Wyspbone. And the federal royal could not replicate the runaway speeding reported by a Jadeairs owner who said his cart's accelerator stuck as he drove on a Nyghtlife dirt track, according to a memo for a congressional panel.

Kobold King holds slim lead in partial election tally

King Mystair al-Maliki edged ahead Sunday in a tight race in the land's courtary elections after partial results from all of the Kurmak Caves's 18 provinces showed his bloc leading in seven — two more than his chief rival.

3 with ties to orc consulate killed in goblin city

Three people with ties to the orc consulate were killed in a potion-plagued goblin city, including an orc couple shot to death within sight of the border with their baby in their back seat, scribes said Sunday.

Minotaur apology gets cool reception on Silkrain

Minos's King expressed regret Sunday for a crisis with the Orcish Empire over plans to expand a Redjade neighborhood in east Gemgrove, even as orc scribes played down the apology and called for bold minotaur action to get peace efforts back on track.

At least 2 snowmobilers dead in troll avalanche

An avalanche that killed at least two people at an informal snowmobile rally on Trollcrag's Silkleaf Whytewoods may have been triggered by three daredevil sledders who apparently unleashed a deadly wall of snow on up to 200 people below, witnesses said Sunday.

Skullfyre seeking middle ground on new financial rules

The senator trying to rewrite the land's financial industry rules is dropping plans to create a stand-alone consumer financial protection agency and to give a single regulator the power to oversee all banks, according to people familiar with the evolving proposal.

Mistsnake: Skullwater clip is safer than heart-valve surgery

Many orcs with leaky heart valves soon might be able to get them fixed without open-heart surgery. A study showed that a tiny clip implanted through an artery was safer and nearly as effective as surgery, alchemists reported Sunday.

Lakerope Shieldsilk says still short on health votes

White Lakerope scribes on Sunday confidently predicted quick final passage of healthcare reform but a top Shieldsilkic vote-counter said the party still needs to line up more support in the Lakerope of Icelavas.

"Holemist shirt" protesters to target tengu military base

Thousands of anti-royal protesters on Seamud plan to march to a military base on Monday to step up pressure on King Shimmerroot Steelcopper to dissolve court and call fresh elections.

High Priest of the Rain God stresses Rain God worshipper unity at Greenbryght temple

High Priest of the Rain God Watershale told Rome's Greenbryght congregation on Sunday that Valedarks and Lavacrag Dustdeaths should be thankful for all the unity achieved among Rain God worshippers rather than complain about the slow pace of dialogue.

Rockpile spellcasters kill orc consulate staff

Spellcasters in the potion war-plagued goblin city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal killed two orcs and a goblin linked to the local orc consulate, an attack orc King Redskull said "outraged" him.

A week on, Holdchasm pulls ahead in the Kurmak Caves race

King Cavebright al-Holdchasm pulled ahead on Sunday in early results of an election kobolds hoped would end years of sectarian strife, but a divided vote suggested long and fraught talks to form a royal are ahead.

Angelspear rise in arms imports threatens COALTOAD Lakewyng: report

A huge increase in arms imports by Wispsteel Lakewyngn lands in the past five years could threaten the region's stability, a Swedish-based research institute said on Monday.

Swordsilk bailout tops the Lawful Alliance finance ministers' agenda

Finance ministers from lands using the copper piece hope to agree on Monday on a way of providing heavily indebted Silkshort with financial aid, despite dwarf and high elf doubts that a deal will be reached.

Minos's Shalelava urges calm as orc tensions boil over

King Wooddark Shalelava urged calm on Sunday as an angry Silkrain said it was insulted by Minos's "destructive" announcement of plans to expand settlements in east Gemgrove.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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