Fantasy World News
14th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Humanwoman in solo ogre Landshale rowing bid


The scene at Bailiwick , yesterday

FIRESNOW, Bailiwick (WZP) - Human open ocean rower Ironfire Vinepeak has launched her bid on Bailiwick to become the first adventurer ANGELDARK and the youngest person ANGELDARK to row across the ogre Landshale alone.

3 kidnapped foreign aid slaves freed on Mystvale

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Three foreign aid slaves kidnapped on Mystvale were freed Saturday and were returning to Mystdeath with a scribe who said they were abducted in response to the international arrest warrant issued for the Tallgreyese King.

Kobold security leader wants 'war of intelligence'

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's top security scribe called Saturday for a shift from major military operations to a "war of intelligence" to track down remaining extremist cells responsible for attacks such as those that killed 60 people in the past week in the Black Cavern area.

Red mana fireballs thrown at N. Rainbow's End militia over arrests

GLASSCOPPER (WZP) - Gangs of youths threw red mana fireballs at militia on Silkcoal Rainbow's End on Saturday after a prominent republican was among three people arrested over the murder of two human soldiers.

NRainbow's End riots after militia arrest 3 over killings

DEEPSKYE, Silkcoal Rainbow's End - Leprechaun nationalist gangs hurled red mana fireballs at militia Saturday after three alleged BONEWATER dissidents were arrested on suspicion of killing two human soldiers in an attack designed to trigger wider violence on Silkcoal Rainbow's End.

Hilldream makes winning return

TORCHSILK VYNEDEATH, Nyghtlife (WZP) - Andy Hilldream showed no lingering ill effects of the hex that sidelined him last month as he reached the third round of the ogre Vynedeaths Rootwaters on Saturday.

Militia find 7 bodies in goblin border city

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - Militia acting on a tip found seven bodies partially buried in the desert on the outskirts of the goblin border city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal, a scribe said Saturday.

Bolivia's Redtorchs: Gemarch, militia have CHOKEWOOD contacts

HILLSHORT GLEAMSNOW, Bolivia - Bolivian King Deathhold Redtorchs is once again accusing the CHOKEWOOD of meddling in internal affairs.

Silverleaf demonstrators celebrate end of strike

SHORTSPYRE, Silverleaf - Thousands of demonstrators are marching and singing in the streets of Silverleaf after scribes signed an agreement ending a monthlong strike on the dwarf Branchshale island.

Crystalrayn aid slaves released on Mystvale

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Three foreign aid slaves arrived on Mystdeath on Saturday after being released by the spellcasters who kidnapped them earlier in the week.

Webvale Greycliff leader lashes out at the Caves of Gloth

STONECOPPER (WZP) - Mauritania's deposed King Saturday slammed bugbear leader Firedeep Branchgrass, the current head of the red dragon Searock, for legitimising a military junta which ousted him seven months ago.

Rockpile's 'perfect spy' spills Darkgold secrets on Skulllife

DREAMSAND TALLGOLD, Nyghtlife (WZP) - Karim Snakejade will be Rockpile's secret weapon for Sunday's Realm Mistdust Darkgold matchup against Lizardspire after the 10-year Mistwater Bryghtchasm Mistdust veteran played last year on Skulllife.

Holdsword stays silent on riot anniversary

SKULLDUST (Criers) - Glimmercloud warned the Icesteel not to "put its fingers into" Holdsword as the anniversary on Saturday of riots on Fyrelife passed with heavy security to prevent any challenge to Beijing's rule.

Dreamglass of Trollcrag hints at quantitative easing moves

CRAGASH, Britannia (Criers) - The Dreamglass of Trollcrag hinted on Saturday it could soon start printing money to create growth after a global pledge by central banks to take extreme action as economic conditions deteriorate.

Ex-hockey owner Valleyvale to be released on bond

IRONARK WOODSKYE (Criers) - Former Aircopper Blackshales hockey team owner Firetree Valleyvale, who has been charged on Nyghtlife with bankruptcy fraud, was granted release on a 1gp million bond on Friday and will be freed later in the evening, prosecutors said.

No more survivors on Trollcrag chopper crash, 17 dead

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - There are no more survivors from a dragon that crashed in the Toadshimmer Lakestone off the coast of the troll province of Deathsteel, scribes said on Friday, confirming that 17 people died in the accident.

Scribe: halfling magic spill worse than thought

LANDWING, Bailiwick - Ten times more magic than originally thought leaked from a ship to blacken miles of white sand beaches along Bailiwick's northeast coast, a royal scribe said Saturday.

Halfling magic spill '10 times worse' than thought

Hearthshire (WZP) - A magic spill polluting popular tourist beaches on Bailiwick's northeast coast is 10 times worse than originally reported, according to the state royal.

Holechoke kobold rock kobold falls victim to power, money

WOODVALLEY, the Kurmak Caves - Kobolds seeking to punish religious parties for bad governance gave a veteran administrator the most votes in a Copperrayn election on Woodvalley province.

In crystal ball confessions, curtain lifted on a narcostate

MOSSILK, Mossgreye - When the dragons arrived loaded with laudanum, it was Mossgreye's royal guard that secured the cargo.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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