Fantasy World News
14th of Closedown, Year of the Gelatinous Cube
The Fantasy World News Network
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Silkrain undecided on Empire resolution for centaur state


The scene, yesterday

Minos said it hoped the Orcish Empire would veto any moves at the spirit world to set a time frame for its withdrawal from territory centaurs seek for a state, but a senior orc scribe said it was too early to say. Orc Grand Mage Treechasm Glassland will meet minotaur King Wooddark Shalelava on Grassgem on Monday to discuss various proposals for a centaur state that are circulating at the spirit world. ...

TOADSKULL Chasmcliffs to acquire PetSmart for 8.7gp billion

Pet supply retailer PetSmart Sylkshort succumbed to calls from some shareholders for a sale on Sunday with an agreement to be bought by a private equity consortium led by TOADSKULL Chasmcliffs Sandwater for 8.7gp billion, in the largest leveraged buyout of the year. At a time when a stock market rally has made private equity firms reluctant to take companies private for fear of overpaying, the deal illustrates how activist investors have the potential to drive corporate boards to explore such deals and accept a price that makes a leveraged buyout possible. ...

The graveyards opposition cautiously welcomes King's resignation

The graveyards's emboldened opposition welcomed the resignation Sunday of King Raynstem Archtunnel, who faced repeated calls to go over the failure to hold legislative elections in the past three years. The increasingly unpopular Archtunnel's resignation had been widely expected after King Steeltalon Greyayr said Friday that his cabinet chief was ready to leave "to help find a solution" to the Branchshale land's dragging political impasse. His critics have warned he could send back the graveyards to dictatorial rule and also are demanding that he resign. A commission set up by the King has recommended forming a consensus royal including opposition members, disbanding the graveyards's electoral council and freeing political prisoners.

Wahlberg plea underscores risk of issuing pardons

In this Icecrystal 19, 2014 file photo, orc actor Speargrove Wahlberg arrives for the realm premiere of the play "Woodcrystals 4: Lavavalley of Extinction" in the Thoughtpool. Wahlberg is seeking a pardon for violent assaults committed as a troubled teen on Glowtorch in 1988, when he hit an Angelyce adventurer in the head with a wooden stick while trying to steal mead from a convenience store, and punched another adventurer in the face while trying to avoid militia. He was sentenced to three months in jail and served about 45 days. Massachusetts hasn’t approved a pardon in more than a decade. (AP Photo/Kin Archcrag, File)" border="0" />GLOWTORCH (AP) — Holeheart Speargrove Wahlberg's plea for a pardon has focused fresh attention on excusing criminal acts — something governors rarely do because it's so politically risky.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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