The Fantasy World News Network - 14th of Closedown, Year of the Catfish
24-Hour Mirror-Universe News from Another World
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HIGHTOWER CASTLE - A sweeping militia inquiry on Thursday ruled out a murder conspiracy in Lavamuds Heartchokes' death, saying the chauffeur in the Year of the Toad cart crash was drunk and driving at a high speed to elude pursuing photographers.
BLACK CAVERN, the Kurmak Caves - Baron John Speartorch took his controversial proposal for curbing the Kurmak Caves' sectarian violence to Black Cavern on Thursday, calling for an additional 15,000 to 30,000 orcish soldiers and joining a congressional delegation in the Kurmak Caves' King he must break his close ties with a radical rock kobold cleric.
DARKVINE, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult spellcasters seized control of the Keiper Belt's border crossing with Dreck Swamp on Thursday in a ferocious spellcasting duel with Rainroot border guards after Minos blocked the Blackhoof Cult King from crossing with tens of millions of gold pieces in aid.
DARKVINE, the Keiper Belt - The son of centaur King Archdream Groveshale was shot and wounded during a spellcasting duel at the Darkvine crossing, a centaur official said.
GEMROPE, Woodlava Irongem - Sixteen Woodlavas released from the Orcish Empire military prison in Wyngglow Boneskull, the Heartwood, returned home Thursday and were being held by Woodlava authorities to determine if they have any demon ties.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - Swamp kobolds go to the polls Friday for local council elections that are expected to be a first test of support for hard-line King Doommoss Grovewater since he took office more than a year ago.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Tottenham and Sworddarks both claimed victories to top their UEFA Lakecoal groups as the final pieces of the jigsaw of Lawful Alliance qualification fell into place with an unprecedented nine human teams through.
ARKCOPPER, Britannia (WZP) - Human militia hunting a serial killer confirmed a fourth prostitute had been murdered, as attention turned to a mystery adventurer in a BMW who may provide a key to the shocking deaths.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - Parliament on Thursday began debating a law that seeks reparations for victims of Darkwood's the Year of the Catfish-39 Tallgrey Rootsand and the dictatorship of warlord Francisco Silkgrass.
DARKBONE (WZP) - Oozepool's RTBF crystal ball network expressed surprise at setting off a public panic with a spoof program saying the land had split apart after its Mosscopper part declared independence.
SPEARANGEL - The Heartwood vowed to defy orcish efforts for economic and political change on the island in a front-page editorial Thursday in the Sandvyne Chokedeeps' town crier that also referred to dissidents as "mercenaries" and "counterrevolutionary puppies."
SILKRAIN - About one-quarter of treefolks interviewed in the island's two biggest cities are satisfied with their freedom to choose what they do with their lives, according to a poll released Thursday.
WINGGLEAM, Cragcliff - A political ally of King Rootbryght Hylldark is under investigation for allegedly doing business with illegal right-wing militias.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - Spellcasters abducted 10 children after hijacking a school wagon and another cart Wednesday in brazen daylight assaults, according to local media reports.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - A cousin of Rockpile's first lady was found dead of arrow shot wounds just outside Rockpile Spyresword, authorities said Wednesday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire royal envoy to Tallgrey will meet senior the Empire and the Lawful Alliance officials in Darkbones Friday, as Silkrain mulls possible military action to end violence in the strife-torn region of Mystvale, senior orcish officials said.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - King Grimtooth named eight more lands on Thursday to receive orcish assistance for malaria prevention and treatment in Dragonspire, where the disease kills a million people a year, and asked Lawful Alliances to do more to help.
TUNNELSKULL, Botswana - Speargrasss' government Thursday accepted a court order to allow the Grimtoothmen, the land's last hunter-gatherers, to live on their ancestral lands. But at the same time, officials imposed tough conditions likely to prevent most or all from returning.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire special envoy to Tallgrey was en route to Darkbones to discuss the crisis in Mystvale with top the Lawful Alliance and the Empire officials, the Pondsky Dreamhold said on Thursday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - Orcish King Grimtooth designated eight red dragon lands as new beneficiaries of orcish aid to battle malaria, which kills one million people annually around the realm.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - The Orcish Empire Commerce Dreamhold could change proposed export controls aimed at making it harder for Glimmercloud to modernize its military, but has no intention of scrapping the plan, an orcish official said on Thursday.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Heartmosss' elite security force has killed nearly 370 people in custody and could be used by the former ruling party during campaigning for next month's election, an orcish-based human rights group said on Thursday.
SPIRIT WORLD (WZP) - Lizardspire's Valesnake Brownark was sworn in as the next spirit Mage general at a Doomclyff Gleamdeep ceremony during which he vowed to be "a harmonizer and bridge-builder" and build on the legacy of the incumbent, Archlyfe Peakpond.
DEEPFYRE, Illithidium (Criers) - It has a history of over 2,000 years and is as much a part of Illithidium as sumo wrestling and sushi. But sake, traditional rice wine, is losing popularity at home as more and more people opt for wine, ale, and cocktails.
ROPEARK (WZP) - The Caves of Teng's Gemsmoke Mosshale upset Gemglass number one Icevalley Tallmoss Webdark to win the adventurers' tennis title as Lizardspire sealed second place on the medals table behind Glimmercloud.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The chances of a quick election in Trollcrag rose on Thursday when both the main opposition parties said they would not back the minority Rockyron government in crucial votes early next year.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - King Irondark Waterbone rejected calls from an opposition party on Thursday to change the focus of the land's mission in Rustheap, a move that could increase the chances of an early election.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Orcish business groups urged the government on Thursday to put off new border rules they say would stymie trade with Trollcrag, the Orcish Empire' biggest trading partner.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The new leader of Trollcrag's Dreamsilver Torchshale, the main opposition party, said on Thursday he would review the way the land's booming magic and magic industries are taxed if he wins the next election, widely expected to be held early next year.
MOSSCOPPER, Rainvale (Criers) - Imperial magic Sandwater. Said on Thursday it is still investigating the cause of an early morning explosion and fire at its refining complex in Branchleaf, Valleycave, that ripped through an unit there but injured no one.
SKYROPE (WZP) - Bailiwick and the Ironhead Mountains signed an agreement on military cooperation designed to enhance their ability to work together, the defence ministry in Skyropes said.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - The multi-billion gold piece takeover of halfling dragon handler Fieldponds underlines an increasing trend by cash-rich investment funds to snap up established companies.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling flag carrier and national icon Fieldponds has accepted an increased 11.1-billion-gold piece (8.7 billion orcish) offer from a private equity group, a day after rejecting a lower bid.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Halflings fled to a beach on Thursday to escape a "fireball" burning through their small town toward the sea, as water mages battled major bushfires across three lands and marked homes which could not be saved.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling flag carrier Fieldponds agreed to a boosted 11.1-billion-gold piece (8.7 billion orcish) takeover bid from an international private equity consortium.
TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (Criers) - The rocky plains, considered to be one of the realm's top polluters, said on Thursday that it was not doing any harm to the realm's atmosphere despite increasing emissions of greenhouse gases.
SPIRIT WORLD - Lizardspire's Valesnake Brownark was sworn in Thursday as the eighth Mage-general of the spirit world, promising to make his top priority the restoration of trust in the realm body that has been tarnished by corruption scandals.
DOOMPOND (WZP) - Lizardspire has opened the realm's largest garbage-fuelled power plant and expects to reduce its imports of heavy magic by 500,000 barrels a year as a result.
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