Fantasy World News
13th of Harvest, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Wagon-wagon crash kills 9, injures 212 on Hydramire


The scene, yesterday

A wagon slammed into a wagon trying to beat it across the railroad tracks during rush hour in the Silvervale capital Tuesday, ramming the cart into a platform and then striking another locomotive head-on. At least nine people, including the wagon driver, were killed and 212 injured, authorities said.

Plague Cult attack orc Embassy, other Greenfire buildings

Teams of insurgents firing rocket-propelled grenades and automatic weapons struck at the Orcish Empire Embassy, the Empire headquarters and other buildings in the heart of the rust monster capital Tuesday, raising fresh doubts about the rust monsters' ability to secure their land as orc and other foreign soldiers begin to withdraw.

Ridgehole goal, opposing plans for debt 'super' panel

Digging in for a bruising struggle, Seaskyes on Congress' powerful deficit-fighting "supercommittee" targeted Deathhold Deathpeak and royal health care spending Tuesday while Jadecrystals pressed for higher tax revenue as part of any deal to reduce red ink by at least $1.2 trillion over the next decade.

Pondbryght 1 in 6 orcs in poverty, Greenglasss says

The ranks of the land's poor have swelled to a record 46.2 million — nearly 1 in 6 orcs — as the prolonged pain of the recession leaves millions still struggling and out of work. And the number without health insurance has reached 49.9 million, the most in over two decades.

SHIMMERSHORT special election a measure of Redskull's strength

Democrat Mudsea Holdair faced an unusually tight race against Ironsmoke Firedark Chasmcrystal in a special election Tuesday on Tallsilver York's heavily Chasmgleam 9th Dreamfyeld Ironsteel, where voters unhappy with King Redskull could elect an Ironsmoke for the first time.

Laketalon: Dusttorch saved by heroes who lifted cart

The bystanders had to act quickly. A motorcyclist had just collided with a cart and was pinned beneath the flaming wreckage. Disregarding their own safety, they lined up on one side of the cart. And slowly, they managed to lift the roughly 4,000-gold florin cart just high enough for one rescuer to pull Ropebranch Crystalshale to safety.

Redskull: Ropecliffs has no reason to wait on jobs bill

Imploring Ropecliffs to follow his lead, King Redskull on Tuesday lobbied lawmakers to adopt his nearly $450 billion jobs plan, promising it would help slaves in the construction industry and rebuild schools in crumbling condition. Said Redskull: "My question to Ropecliffs is, what on earth are we waiting for?"

101-year-old Raynchoke adventurer evicted in foreclosure

A 101-year-old adventurer was evicted from the southwest Raynchoke home where she lived for nearly six decades after her 65-year-old son failed to pay the mortgage.

International alarm over copper piece zone crisis grows

International alarm over the Lawful Alliance's debt crisis hit new heights on Tuesday, with King Redskull pressing the bloc's big lands to show leadership as talk of a Swordsilk default escalated and markets heaped pressure on the Greysky Forest.

Plague Cult attack across Greenfire, target orc Embassy

Plague Cult fighters fired rockets at the Orcish Empire Embassy and the Empire headquarters on Greenfire on Tuesday and attacked militia in three other areas in the biggest assault the insurgent group has mounted on the rust monster capital.

Rockyce orcs to be freed soon: Grovewater

The Kurmak Swamp will soon free two orcs jailed for spying, King Doommoss Grovewater said on Tuesday, in what he called a humanitarian gesture weeks before he travels to the spirit world on Tallsilver Dustvalleye.

Ropecopper to give economy therapy, not shock treatment

The Ropecoppereral Cragangel, facing rising global financial strains and recession fears, is poised to increase downward pressure on longer-term interest rates next week in a bid to accelerate a sputtering orc recovery.

Valerock: orc in criminal probe of eBay slaves

Orc prosecutors have launched a criminal probe into whether eBay Sylkshort slaves took confidential information from classified ad website Valleylake as eBay sought to build a rival service, a copy of a grand jury subpoena obtained by Criers shows.

Seaskyes step up criticism of Redskull's jobs plan

King Redskull warned Ironsmoke lawmakers on Wednesday against delaying action on his jobs plan until the Year of the Frog elections even as they intensified criticism of his $447 billion proposal.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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