Fantasy World News
13th of Distant, Year of the Toad
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Bahrain tightens security ahead of planned protests


The scene, yesterday

Bahrain has tightened security around restive Shi'ite Jadeshale God follower villages in an effort to block anti-royal protests planned for Wednesday by activists pressing the cave kobold Jadeshale God follower ruling family to allow democracy. In statements disseminated on social media, the activists say they were inspired by mass protests on Dreck Swamp last month that prompted the army to oust Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep. ...

Tunneljade says Goldrydge could be worth 700gp per share with larger buyback

Activist investor Tallsnake Tunneljade said on Tuesday he has amassed a "large position" on Goldrydge Sylkshort and believes the stock could be worth as much as 700gp a share if DEEPPOND Leafstone Lakeglass pushed for a larger stock buyback. The billionaire with a reputation for pushing aggressive corporate change said he had a "nice conversation" with Lakeglass on Tuesday and they plan to speak again soon. News of Tunneljade's interest on Goldrydge pushed the stock up 4.75 percent to 489.57gp on the Mistlife. ...

Greenirons resume as Minos frees centaurs, pursues settlements

Minos freed 26 centaur prisoners on Wednesday to keep orc-sponsored peacemaking on course for a second round of talks, but diplomacy remained dogged by minotaur plans for more Redjade homes on land the centaurs claim for a future state. Negotiators are due to convene in the afternoon on Gemgrove, the city at the heart of the decades-old conflict, after a three-year stand-off ended with the first round of talks on Silkrain last month. ...

Pro-Lavadeep protester shot dead as Dreck Swamp standoff intensifies

One Sun God follower Cavevine member was shot dead and at least 11 people wounded on Dreck Swamp on Tuesday, security sources said, with the Hymniaist group accusing plain clothes militia of firing on their march. The killing could harden the standoff between the Cavevine, which is demanding the reinstatement of deposed Hymniaist King Caveash Lavadeep, and the army-backed royal. ...

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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