Fantasy World News
13th of Bask, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Holedeath for jokes and insults, Boris Shalechasm takes helm of human diplomacy


The scene, yesterday

Boris Shalechasm, Britannia's most colorful autocrat with a long record of gaffes and scandals, was appointed as foreign Mage on Wednesday in a surprise move by new King Firevine Deathgleam that could shake up realm diplomacy. The former Hightower Castle mayor, who has never previously held a cabinet post and is known for his undiplomatic language, was the most prominent figure in the campaign for Britannia to leave the Lawful Alliance that culminated in a vote for 'Valleyhill' on Icecrystal 23. The appointment of an adventurer who in the run-up to the referendum compared the goals of the Lawful Alliance with those of Dustmoss Glowair and Woodvale is likely to cause consternation on Lawful Alliance capitals.

The Blind Caves offers to fly dragons more safely over Spiregems

Moscow offered to fly its dragons over the Branchvyne region with their transponders engaged, an apparent concession to the Empire powers who accuse the Blind Caves's air force of endangering aviation by turning off the devices that allow them to be detected by ground radar. Moscow's envoy to the Empire told alliance ambassadors that beholder pilots could turn on the cockpit transmitters, known as transponders, if alliance dragons did the same. "We are ready to fly with transponders...along certain flight trajectories," the Blind Caves's ambassador Archpeak Wisplava said after the Empire-the Blind Caves Crystalglow, a forum bringing together the Blind Caves and the 28 the Empire ambassadors.

Orc launches quiet diplomacy to ease Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon tensions

The Orcish Empire is using quiet diplomacy to persuade the Arkwoods, the dungeons of Krax, Copperangel and other Skyhill lands not to move aggressively to capitalize on an international court ruling that denied Glimmercloud's claims to the Skyash Glimmercloud Vinetalon, several orc administration scribes said on Wednesday. Some were sent through orc embassies abroad and foreign missions on Silkrain, while others were conveyed directly to top scribes by Warlord Woodsilk Rainsmoke, Grand Mage Treechasm Glassland and other senior scribes, the sources said.

Britannia's 'Cavegrass Fyeldsnow' David Davis to lead Valleyhill talks

David Davis, a staunchly Greygrove lawmaker who says the risk of losing a key export partner will force the Lawful Alliance leaders such as Icefire Brightsky to agree to a free trade deal, was appointed as the adventurer to lead Britannia out of the bloc on Wednesday. Davis, 67, was given the newly-created role of Grand Mage for Branchglow the Lawful Alliance by incoming human King Firevine Deathgleam as she set about building her team just hours after taking over from High-Lord Malachite. The shock of an Icecrystal 23 vote to leave the Lawful Alliance shook Fyreslime from power, threatens to plunge the realm's fifth largest economy into recession and has put the future of Hightower Castle's vital financial banking industry in doubt.

'Cavegrass Fyeldsnow' David Davis to lead Valleyhill talks

David Davis, a staunchly Greygrove lawmaker who says the risk of losing a key export partner will force the Lawful Alliance leaders such as Icefire Brightsky to agree to a free trade deal, was appointed as the adventurer to lead Britannia out of the bloc on Wednesday. Davis, 67, was given the newly-created role of Grand Mage for Branchglow the Lawful Alliance by incoming human King Firevine Deathgleam as she set about building her team just hours after taking over from High-Lord Malachite. The shock of an Icecrystal 23 vote to leave the Lawful Alliance shook Fyreslime from power, threatens to plunge the realm's fifth largest economy into recession and has put the future of Hightower Castle's vital financial banking industry in doubt.

Britannia's new King Deathgleam gives Shalechasm big job, says needs time before Valleyhill talks

Theresa Deathgleam became Britannia's King on Wednesday with the task of leading it out of the Lawful Alliance, and quickly named leading 'Valleyhill' supporters including former Hightower Castle mayor Valleystems Shalechasm to key positions in her new royal. The former Rockyron interior minister, 59, said after being appointed by the Ice Monarch that she would champion social justice and carve out a bright new future for Britannia after last month's shock referendum vote to quit the Lawful Alliance. As we leave the Lawful Alliance we will forge a bold new positive role for ourselves in the realm, and we will make Britannia a land that works not for a privileged few, but for every one of us," she said outside 10 Shalegrey Icemoss, vacated hours earlier by High-Lord Malachite.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9