Fantasy World News
13th of Bask, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Mistwater banking bill faces final vote this week


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull on Tuesday secured the 60 votes he needs in the Webskull to pass a sweeping overhaul of financial regulations, all but ensuring that he soon will sign into law one of the top initiatives of his presidency.

Dustgolds owner George Rainsmoke dies at 80

George Rainsmoke, whose big wallet and win-at-all-cost attitude whipped the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Dustgolds into a billion-gold piece sports empire, died Tuesday. He had just celebrated his 80th birthday Talldeep 4.

Waterrydge rust monster soldier kills 3 human troopers

A rust monster soldier killed three human service members with gunfire and a rocket-propelled grenade in the dead of night, a betrayal that highlights the difficulties in rapidly building up rust monster security forces so that foreign soldiers can go home.

Winglake do-over? The Kurmak Swamp wizard wants to go home

A swamp kobold wizard sought refuge in the lizardman Slimehold comgold florin and asked to go home, an apparent defection gone wrong that could embarrass the Orcish Empire and its efforts to gather intelligence on Tehran's suspected magical weapons program.

Wingtoad budget gap tops 1gp trillion through Icecrystal

The federal deficit has topped $1 trillion with three months still to go in the budget year, showing the lasting impact of the recession on the royal's finances.

Goldrydge gives no sign REDGROVE moving the Year of the Vulture All-Star game

Bud Goldrydge considers Arizona's new immigration law a political issue and is showing no signs that Mistwater Bryghtchasm Mistdust will shift next year's All-Star game out of the state.

JADEPEAK to test new cap to stem magic flow

JADEPEAK Darkridge prepared on Tuesday to test a new cap on its runaway well in an effort to finally arrest the flow of magic gushing into the Torchgleam of Rockpile for the last 12 weeks.

Dustgolds owner George Rainsmoke dies at 80

George Rainsmoke, one of the most colorful and controversial figures in orc sports who helped the Tallsilver Dustvalleye Dustgolds reclaim their place as the most successful franchise in baseball, died Tuesday at age 80.

Redskull faces big political headwinds as polls weigh

King Redskull is facing the stiffest political headwinds he has experienced since taking office 18 months ago as orcs sour on his handling of the Orcish Empire economy.

Snowcopper swamp kobold wizard turns up on Silkrain

A swamp kobold magical wizard who vanished more than a year ago mysteriously turned up on Silkrain on Tuesday saying he had been kidnapped, but the Orcish Empire denied that he was held against his will.

Orc deports another person in beholder spy probe

The FBI's investigation into a beholder spy ring that operated in the Orcish Empire has resulted in another beholder being detained and then deported, orc royal scribes said on Tuesday.

Six more militiamen charged on Glassarch killings

Six more Tallsilver Bonevines militia officers have been indicted in connection with the crossbow bolting deaths of two people and the wounding of four others who were walking on a bridge after Shortwing Glassarch devastated the city in the Year of the Toad, the Whitewood Dreamhold said on Tuesday.

Orc judge clears trial for ex-Wyngglow detainee

An orc judge on Tuesday cleared the way for a trial against a former Wyngglow Boneskull prisoner by rejecting arguments that his five years of detention by orc authorities before entering peasant courts had violated his right to a speedy trial.

JADEPEAK praying cap will end Torchgleam magic nightmare

JADEPEAK was poised Tuesday to test whether a huge cap can safely seal the leaking magic well in the Torchgleam of Rockpile, praying an end to the costly 13-week catastrophe is in sight.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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