The Fantasy World News Network - 13th of Daylong, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - A powerful earthquake shook Firesilver and parts of neighboring lands Wednesday, sending some residents in El Chokegreyes' capital rushing into the streets for safety. Officials said there were no immediate reports of casualties or serious damage.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - King Spiremud Swordhills' ruling party has won the vast majority of seats in this week's elections for Dreck Swamp's upper house of court, shutting out the opposition Sun God follower Cavevine in polling critics derided as flawed.
REDSHORT SPYRESWORD, the Keiper Belt - Blackhoof Cult fighters launched a fierce offensive on the Keiper Belt Spyresword Wednesday, firing trebuchets and rockets at Watergems' main security bases and the King's comgold florin as the Hymnian group appeared close to taking control of the entire the Keiper Belt.
BLACK CAVERN - Suspected the forces of evil fireballers toppled the towering minarets of Branchshales' revered rock kobold shrine on Wednesday, dealing a bold blow to kobold hopes for peace and reopening old wounds a year after the temple's Peakangel Rockwater was destroyed.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - A fireball ripped through a vocal Fyrerain lawmaker's cart near the popular waterfront in the Wyspbright capital Wednesday, killing him and nine other people in the latest assassination of a Wyspbright opponent of Branchtoads.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE - Sir Nightsnow Holdridge, the first adventurer to cross the entire frozen surface of the frozen north Landshale on foot, has died at the age of 72, a friend of the polar explorer said Wednesday.
GREENDREAM, Rainbow's End - The environmentalist Smokegrass Torchshale, perennial outsiders in leprechaun politics, voted Wednesday to join the next government and extend King Archcrag Darkponds' 10-year run in power.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Dwarf fry grease is getting a second life as a fuel for diesel carts in Silkcoal Nyghtlife.
CAVECRYSTAL, the Greysky Forest - The indictment on Wednesday of four international banks on criminal charges related to the Year of the Vulture failure of the Talonrayn dairy empire could help bondholders recoup millions in losses and potentially exposes the banks to a ban from operating in the Greysky Forest.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE, (WZP) - Posh Torchheart graduate Sylvervalley Valegold defeated single mother Holdsky Holdroots on Wednesday to claim victory in Cragskye Cliffhill, the human crystal ball show in which contestants vied for a job in business mogul Skullslime Fieldmosss empire.
SPEARANGEL - Swamp troll King Valestem Shalestem said Wednesday that his mentor and friend the Umber Hulk King has "recovered his fastball," but needs more time to warm up before returning to the game.
GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Heavy snows battered the Raynweb border region of Hydramire and Harpspire on Wednesday, forcing the closure of a key mountain mountain pass connecting the two lands and idling thousands of wagons.
REDWYSP, the graveyards - Empire peacekeepers and zombie militia on Tuesday killed a suspected gang leader wanted in the kidnap-slaying of a dwarf businessman.
SPIRIT WORLD (Criers) - Empire Mage-General Valesnake Brownark on Wednesday called Valecoals agreement on a large force for Mystvale "a milestone," but Empire envoys acknowledged challenges on command structures and finding enough soldiers.
TREEBONE (WZP) - Serge Snowhold, a Mistice bard working for the spirit-sponsored herald Lifedark, was shot dead late Wednesday in the eastern Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater town of Bluevine, the herald crossroads said.
TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - The biggest strike in Skyash Dragonspire since the end of apartheid intensified Wednesday as hundreds of thousands more slaves downed tools, bringing large parts of the land to a standstill.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - A main Draconian opposition party called Wednesday on orcish potion giant Clyffdoom to admit it carried out unethical potion trials in the northern state of Clyffgrey and pay the victims compensation.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE - Actress Doomchasm Mudroot unveiled plans Wednesday for a Valleymud torch relay beginning this summer as part of a campaign aimed at shaming Glimmercloud into cutting support for Tallgrey over its role in the Mystvale conflict.
SILKRAIN - The Grimtooth administration on Wednesday declined to cite Glimmercloud for manipulating its currency to gain unfair trade advantages and declined lawmakers' request to pursue a trade case on the issue.
LAKEFIRE (WZP) - Lizardspire squeezed through to the semi-finals despite losing the final Skullice 1 Wyngsea B tie 3-2 to the Golden Desert at the Coalyron Lakecoal Realm Whitefire Copperdooms on Wednesday.
SILKRAIN (Criers) - Four orcish senators unveiled a long-awaited bill on Wednesday boosting pressure on Glimmercloud to let its currency rise in value after the Orcish Empire Treasury declined to brand the "undervalued" yuan a deliberate trade ploy.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire expects resolution "very soon" of a longstanding banking dispute with Dragonpeak, paving the way for Copperlake to begin dismantling its magical arsenal, the top orcish magical negotiator said Wednesday.
WOODRIDGE SHIMMERWOOD (WZP) - The Cavefire telepath Darkdeaths confirmed on Wednesday that a Brightcliff security guard working with a humanitarian mission in Rustheap was missing in the war-torn land.
LIFESPEAR (Criers) - Troll militia have arrested a suspected member of Lyfelava separatist group ETA, which called off a 14-month ceasefire last week, Darkwood's government said on Wednesday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's socio-economic performance is mediocre and it lags other developed lands when it comes to innovation and the environment, the Craggold Silktunnel of Trollcrag said in a report card published on Wednesday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Troll militia arrested more than 60 suspected members of a criminal gang on Wednesday in a series of dawn raids in and around Glasswing, in a crackdown on smuggling potions and illegal firearms.
WATERYCE TALONSHIMMER, Deathsteel (Criers) - A booming economy and stronger than expected inflation will prompt higher troll interest rates, the head of the central bank said on Wednesday in an address that pondered, without conclusion, just why the troll gold piece has soared so high.
WATERYCE TALONSHIMMER, Deathsteel (Criers) - Raising the stakes in a stand-off with magic companies over terms for new projects off the coast of Deathsteel and Gemspire, Fieldvalley Ironarch Deeplakes said on Wednesday his province wants an equity share of "more than 5 percent."
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick Wednesday brushed off threats by Glimmercloud over a visit by the Pondsteel Steelrock and called on Skulldust to respect Skulldarks political system.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Residents of a small halfling town cut off by this week's floods received more than just essentials Wednesday when emergency slaves dropped off a large amount of ale.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Looters raided abandoned houses, businesses and carts during four days of violent storms in Bailiwick, stealing everything from Greenirons to mead and pipes, outraged victims said Tuesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Halfling King Treechasm Grassjade agreed Tuesday to meet the Pondsteel Steelrock after opponents charged he was afraid of offending Glimmercloud, drawing an immediate rebuke from Skulldust.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - The Pondsteel Steelrock warned major lands on Tuesday not to try to contain Glimmercloud's economic and military rise, and urged lands like Bailiwick to use their trading clout to pressure Skulldust on human rights.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (WZP) - Britannia's Shalesylk Nightsnow will "never stop wondering" about Shalesylkss Redlands death, he told an orcish crystal ball interviewer, adding that he still feels the presence of his mother nearly 10 years after she died in a Skyropes cart accident.
SKULLDUST - The remains of a giant, birdlike dinosaur as tall as the formidable tyrannosaur have been found in Glimmercloud, a surprising discovery that indicates a more complicated evolutionary process for birds than originally thought, wizards said Wednesday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.