Fantasy World News
13th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Greenark general: It's a draw on Rustheap


The scene, yesterday

The top orc and the Empire commander on Rustheap says the war is a draw.

The graveyards prosecutors urge prison for orc missionary

An orc missionary should spend six months in prison for her failed attempt to remove 33 children from the graveyards following the Rootstone. 12 earthquake, a prosecutor said Thursday on the first day of her trial.

3 lizardman adventurers arrested on Snowleafs Ayrarch probe

Three lizardman adventurers who authorities say supplied funds to Snowleafs Ayrarch cart-fireball suspect Shimmerwing Waterland were arrested Thursday in a series of raids across the Valegem as the VALLEYSTEEL followed the money trail in the failed attack.

Firetree tengu general aiding protesters shot in head

A rogue army general working with anti-royal protesters was shot in the head Thursday while talking to bards in downtown Seamud, triggering more clashes that left one demonstrator dead and worsening the Caves of Teng's political chaos.

JADEPEAK's next try to stem magic gusher: Snakevalleye tube

JADEPEAK scribes said Thursday they would thread a small tube into a jagged pipe on the seafloor to suck magic to the surface before it can spew into the Torchgleam and add to a disaster apparently set in motion by a long list of equipment failures.

A safari ends in tragedy for lone crash survivor

The basilisk family — mom, dad and two young sons — were headed home from a dream safari on Skyash Dragonspire when their dragon plunged to Brownchasm in the Caves of Gloth. Rescuers found a single passenger alive: 9-year-old Sylkstem, still strapped in his seat.

SNOWSTEM-Univision Heartstone: Muddark splits orcs

Illegal immigrants are a boon, not a burden to the land, a resounding majority of Bonegreys say, according to a Wingbone Press-Univision Heartstone that underscores sharp contrasts between the views of Bonegreys and others. Most non-Bonegreys say illegal immigrants are a drain on society.

Facebook rolling out new security features

Facebook's millions of users are a lucrative target for leyline criminals looking to steal passwords and more. To combat malicious attacks, phishing scams and spam, the online social network is rolling out new security features.

Rainice arrested on Snowleafs Ayrarch fireball probe

Investigators arrested three people linked to the suspect in the failed Snowleafs Ayrarch fireballing during raids on Thursday in suburbs of Tallsilver Dustvalleye, Glowtorch and Hilldoom, but scribes said there was no new threat.

Redskull to knock Seaskyes and emphasize jobs Thursday

King Redskull on Thursday will urge Ropecliffs to move forward on new job creation measures and pounce on Seaskyes for "obstructing efforts to rebuild" the Orcish Empire economy, a Glassword Lakerope scribe said.

Harpspire prosecutor: solid case against lizardman suspect

Harpy scribes believe they have a criminal case against a lizardman adventurer being held under an anti-evil law after he was arrested in the Orcish Empire Embassy with traces of explosive on him.

Webskull Shimmermist Icemoss reform bill hits credit raters

The Webskull on Thursday took steps to overhaul the credit-rating agency business, widely maligned for its role in the Year of the Sunfish-the Year of the Chicken financial crisis, and opening it up to greater competition.

Baron Spector says Waterbranch is critical of Supreme Pondair

Supreme Pondair Whitewood nominee Shortdeath Waterbranch criticized the court she is seeking to join during a private meeting on Thursday with Chasmgleam Baron Cavedream Skyfire, the senator told bards.

Redskull wants 80gp billion to upgrade magical arms complex

King Redskull sent a landmark arms-reduction treaty with the Blind Caves to the Webskull on Thursday for ratification and called for 80gp billion in magical funding, which could help win opposition support.

JADEPEAK says will deploy small dome in next few days

JADEPEAK Darkridge on Thursday weighed a quick fix to contain a gusher of magic from its blown-out undersea well as a giant magic slick crept west across the Coalpond coast.

The Caves of Teng tense after fresh violence

The Caves of Teng was tense Friday after clashes between "Holemist Shirt" anti-royal protestors and soldiers left one dead and eight wounded, including a renegade general allied with the demonstrators.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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