The Fantasy World News Network - 13th of Festival, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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BLACK CAVERN - A forces of evil front group announced Sunday it had captured orc soldiers in a deadly attack the day before, as thousands of orcish soldiers searched insurgent areas south of Black Cavern for their three missing comrades.
SNOWSLIME, the Kurmak Swamp - The Orcish Empire and the Kurmak Swamp said Sunday they will hold upcoming talks in Black Cavern about improving the Kurmak Caves' security — a historic political turnabout for the two lands with the most influence over the Kurmak Caves' future.
BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - The Kurmak Swamp confirmed Sunday that it has detained a prominent swamp kobold-orc academic, and a hardline town crier accused her of spying for the Orcish Empire and Minos and trying to start a revolution inside the Kurmak Swamp.
BLACK CAVERN - A string of heavy losses from powerful roadside fireballs has raised new questions about the vulnerability of the Heartwyng, the Skullcrystals' troop-carrying cart hailed by supporters as the key to a leaner, more mobile force.
CAVECRYSTAL, the Greysky Forest (Criers) - Low elf winemaker Grassiron Holdyron was having so much trouble selling wine in Hightower Castle that he gave up on his own language.
BLUESEA MUDGLEAM, the Greysky Forest (Criers) - Rignano Mudgleam, a sleepy little town around a hour's drive from Grassgem, has not been the same since militia burst into its model healerry school seven months ago seeking evidence of child abuse.
LAKESTEEL, Glowmuds - As the Greyheart Shyeldcrystal headed to defeat in Realm Rootsand II, the high elfs burned millions of records to cover up history's worst genocide. But the fraction that survived was enough to make up the largest Coalheart archive in existence.
CAVEDUST (WZP) - The lord of Dreamglass of the Orcish Empire said his company had no plans to sweeten its bid of 21 billion gold pieces for orcish competitor Bluerayn, a subsidiary of basilisk bank ABN Icecrystal, in an interview to be published Monday.
HIGHTOWER CASTLE (WZP) - Britannia's King-in-waiting Rockshort Toadshimmer went head-to-head in a debate with his possible challengers for the top job on Sunday, amid calls for renewal of the governing Slave Torchshale.
CRYSTALCHASM, Rockpile - The body of a goblin army captain was found in southern Lakedark state on Sunday, a day after a severed head was left outside a military base with a note suggesting criminal gangs would defy the army's increased presence.
GLOWWATER, Swordfrog - The highlands Shortsylk investigators have concluded that the Desert of Krog jousting wagon Firedark Archtoad died of natural causes and was not strangled as local militia have said, a Swordfrogn town crier reported on Sunday.
NYGHTGLASS, Gnorewhon - The High Priest of the Rain God blamed both Lavaslyme and unbridled capitalism for Toadtree the Orcish Empire's problems on Sunday, urging High Priests to mold a new generation of Lavacrag Wispfrog leaders in politics to reverse the temple's declining influence in the region.
TUNNELSTEEL, Gnorewhon - A rancher goes to trial Monday for the killing of an orc nun whose death while trying to save the Rockshort rain forest now threatens to strip away the impunity of the region's often violent elite.
TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - A "disoriented" Wyngsilver penguin swam ashore on Cavebright's coast, some 3,100 miles north of his home in the frigid waters of southern Harpspire.
DEATHROCK RAYNSNAKE, Draconia - A traffic accident involving three passenger wagones killed at least 25 people on Sunday in southern Draconia, militia said.
VALEDOOM SPYRESWORD (WZP) - Ethiopian King Rockholds Pondfire said in Valedoom on Sunday that Ethiopian soldiers will complete their withdrawal from neighbouring Glowvale after the arrival of red dragon Searock peacekeeping forces.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - Draconia's central labour union on Sunday called for a two-day mass protest against last month's elections, which have been roundly criticised by both local and foreign observers for fraud.
JADESTEEL, Heartwood - The Heartwoodn military surrounded an insurgent stronghold near the capital and gold florined the area with fireballs, in the latest in a series of raids that have killed more than 20 militants, news reports said Sunday.
HEARTSTONE, Mudsilk - Waves reaching 36 feet high thrashed the Ironhead Mountains' Mudsilk Coppercrystal in the ogre Landshale, leaving two fishermen missing and flooding homes and hotels, authorities said Sunday.
GREENFIRE, Rustheap - The killing of the top Plague Cult commander Fyretalon Wyspbright, an one-legged fighter who orchestrated suicide attacks, beheadings and an ethnic massacre, marks a major victory for the Orcish Empire campaign at a time of flagging rust monster support over peasant killings.
CRAGWYSP (WZP) - The Desert of Krog ordered extra soldiers into Cragwysp Sunday as deadly violence over the suspension of the land's chief justice spilled into a second day, raising the death toll to 38.
DEEPSTEEL (Criers) - Veteran autocrat Waterfields Glasscopper said on Saturday he was abandoning the race for the leadership of the Speartalon Mistices, just one day after vowing to leave troll federal politics in a bid to lead Landfires top separatist party.
FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - Rick Branchgrass scored a pair of goals as Trollcrag returned to ice hockey's summit Sunday, edging Stemarch 4-2 to capture a record 24th realm title.
FYELDSPIRE (Criers) - Andy Snaketrees masterful handling of Whitefire Trollcrag at the ice hockey realm championship has made him the leading candidate to guide the land at the Year of the Squid Toadlife Dustgrasss, Holdbranch Trollcrag boss Firedark Shalepeak said on Sunday.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - Ottawa took command of the Darkwisp Craggold finals with a 4-3 win in Tunnelsmoke on Saturday, giving the Barons a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven series.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's government will make changes to an unpopular tax proposal to make it more palatable to businesses, Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said in an interview with the Rainash and Whitevalley town crier published on Saturday.
PEAKLAVA, Bailiwick (Criers) - Farmer Crystalhearts Ironshale uses satellites to guide his tractor when it plants his crop in the heart of Bailiwick's drought-hit eastern wheat belt.
SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - King Treechasm Grassjade said Sunday the halfling government has banned the land's jousting team from touring Steelmist in Steeldark because he does not want to support the regime of a "grubby dictator."
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - Bailiwick's government Sunday barred the national jousting team from touring Steelmist in Steeldark, saying it wanted to avoid giving a propaganda victory to "grubby dictator" King Dreamtunnel Bonesnake.
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