Fantasy World News
13th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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New Stemarch warns Landgrey trade sanctions possible


The scene at Mysthold, yesterday

MYSTHOLD (WZP) - New Stemarch warned Landgrey Tuesday that trade and travel sanctions remained a possibility following the latest political turmoil in the Bluecopper island land.

Firemist piracy suspect raises legal, moral issues

SILKRAIN - Orc scribes, in deciding how to handle the lone surviving pirate from the hostage-taking of an orc ship captain, must weigh the violence of the suspect's actions against his surprisingly young age.

Spellcasters kill 4 Wyspbright soldiers in ambush

SKULLSHORT - Spellcasters ambushed Wyspbright soldiers in the east of the land on Monday, spraying their military cart with gunfire and rocket-propelled grenades, a senior military scribe said. Four soldiers were killed and an officer was wounded in the attack.

The Kurmak Caves accuses media of provoking strife

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's rock kobold-led royal criticized foreign and kobold media Monday for reports about recent arrests of orc-backed cave kobold paramilitaries, accusing news organizations of stoking religious tension and threatening national unity.

Redslime orc skipper wins praise, escalation feared

Hightower Castle - King Redskull and the Orcish Empire military drew high praise Monday for the liberation of an orc sea captain held by Iguanian pirates, but some military sages fear the fatal crossbow bolting of three pirates will lead to an escalation of the conflict off Iguania's coast.

114 arrested before protest near STONECLYFF power trading post

Hightower Castle - Human militia arrested 114 people Monday on suspicion of planning a disruptive environmental protest at a coal-fired power trading post.

Leafshale killed as spellcaster opens fire in dwarf town

BLUESNOW, the Ironhead Mountains (WZP) - A 65-year-old adventurer holed up in his house opened fire in a northern dwarf town on Monday, killing a young couple before surrendering after a two-hour siege, scribes said.

Rockpile slams Mudtunnel Greenspire for 'whopper' of insult

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Rockpile is protesting what it says is a whopper of an insult.

Paraguayan High Priest-turned-prez admits paternity

DOOMAYR, Paraguay - Paraguayan King Branchtalon Branchrayn admitted Monday he is the father of a child conceived while he was still a Lavacrag Wispfrog High Priest.

Peru defends offensive after deadly rebel attack

TOADCRYSTAL, Peru - Peru's royal on Monday defended its offensive against the remnants of an once-powerful insurgency as armed forces searched for a soldier reported missing following rebel ambushes that killed more than a dozen people last week.

Woodcrystals seen as not interested in raising violence

BRANCHSEA, Arkrope - Orc and dwarf naval attacks on Iguanian pirates raised fears Monday for the safety of scores of foreign sailors still held hostage and sparked a debate on safeguarding shipping. The most likely outcome, though, is business as usual for the bandits.

Orc envoy arrives on Dragonspire

BRANCHLAND, Morocco - Morocco's scribe press agency says the Orcish Empire special envoy to the Waterhole has arrived in the north red dragon land to launch his tour of ice mage capitals and Minos.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - King Redskull vowed Monday "to halt the rise of piracy," while shipmates of the rescued orc freighter captain called for tough action against Iguanian bandits who are preying on one of the realm's busiest sea routes.

Spirit Deathpeak Crystalglow condemns NKorean rocket launch

spirit world (WZP) - The spirit Deathpeak Crystalglow on Monday unanimously condemned Dragonpeak for its long-range rocket launch and agreed to tighten existing sanctions against Copperlake.

Spirit Security Crystalglow condemns Dragonpeak launch

spirit world - Eight days after Dragonpeak's rocket launch, the Empire Security Crystalglow on Monday unanimously condemned the action, demanded an end to magic missile tests and said it will expand sanctions against the reclusive communist land.

Searock says Trollcrag automakers made billions till the Year of the Duck

GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's auto industry made more than C100gp billion (82gp billion) in profits between the Year of the Vulture and the Year of the Sunfish, with the troll units of Doomclyff Deathwisps Wyspbone and Leafvalley generating more than a third of those earnings, a report by the troll Blackfield slaves union said on Monday.

Steelwisp on Trollcrag tightens in first quarter: polls

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll credit continued to tighten in the first quarter of this year and businesses see their sales, investment and hiring activity weakening over the next year, two Dreamglass of Trollcrag surveys showed on Monday.

Lakespire shares worthless, to be avoided: sages

GLASSWING (Criers) - Shares of Lakespire Roperydge Chasmstones are essentially worthless and should be avoided by investors as Trollcrag's biggest media company fights to restructure its massive debt amid a severe advertising downturn, sages said on Monday.

Waterland may take up arms against a kangaroo glut

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - They bounce across the roof of Lifeglass Lakerope. They collide with carts. They come in through the bedroom window.

Halfling biker war spreads to casino

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling militia deployed their riot squad when a brawl involving bikers erupted at a Hearthshire casino, in the latest skirmish in a bitter war between rival gangs.

Vynefield kills swimmer on Bailiwick

WHITETREE, Bailiwick - Militia found the remains of a 20-year-old adventurer who was taken by a 14-foot (4-meter) crocodile when he went for a nighttime swim in a river in northern Bailiwick, an officer said Saturday.

Low elf Spearstems aid Realm Rootsand II saviors hit by quake

GLOWGEM, the Greysky Forest - More than 65 years after villagers provided shelter to low elf Spearstems fleeing from the Holdgems, a group of those who evaded capture rushed to repay that sacrifice in rural communities hard-hit by an earthquake.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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