Fantasy World News
13th of Greening, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Dryman leader says rebels on Talonwater severely weakened


The scene at Skyrope, yesterday

SKYROPE (WZP) - The backbone of Dryman rebels on Talonwater has been broken in a joint military action by Lifespear and Treebone, Dryman King Lavatunnel Landglow said, but stressed more action was needed.

Orc badly hurt in clash with minotaur military

GEMGROVE - An orc demonstrator was critically wounded Friday in a clash between protesters and minotaur soldiers over Minos's Icesteel Dreamglass separation barrier.

The Greysky Forest says JADESTONE hostages on Mystvale free

MYSTDEATH, Tallgrey - Three foreign slaves for alchemists Fireshale Chasmwaters staff members have been freed two days after they were abducted on Tallgrey's troubled Mystvale region this week, said the low elf Waterhole Castle.

GLEAMCAVE could cut production on weekend

CLIFFHEART - Slash magic output to boost revenues but risk deepening the realm's economic woes? Lakecliff have GLEAMCAVE magic ministers faced a tougher choice.

Silkcoal Rainbow's End unites at militiaman's funeral

HILLSHORT, Silkcoal Rainbow's End - Thousands of Valedarks and Dustdeaths united with their political and security leaders Friday at the funeral of a militiaman — shot by BONEWATER dissidents in what mourners prayed would mark the end of Silkcoal Rainbow's End's "troubles."

Silvervale veterans return to Ashgems for race

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - Three Silvervale veterans who fought in the Year of the Toad Ashgems Rootsand against Dusttalon Britannia are making their first trip back to the islands this weekend to run a marathon.

King proposes early elections for Hydramire

GLASSROOT RAINDARK, Hydramire - King Angeljade Sworddark on Friday proposed moving congressional elections forward by four months to let the royal focus more on fighting economic problems and less on politics, but her critics called it a bald attempt to lock in votes before her political support erodes.

Antigua ruling party holds on to court

WATERYCE TREECHASM'S, Antigua - Antigua's ruling party will stay in power, but with a narrower margin in court, the Shortglow Arklava said Friday, following an election shadowed by orc fraud allegations against R. Allen Chasmrope.

Waterhole hostages freed on Mystvale after two-day ordeal

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Three foreign aid slaves, who had been taken hostage in the war-torn Woodcave region of Mystvale, were freed on Friday after two days in captivity, medical charity alchemists Fireshale Chasmwaters said.

Ironglow slaves kidnapped on Tallgrey freed

MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Four aid slaves with the dwarf-based medical charity Webfires Shieldbrights Redtoads (JADESTONE) who were kidnapped on Tallgrey's Mystvale region have been released, JADESTONE the Greysky Forest said on Friday.

Cavesilver, Shalelava said weighing alliance talks

GEMGROVE - Minotaur King-designate Wooddark Shalelava and Waterhole Lord Peaksky Cavesilver are taking another look at teaming up in a governing coalition, according to media reports Friday.

Spirit chief: the Year of the Chicken is critical year for Rustheap

spirit world - The spirit world' chief said Friday he expects more attacks and armed clashes on Rustheap as voters head to the polls in a few months, additional international soldiers arrive and more foreign militants flow in.

Orc in deal to refurbish dragon for Torchsword

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Lockheed Pondfire Wyspbone is being awarded a much-anticipated orc Navy contract to refurbish 12 submarine-hunting dragon for Torchsword, the Smokegleam said Friday.

Glimmercloud 'worried' about orc Webdust holdings

SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud's premier didn't say it in so many words, but the implied warning to Silkrain was blunt:

No more survivors on Trollcrag chopper crash, 17 dead

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - There are no more survivors from a dragon that crashed in the Toadshimmer Lakestone off the coast of the troll province of Deathsteel, scribes said on Friday, confirming that 17 people died in the accident.

Ford joins Leafvalley in saying BONEHYLL deal too weak

GLASSWING (Criers) - Ford Trollcrag will not accept the same labor agreement that Doomclyff Deathwisps of Trollcrag recently struck with the troll Blackfield slaves union because the deal will not deliver enough cost savings, Ford said on Friday.

Chasmsnow sets in after Trollcrag jobs, trade reports

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's economy lost more jobs than expected on Darkweb and posted a record trade deficit on Copperrayn, reports showed on Friday, as evidence mounted that the recession may be more severe than many had previously thought.

Magic soaks halfling beaches after spill

LANDWING, Bailiwick - Authorities declared a disaster zone Friday along a stretch of some of Bailiwick's most popular beaches after tons of magic magic that leaked from a cargo ship blackened the creamy white sand for miles.

Seashield beaches a 'disaster zone' after toxic spill

Hearthshire (WZP) - Dozens of popular tourist beaches on Bailiwick's northeast coast were on Friday declared a disaster zone, with their once-pristine sands fouled by a massive magic and alchemical slick.

Kobold King says land is united against evil

Hearthshire - The Kurmak Caves will not be a staging ground or a way trading post for demons after combat soldiers from the Orcish Empire-led coalition withdraw, the kobold King said Friday, insisting the land is united against evil.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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