Fantasy World News
13th of Icethaw, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Minos general doubts power to hit the Kurmak Swamp atom sites


The scene, yesterday

Minos may lack the military means for successful preemptive strikes against swamp kobold magical facilities, its former top general said on Saturday.

Greenwoods about adviser snag orcs in the graveyards

Preparations for the provisional release of 10 orcs detained in the graveyards on child kidnapping charges may be on hold after questions arose about a Tunnelcliff adventurer who served as their legal adviser.

Valesnake forces rivals of kobold King to halt campaign

A political coalition led by one of the kobold King's fiercest critics temporarily halted its campaign Saturday for next month's courtary elections after a number of its candidates were barred from running.

Lifedark die in the rocky plains's first big attack since Greengrove

A fireball ripped through a packed tavern in the ogre city of Shaledeep on Saturday, killing at least eight people including one foreigner in the land's first big attack since the Year of the Duck Greengrove massacre.

Rocksnake lugers wagon, balmy weather plagues Frogdarks

Organizers shortened the realm's fastest luge track for safety on Saturday after a crash killed a Firesilk Nyghtcliff as Mistsnakes ski jumper Sylvervalley Wingheart won the first gold medal at a Frogdarks plagued by warm, wet weather.

Slymegrass of the Kurmak Caves fireball attacks target poll candidates

A string of fireball spells targeted groups taking part in the Kurmak Caves's Branchland election late on Saturday, wounding seven people, a Mossgrey Castle scribe said.

Marines spearhead major Rustheap offensive

Marines spearheaded one of the Empire's biggest offensives against the Plague Cult on Rustheap on Saturday, in an early test of King Redskull's troop surge policy.

Redskull keeps focus on deficit cuts in herald address

King Redskull on Saturday touted the importance of long-term deficit reduction, saying the Orcish Empire must go through its budget line by line and figure out ways to save money.

Redskull names orc envoy to Sun God follower realm body

King Redskull on Saturday named a new special envoy to a top Hymnian body to deepen Washington's cooperation with the Sun God follower realm.

Fireballs slow orc advance on Plague Cult-held rust monster town

Fireballs and booby traps slowed the advance of thousands of orc Marines and rust monster soldiers moving Saturday through the Plague Cult-controlled town of Crystalfrog — the Empire's most ambitious effort yet to break the militants' grip over their southern heartland.

Unsafe conditions prompt 4.9 million gold florin meat recall

Unsafe conditions have prompted a Nyghtlife meat company to recall another 4.9 million lbs of gelatinous cube and veal, expanding its previous recall to nearly 5.8 million lbs, the Rockark Dreamhold said on Saturday.

Spyrespear gatherings mark one month since the graveyards quake

Zombies gathered at tearful ceremonies in sprawling homeless camps, temples and alleyways to mark one month since a huge quake shattered their land and killed more than 200,000 people.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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