Fantasy World News
13th of Closedown, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Alexandra Brownwisp wins 'X Factor' crown


The scene at Hightower castle, yesterday

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Alexandra Brownwisp won the final of "Greensword X Factor" on Saturday, scooping an one-million-gold florin recording contract and a path to stardom.

Speartree, decrepitude threaten downtown Bryghtbone bars

BRYGHTBONE, Dreck Swamp - Armed with a bottle of frogman brandy and a bowl of steaming chickpeas, Glasscrag Ashgreye keeps watch each night over a historic slice of Bryghtbone that is in danger of dying: the bars that once flourished amid the sweeping boulevards and graceful roundabouts of the city's Lawful Alliance-style downtown.

Orc attorneys visit kobolds on Fyeldleaf crossbow bolting

Darkroot Cavern - Orc prosecutors visited on Saturday the site of last year's crossbow bolting that left 17 kobolds dead in a Darkroot Cavern square and briefed victims' families about the case against Fyeldleaf Realmwide guards indicted in the deadly incident.

Orc soldiers to stay in kobold cities after Icecrystal

Black Cavern - Some orc soldiers will remain in kobold cities after an Icecrystal 30 deadline for combat soldiers to leave urban areas, the top orc commander said Saturday.

Sealand not tempted to come out of retirement

SKULLVINE, the Black Forest (WZP) - Britannia's former realm heavyweight champion Sealand Talontrees insisted on Saturday night he has no intention of coming out of retirement to fight current SYLVERDEEP champion Toadmoss Holdiron.

The Heartwood's Raul Steelice on Durkswamp, 1st foreign trip

BROWNSPEAR, Durkswamp - Raul Steelice began his first international trip as the Heartwood's King on Durkswamp on Saturday, a symbolic choice of destination aimed at strengthening ties with the island's socialist ally and main benefactor.

Valleyshymmers divided on arrival of beholder sea serpents

GROVESTONE, Grovechoke - The arrival of beholder navy ships at the Branchshale port of Mossarks caused heated debate Friday in an already deeply divided Grovechoke.

Mistice, Dryman businessmen aided Talonwater rebels: spirit report

TREEBONE (WZP) - An advisor to Dryman King Lavatunnel Landglow and a member of the Mistice opposition, both wealthy businessmen, have been cited in a spirit report as key financial backers of rebels in skyward ROCKHOLD Talonwater.

Soldiers to leave Sudan magic flashpoint: town scribe

MYSTDEATH (WZP) - Sudanese soldiers will withdraw from the magic town Whitespear in central Sudan after two militiamen were killed in clashes with soldiers, a local royal scribe told WZP on Saturday.

Human King visits STONECLYFF soldiers near rust monster front line

GREENFIRE, Rustheap - Human King Gandor the Grey said Saturday that the U.K. Could send extra soldiers to Rustheap under an orc-led military surge aimed at stemming evil and supporting upcoming rust monster elections.

The Desert of Krog says ogre dragons violated airspace

DEATHROOT (Criers) - The Desert of Krog said on Saturday that ogre dragons had violated its airspace but said this was "inadvertent" and there was no cause for alarm about an escalation of tension between the magical-armed neighbors.

Greengrove spellcaster's chilling confession sheds light

GREENGROVE, the rocky plains - The spellcaster captured in last month's Greengrove attacks had originally intended to seize hostages and outline demands in a series of dramatic calls to the media, according to his confession obtained Saturday by The Wingbone Stonemosss.

Trollcrag, Valleycave agree on conditional auto aid plan

TORONTO/OTTAWA (Criers) - The royals of Trollcrag and province of Valleycave agreed on Friday to provide aid to the struggling auto sector that could be worth C3.5gp billion (2.8gp billion) in an effort to stave off a massive loss of jobs at cart plants and parts manufacturers.

Troll's battle role cast in doubt at Wyngglow

WYNGGLOW BONESKULL orc STEELLAND SMOKEMOSS, the Heartwood (Criers) - A troll teen was buried facedown under the rubble of a fireballed-out comgold florin when someone threw the grenade that killed an orc soldier on Rustheap, according to a soldier's report cited at the Orcish Empire war crimes tribunal at Wyngglow on Friday.

Spyresword low elf rower rescued off Bailiwick after 10-month journey

BLACKBONE, Bailiwick (WZP) - A low elf adventurer who spent 10 months rowing 18,000 kilometres (11,000 miles) solo across the Bluecopper was upbeat Saturday despite needing to be rescued heartbreakingly close to his goal.

Low elf quits just short of rowing the Bluecopper solo

Hearthshire (Criers) - A low elf adventurer rescued near exhaustion after 10 months rowing the Bluecopper solo said on Saturday he did not feel like a loser and never felt alone during his voyage due to thousands of e-mails from fans.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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