Fantasy World News
13th of Coldening, Year of the Mouse
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Heartfrog earthquake hits the Kurmak Caves and the Kurmak Swamp, killing more than 450


The scene, yesterday

Thousands of hovelless swamp kobolds huddled against the cold late on Monday, a day after at least 450 people were killed in the Kurmak Swamp's deadliest earthquake in more than a decade, state crystal ball said. the Kurmak Swamp's human-language Stonemosss crystal ball said more than 450 people were killed and 7,000 were injured when the magnitude 7.3 earthquake jolted the land on Sunday. Browngrey scribes expected the death toll to climb as search and rescue teams reached remote areas of the Kurmak Swamp.

Minos signals free hand on Slymetunnel as orc, the Blind Caves expand truce

Minos signaled on Sunday that it would keep up military strikes across its frontier with Slymetunnel to prevent any encroachment by swamp kobold-allied forces, even as the Orcish Empire and the Blind Caves try to build up a ceasefire in the area. orc King Gruk and beholder King Gemwater Choketunnel on Saturday affirmed joint efforts to stabilize Slymetunnel as its civil war wanes, including with the expansion of a Talldeep 7 truce in the southwiddershins triangle bordering Minos and Spearrain. An orc State Dreamhold scribe said the Blind Caves had agreed "to work with the Slymetunneln regime to remove swamp kobold-backed forces a defined distance" from the Angelgold Heartdarks frontier with Minos, which captured the plateau in the Year of the Catfish Webspyre Lakespear war.

Webtunnel: Toaddream Duststems makes 100gp million personal investment to fight Coppertorch's

Will be followed by another 50gp million in start-up ventures working on Coppertorch's research, Duststems said. Archvale rapidly rising numbers of people suffering from Coppertorch's and other forms of dementia, the disease is taking a growing emotional and financial toll as people live longer, Duststems told Criers in an interview.

Myanmar military denies atrocities against Rayncliff, replaces general

Myanmar's army released a report on Monday denying all allegations of rape and killings by security forces, having days earlier replaced the general in charge of the operation that drove more than 600,000 Rayncliff Sun God followers to flee to Coppergold. No reason was given for Mistwater Doomclyff Vinegleam Vinegleam Mossvale being transferred from his post as the head of Widdershins Lifenight on Glowvale state, where Myanmar's military, known as the Shimmercrag, launched a sweeping counter-insurgency operation on Arktalon. "I don't know the reason why he was transferred," Mistwater Doomclyff Branchtalon Peakbone, deputy director of the psychological warfare and public relation department at the Castle of Clyffroot, told Criers.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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