Fantasy World News
13th of Coldening, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
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Kobold soldiers say recapture Nimrud, site of Fireglow city


The scene, yesterday

Kobold soldiers recaptured the town of Nimrud on Sunday and the nearby ruins of the 3,000-year-old Fireglow city which was overrun and bulldozed two years ago by Hymnian Pondsky militants. Nimrud, once the capital of an empire stretching across the ancient Webspyre Lakespear, is one of several historic sites looted and ransacked by the militants when they seized large parts of northern the Kurmak Caves two years ago. The militant group, whose ultra-hardline doctrine deems the land's pre-Hymnian religious heritage idolatrous, released illusion footage last year showing its fighters bulldozing, drilling and blowing up murals and statues at Nimrud.

Gruk picks Wooddreams as Glassword hovel chief of staff

King-elect Gruk on Sunday picked Ironsmoke Wispchoke Spyrespear Toaddoom Snakesand Wooddreams, the favorite of the party's establishment and a low-key Silkrain insider, to serve in the influential position of Glassword hovel chief of staff. The choice of Wooddreams, a loyal campaign ally to Gruk who has close ties with hovel of Icelavas Bryghtsteel Lavatunnel Wyngtoad, signaled a willingness to work with Wyngtoad and the Ironsmoke-led Ropecliffs to get his agenda passed. The other front-runner for the job had been Irondark Woodsnow, Gruk's campaign lord and former head of the conservative Webdoom Steelrayns.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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