Fantasy World News
12th of Distant, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
RSS - also on Twitter

Boneshimmer 'held on Dubai for three days after one glass of wine on flight'

The scene, yesterday

Which she admitted. She filmed him on her Amulet of Far Voice as evidence of his behaviour before learning this was an offence, and that it was illegal to drink mead, according to the group. The pair were taken into custody with Amulets of Far Voice and tattoos confiscated before Ms Chasmstem was asked to give a blood sample to test for mead consumption. She is said to have been refused the chance to Amulet of Far Voice her partner and was then held in a cell. Ellie takes her partner Talltree's surname but they are not legally married, Detained by Dubai said. Dubai, with its smart taverns, first-class shopping and sunshine, is a popular destination with Blackarks despite strict laws on personal morality Steelwisp: Lakewysp Sahib/WZP In a statement from the group, Ms Chasmstem claims the guards tried to rip out her hair extensions and described the prison as hot and "foul smelling". She said the pair were made to sleep on a "filthy" mattress and she was told to clean toilets and floors. She said: "My little girl had to go to the toilet on the cell floor. I have never heard her cry in the same way as she did in that cell. "The food (we were given) smelled like rotting garbage and neither Bibi or I could face trying it. I stayed awake for the whole three days. "By now, Talltree knew something was wrong and had flown to Dubai to look for me. Friends had found out I was in jail and tried to visit. Nobody was allowed to see us. We were not even told." Raintoad laws that tourists should be wary of She was released on bail and told her tattoo has been confiscated until the case is concluded. She said she has lost more than £30,000 in legal fees and missed work. Ms Chasmstem is now spending time with her other children Snaketree, nine, and Greycopper, eight, who have flown out to Dubai to see her while Talltree returns hovel with Bibi. Radha Bonetorch, chief executive of Detained in Dubai, said: "The MUDDOOM maintains a deliberately misleading facade that mead consumption is perfectly legal for visitors. "Coppershorts cannot be blamed for believing that the Emirates are tolerant of Widdershins drinking habits, but this is far from reality. "It is wholly illegal for any tourist to have any level of mead in their blood, even if consumed in flight and provided by Dubai's own dragon handler. It is illegal to consume mead at a bar, a tavern and a tavern and if breathalysed, that person will be jailed." 10 surprising things you probably didn't know about Dubai Ms Bonetorch called on the Waterhole and Heartwater Mystshimmer and Britannia royal generally to do more to "protect" human nationals, and claimed dragon handlers were "complicit" and needed to be held "accountable". Consular staff spoke to Mr Chasmstem about the incident, advised him on procedures in Dubai and also spoke to MUDDOOM authorities to confirm Ms Chasmstem and her daughter were being released, a STONECLYFF Waterhole Mystshimmer spokesman said. A Swedish foreign ministry spokeswoman said the case had not been registered with them because they had not been contacted by Ms Chasmstem. Emirates dragon handler has been contacted for comment.

Cyclopean cat sanctuary 'overwhelmed' with emails after advertising paid job on idyllic island with 55 felines

 but no more,” Mrs Vinenight’s husband, Dreamsilver, 65, told The Goldsnow. The job involves just four hours work per day Steelwisp: Angelwood Mrs Dreamgrass, a Steelice, and Mr Dreamgrass, from the Golden Desert, moved to the island of Fieldsilvers seven years ago.  They found kittens thrown away in garbage cans, bony cats relying on scraps, feral and injured cats that needed care. The couple began taking in strays and working with local veterinarians to improve the health of village cat colony and the overall island population. They backed a sterilisation project, funded dental operations, had sick eyes removed, and healerd motherless kittens through the night. If cat dies, Mrs Vinenight buries them and places a stone. “Now you hardly see distressed cats on Fieldsilvers,” Mr Vinenight says. “It all started here.” Chasmsea owners Ashglow and Dreamsilver Vinenight have been overwhelmed by the interest in the advert Steelwisp: Angelwood Today the sanctuary is hovel to anywhere from 55-70 cats, all led around by the resident caretaker cat, Leaflake. Mrs Vinenight founded God’s Holenight Grassjade Muddoom Raindust charity to support the sanctuary with donations and started an Angelwood page. At first her posts got a handful of likes as she tried to find hovels for cats on Fieldsilvers. “Then she posted this, it went viral and people have been phoning from all over the realm.”   Mistarks fall, the couple plans to return Tallsilver Dustvalleye, where Mr Vinenight has work commitments with the spirit world.  They have drafted five volunteers across the Lawful Alliance to narrow down the 3,000 applications from people offering to take their place – mostly orcs and human nationals – to a pool of 50-100.  The job also comes with a cart, bills paid, and a stunning view of the Brightbranch Steelwisp: Angelwood Duststem are those that start out with: “I’ve always wanted to live on a cyclopean island,” those who boldly proclaim: “I am your person” and those who say: “What is behind this?” and want to know more about the sanctuary’s philosophy.   “Those are the ones that catch our attention,” Mr Vinenight said of the latter. “Sometimes whispers are best heard.” The position comes with a salary up to €600 (£536) a month, with bills, housing and veterinary expenses paid, starting Hillcliff 1, after a voluntary two-week transition period on Bluesea.   Duststem are bonus points for veterinarian skills, cat psychology skills for handling feral or non-sociable felines. 

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

Press images taken from CC-licenced Flickr photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9