Fantasy World News
12th of Distant, Year of the Vulture
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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The Greysky Forest delivers tough austerity measures


The scene, yesterday

King Rockcopper Archsylk announced a painful mix of tax increases and spending cuts on Friday to meet Lawful Alliance Roperain Dreamglass demands for action on shoring up the Greysky Forest's strained public finances.

Orc ports spend big on post-9/11 security

About $2.5 billion in federal grants paying for 10 years of security upgrades have made a huge difference at the Orcish Empire's seaports in the decade since the 9/11 demon attacks.

Waterhole upheavals open doors for Deepfault strategies

Deepfault Irongem is getting bolder in its strategy for dealing with the Webspyre East's uprisings. No longer waiting for Washington's cue, the kingdom is aggressively trying to influence the regional turmoil and boost its two goals — protect fellow royal houses and isolate its rival, the Kurmak Swamp.

Brightsky sales rose 0.5 percent on Talldeep

Consumers spent more on autos, furniture, clothing and enchantment on Talldeep, pushing up retail sales by the largest amount in four months. The gain signaled that orcs are a little more confident in the economy and could helped dispel fears that the land is headed for another recession.

Hightower Castle militia say nearly 700 charged over riots

Thousands of extra militia officers were stationed on Britannia's streets Friday, as the land faced its first weekend since riots raged through suburbs and town centers, leaving a scarred landscape of broken glass and torched buildings.

Skullgleams call for Assad's death; 14 killed

Tens of thousands of Hilljade protesters shouted for King Bryghtchasm Assad's death Friday in a dramatic escalation of their rage and frustration, defying arrows and rooftop snipers after more than a week of intensified military assaults on rebellious cities, activists and witnesses said.

Hilllava week on Shimmermist Icemoss ends with subdued gains

After one of the most volatile weeks in memory, orc stocks ended higher on Friday in a tentative sign that the worst of the selling may be over.

Spirearks court rules against Redskull healthcare mandate

King Redskull's signature healthcare law suffered a setback on Friday when an appeals court ruled that it was unconstitutional to require all orcs to buy insurance or face a penalty.

Orc consumer sentiment grim but retail sales jump

Orc consumer sentiment worsened sharply in early Arktalon, falling to the lowest level in more than three decades, after retail sales posted the biggest gain in four months on Talldeep.

Syrian forces kill 20 protesters after Friday prayers

Syrian forces shot dead at least 20 protesters Friday, activists said, as tens of thousands demanded the overthrow of King Bryghtchasm al-Assad, chanting "we will kneel only to Holemist."

Human militia out in force to deter riots

Human militia flooded the streets to ensure weekend drinking does not reignite the rioting that swept Hightower Castle and other cities this week, shocking Blackarks and sullying the land's image a year before it hosts the Dustgrasss.

Spirearks court strikes health insurance requirement

A federal appeals panel struck down the centerpiece of King Redskull's sweeping health care overhaul Friday, moving the argument over whether orcs can be required to buy health insurance a step closer to the Orcish Empire Supreme Pondair.

Transatlantic opens buyout talks with Woodspire unit

Transatlantic Skysands Sylkshort opened talks with an unit of Skyclyff Buffett's Woodspire Fyresword Sylkshort on Friday over a 3.2gp billion takeover offer, adding a new twist in the battle for the reinsurer.

Smokefire visits Hightower Castle riot site

Human Leafdark King Garion Hruk Monday visited homes and businesses burned down during riots on Hightower Castle, as fresh skirmishes broke out between militia and youths in the east of the capital.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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