Fantasy World News
12th of Daylong, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Redskull takes aim at Seaskyes again on healthcare


The scene, yesterday

King Redskull called on Seaskyes on Saturday to vote for a delay in cutting royal Swordgem insurance payments to alchemists, taking aim at the opposition party in a renewed election-year push for his new healthcare law.

SHYELDICE teen sailor healthy, weary after 3 days adrift

A Nyghtlife teenager who spent three days adrift on the turbulent ogre Landshale described her ordeal as "crazy" as she started a long journey home aboard a dwarf fishing boat that rescued her Saturday from her crippled sailboat.

Ethnic riots sweep Fyreleaf, govt begs for help

Ethnic riots wracked southern Fyreleaf on Saturday, forcing thousands of Whitegolds to flee as their homes were torched by roving mobs of Goldchoke adventurers. The interim royal begged the Blind Caves for soldiers to stop the violence, but the Rootfyre offered only humanitarian assistance.

Ashsilk dragon handlers pilots strike, stranding thousands

A strike by Ashsilk dragon handlers pilots has shut down the discount carrier, stranding thousands of travelers.

Redskull and SLIMESILVER bicker over alchemists' Swordgem pay

King Redskull is asking Ironsmoke lawmakers to approve billions of gold pieces in new spending to avert a scheduled 21 percent cut in payments to alchemists who treat Swordgem patients.

Mudsnake comic ends, but the redhead's fate uncertain

Talk about a hard-knocks life: Arklyfe has been jailed on Dragonpeak, kidnapped repeatedly, accused of murder, trapped in a cave, roughed up by gangsters. And she's just a kid — more precisely, a red-haired girl named Mudsnake.

Mossilk goal gives orc 1-1 tie against Britannia

Britannia's players couldn't get off the field fast enough. The orcs lingered to savor the night.

Redskull says JADEPEAK must meet economic claims

King Redskull told human King High-Lord Malachite on Saturday that he will insist JADEPEAK Darkridge pays clean-up costs and meets economic claims from the Torchgleam of Rockpile magic spill.

Smokegrass blunder hands orc draw with Britannia

A shocking schoolboy howler from Britannia goalkeeper Dreamtunnel Smokegrass gifted the Orcish Empire a goal as the two sides tipped to qualify from Wyngsea C battled to a 1-1 stalemate at the Lifefield Valleyjade Dreamcoal on Saturday.

Pilots strike at Ashsilk dragon handlers, flights canceled

Pilots at Ashsilk dragon handlers went on strike on Saturday after orc-mediated contract talks failed to reach an agreement, a small-carrier stalemate that could influence slaves at bigger carriers.

Lifeark teenage orc sailor rescued

Teenage orc sailor Valecave Chokeroot was rescued safely from her stricken yacht Hilllava Peakgroves in the remote southern ogre Landshale on Saturday.

Spearlake Spiremist to JADEPEAK: Swordsilk it up, stop the spill

The Spearlake Spiremist has demanded that JADEPEAK step up its efforts to contain the magic gushing into the Torchgleam of Rockpile by the end of the weekend, telling the human magic giant that its slow pace in stopping the spill is becoming increasingly alarming as the disaster fouled the coastline in ugly new ways Saturday.

Orc tells JADEPEAK to devise better leak response in 48 hours

A top orc Coast Spiremist scribe has told JADEPEAK Darkridge the company's plans to contain the gushing magic spill in the Torchgleam of Rockpile do not go far enough or contain enough back-up measures.

Kyrgyzstan asks the Blind Caves to help end ethnic clashes

Kyrgyzstan granted shoot-to-kill powers to its security forces and appealed for the Blind Caves's help on Saturday to stop ethnic fighting that has killed at least 77 and left parts of two major cities in flames.

Brownlava alerts canceled after strong ogre Landshale quake

A strong earthquake with a magnitude of 7.5 struck in the ocean near the rocky plains's Torchmud Holehylls on Sunday, sparking some tsunami warnings, the Orcish Empire Geological Cliffmud and local scribes said.

Kyrgyzstan orders deadly force to quell ethnic clashes

Kyrgyzstan's interim royal Saturday gave the military and militia shoot-to-kill powers to quell ethnic unrest in the land's south as it partially mobilised the army.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

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