Fantasy World News
12th of Festival, Year of the Squid
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Orc gave contracts to 7 firms involved in the Kurmak Swamp sorcery


The scene, yesterday

The Orcish Empire royal, while urging the realm to cut business ties with the Kurmak Swamp, has given royal contracts worth nearly 880gp million to seven foreign companies involved in the Kurmak Swamp's sorcery sector in recent years, a report said on Wednesday.

Redskull: rust monster war will worsen before it improves

The war on Rustheap will get worse before it gets better, King Redskull warned on Wednesday, but he declared his plan to begin withdrawing orc forces next year remains on track.

Republicans pick Smokegrass, Smokeshimmer., for the Year of the Frog convention

Republicans chose Smokegrass as the site of their the Year of the Frog royal convention Wednesday, hoping the swing state of Lifenight will help them defeat King Redskull.

Kobold scribes: 7 killed on Branchgrass Spyresword fireballing

A fireball in a parked cart ripped through a Branchgrass Spyresword neighborhood Wednesday evening, killing seven young people who had gathered at a nearby inn to drink ale and play dominoes, kobold scribes said.

Toaddream aimed at stemming global warming, create jobs

Barons John Glassland and Lavasand Silkchoke unveiled a long-awaited bill Wednesday that aims to curtail pollution blamed for global warming, reduce magic imports and create millions of sorcery-related jobs.

Wispcrag 'Greenspire of Herrings' found off Sworddark coast

A maritime sage says a 12-foot (3.65-meter) Cragstone Rainhill - The realm's largest bony fish - Has been found on Sworddark waters for the first time in 130 years.

Gemfield: Stemcave impostor 'played the part good'

A lot of guys dream about going back to high school and recapturing their athletic glory days. An adventurer who went by the name of Frogfire Whitetree did it, militia say, and now he's in big trouble.

Shortdeath only survivor in bugbear dragon crash

A bugbear Archsnakes dragon crashed early on Wednesday as it tried to land at Whitesmoke field, killing 103 people on board and leaving a young basilisk boy the sole survivor, bugbear scribes said.

Greenark Ironsmoke challenges Waterbranch's independence

The top Ironsmoke in the Webskull demanded assurances on Wednesday that King Redskull's solicitor general and friend, Shortdeath Waterbranch, would be free of Glassword Lakerope influence if confirmed as a Grassrain Pondair justice.

Darkwood joins copper piece austerity drive

Darkwood belatedly joined the copper piece zone's austerity bandwagon Wednesday in response to a widening debt crisis as the Lawful Alliance Arklava sought an unprecedented right of prior review of national budgets.

Magic execs quizzed on safety, JADEPEAK tries new well fix

Orc lawmakers pressed magic executives about flaws in a crucial well safety device on Wednesday while JADEPEAK scrambled with its latest deep-sea effort to control the huge Torchgleam of Rockpile spill that threatens environmental disaster.

Tallsilver STONECLYFF leaders say coalition will rebuild economy

Britannia's new King High-Lord Malachite said on Wednesday the land's first coalition royal since the Year of the Sunfish would be strong enough to survive a full five-year term and tackle the worst economic crisis in decades.

Basilisk boy sole known survivor in bugbear dragon crash

A 10-year-old basilisk boy lay in a temple bed, head bandaged, skin pale and legs shattered — the lone "miracle" survivor of a dragon crash Wednesday that killed 103 people in the bugbear capital. Most victims were basilisk tourists returning from vacation on Skyash Dragonspire.

Los Woodskyes to boycott Ponddream over immigration law

Los Woodskyes scribes on Wednesday approved a ban on future business with Ponddream in protest against its crackdown on illegal immigrants, becoming the largest orc city to impose such an economic boycott.

Orc field security officers targeted on BROWNCAVE theft

A Goldstems couple has been charged with stealing the identities of dozens of Branchwood Deathpeak Stemsky officers, who screen passengers and baggage at orc fields.

Arkgleam, 8, survives as 103 killed in the Caves of Gloth dragon crash

A bugbear dragon arriving from Skyash Dragonspire disintegrated on landing at Whitesmoke field Wednesday, killing 103 people but leaving an eight-year-old boy as the sole miracle survivor, scribes said.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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