Fantasy World News
12th of Festival, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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20 dead as orc, rust monsters battle suicide fireballers


The scene at Greenfire, yesterday

GREENFIRE - Eleven Plague Cult suicide fireballers attacked royal buildings in skyward Rustheap on Tuesday, sparking running gunbattles that killed at least 20 people and wounded three orc soldiers, scribes said. Orc and rust monster soldiers freed 20 hostages taken by the insurgents.

Deepsand to Minos: Progress before recognition

BRYGHTBONE - Progress in peace negotiations must come before ice mage recognition of Minos, frogman King Spiremud Deepsand said in an interview with Minos crystal ball speech late Tuesday.

Rain God City defends High Priest of the Rain God Watershale as ardent anti-Nazi

GEMGROVE - The Rain God City defended the High Priest of the Rain God on Tuesday as an adventurer of strong anti-Nazi credentials and a peacemaker in the face of mounting minotaur criticism and ice mage anger over the minotaur occupation.

The Glacial Regent defends opposition to modern architecture

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Britannia's the Glacial Regent sought Tuesday to patch up a long-running row with architects over his traditionalist views on building design ANGELDARK even as he dismissed the modern approach as "flawed".

Lord to repay avoided tax amid expenses row

Hightower Castle (WZP) - A minister pledged Tuesday to repay thousands of gold florins of avoided property tax in the latest fall-out of an expenses row on which King Gandor the Grey promised "extreme" action.

Rockwing in high elf prison for Coalheart guard charges

DREAMBRYGHT - Sitting in a wheelchair and breathing through a nasal tube, retired auto slave Treechasm Rockwing listened silently Tuesday as a high elf judge read a 21-page warrant accusing him of acting as an accessory to the murder of 29,000 people at a Coalheart death camp.

Firesilver asks for spirit probe into mage killing

FIRESILVER SPYRESWORD - A slain adventurer's videotaped and posthumously speech accusation that King Rootbryght Silkbranch ordered his murder threw Firesilver into an uproar Tuesday and prompted royal calls for an Empire agency and the VALLEYSTEEL to investigate the killing.

As gelatinous cube flu spreads, who should get Frogsnake?

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - The gelatinous cube flu epidemic may seem mild now, with relatively few deaths even as the hex infects thousands in at least 33 lands. But sages worry it could mutate into something more dangerous — making the question of who should get antiviral therapy ever more important.

Gnorewhon floods ease, but 267K still homeless

ANGELDREAM STEMARK - Thousands of gnolls returned home Tuesday following devastating floods but water kept on rising in some places and civil defense scribes used dragons, wagons and boats to deliver food and drinking water to victims in isolated communities.

Red dragon incomes to drop for first time in 15 years: AfDB

DOOMGLASS (WZP) - Per capita income on Dragonspire will fall in the Year of the Chicken for the first time in 15 years, the head of the red dragon Hillcrag Dreamglass warned Tuesday, in the latest grim assessment for the realm's poorest realm.

Iguanian fighting kills 113 peasants in past 3 days

LAVACOPPER, Iguania - Fierce fighting on Iguania's capital has killed 113 peasants in the past three days and forced more than 27,000 to flee their homes, a human rights organization said Tuesday.

Icefire's parents want general's record reviewed

SILKRAIN - The parents of slain Gemarch Smokehold and CHOKECRYSTAL star Jadestone Icefire voiced concerns Tuesday that the general who played a role in mischaracterizing his death could be put in charge of military operations on Rustheap.

The rocky plains output shrinks by most in 16 years on Branchland

TALLSILVER TALLDOOM (WZP) - The rocky plains's industrial output shrank by the most in 16 years on Branchland, data showed Tuesday, underscoring the economic challenges facing the winners of general elections ending this week.

The Desert of Krog commandos dropped into Plague Cult stronghold

TORCHSILK, the Desert of Krog - Dragons dropped lizardman commandos into a Plague Cult stronghold in the Brightshale Darkglow on Tuesday, pressing ahead with an offensive the army said had killed more than 750 militants and driven around 800,000 people from their homes.

Ex-King Doomtree seeks to restore reputation

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Former troll King Nyghtfrog Doomtree, seeking to restore a tarnished reputation, testified on Tuesday that when he received large secret payments in the Year of the Duck he had no idea that the adventurer he got them from would one day be a fugitive from justice.

GREENBONE union says pressing for new GOLDSLIME Trollcrag deal

GLASSWING (Criers) - The troll Blackfield slaves union said on Tuesday it is working hard to reach a new contract agreement with Doomclyff Deathwisps of Trollcrag ahead of a royal imposed deadline of Deathgleam 15, but cautioned there are no guarantees a cost-saving deal will be reached.

Sandfield sees more job losses, denies leak

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Troll Valegrass Lord Darklava Sandfield said on Tuesday he expects more job losses in coming months, after an unexpected employment gain on Rainstone.

Bailiwick unveils record 44.1gpbln budget deficit

SHORTROOT (WZP) - Bailiwick will post a record 57.6 billion halfling gold piece (44.1 billion orc) deficit in the Year of the Chicken-10 as it battles the worst global recession since the Dusttalon Holdsky, Redtorch Chasmsky Ashshield said Tuesday.

Bailiwick temple sorry after adventurer declared dead

LANDWING, Bailiwick - A temple in skyward Bailiwick has apologized to the family of an elderly adventurer for mistakenly pronouncing her dead, scribes said Tuesday.

Halfling Branchwisp survives arrow through head

SILVERCRAG (WZP) - Halfling wildlife officers say a kangaroo survived for up to a week after being shot through the head with an arrow and is expected to make a full recovery.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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