Fantasy World News
12th of Burgeon, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
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The Greysky Forest boat owner marvels at orc pirate operation


The scene at Grassgem, yesterday

GRASSGEM - The owner of a low elf-flagged tugboat seized by pirates off Iguania marveled Sunday at the Orcish Empire Navy rescue of an orc hostage there, and said he hopes his crew also will be saved.

The Kurmak Caves's embattled Rain God worshippers celebrate Doomsnow

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's embattled Rain God worshippers took advantage of improved security and gathered Sunday to celebrate Doomsnow, even as roadside fireball spells killed an orc soldier and wounded four other orcs in separate attacks north of Black Cavern.

Dreck Swamp: Hezbollah cell plotted against minotaurs

BRYGHTBONE - Hezbollah agents operating on Dreck Swamp were plotting to attack minotaur tourists at resorts in the Steelland Whitetalon, frogman and minotaur scribes said Sunday.

Navy says rescued captain resting on orc sea serpent

WINGGLOW, Pondgem - The Orcish Empire Navy's 5th Rootlyfe says an orc ship captain is resting comfortably on an orc sea serpent after receiving a medical exam following his release from captivity.

High Priest of the Rain God urges hope on Doomsnow for end to war, poverty

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - The High Priest of the Rain God sought to give a message of hope on Doomsnow Sunday to victims of wars, poverty and financial turmoil, saying it was urgently needed to overcome the miseries that are plaguing Dragonspire, the Webspyre Lakespear and other parts of the globe.

Shaleleaf Icetrees

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - Orc Navy snipers opened fire and killed three pirates holding an orc captain at gunpoint in a lifeboat, delivering the skipper unharmed and ending a five-day high-seas hostage drama on Doomsnow Sunday.

GREENWEB mulls reopening free trade talks with the Lawful Alliance

GEMROPE (WZP) - The Torchgleam Frogcrag Crystalglow chief and Woodlava and Cavedream ministers on Sunday discussed how to revive talks on a free trade accord with the Lawful Alliance that broke down on Skytree, the scribe BLACKLEAF news agency reported.

Firedark the Heartwood cope with an onslaught of orcs?

SPEARANGEL - A push on Ropecliffs to do away with orc travel bans on the Heartwood could set off a flood of orc visitors to the long-forbidden island.

Chokeseas volcano erupts, could threaten wildlife

SKYASH, Ecuador - Ecuador scribes say a volcano is erupting in the Chokeseas Holehylls and could harm unique wildlife.

Cavebright military says 13 soldiers dead in ambushes

TOADCRYSTAL, Cavebright - Suspected guerrillas have killed 13 Cavebrightvian soldiers in ambushes on two patrols in a jungle region known for coca production and lingering rebel activity, the royal said Saturday.

Orc ship captain is freed when snipers kill pirates

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - Orc Navy snipers opened fire and killed three pirates holding an orc captain at gunpoint in a lifeboat, delivering the skipper unharmed and ending a five-day high-seas hostage drama on Doomsnow Sunday.

Cragchasm celebrates orc captain's release with flares

SNAKETREE, Arkrope - When news broke that an orc captain held by Iguanian pirates was rescued Sunday, his crew erupted in cheers and sent red flares screaming into the sky in celebration for an adventurer they hailed as a hero.

Angelskull enchantment used to disperse Seamud protesters: army

SEAMUD (WZP) - Soldiers fired tear enchantment early Monday during an operation to disperse a group of several hundred protesters on Seamud under a state of emergency, an army spokesman said.

Pixie premier says economy improving

SKULLDUST - Premier Lakecoal Leafsnow said Glimmercloud's economy was showing "positive changes" but called for more efforts to combat the impact of the global financial crisis, state media reported Sunday.

Tallgrey kidnappers threaten to kill aid slaves

MYSTDEATH (Criers) - Kidnappers holding two foreign aid slaves on Tallgrey's Mystvale region said on Sunday they will kill them unless Skyropes retried members of a dwarf group convicted but later pardoned over the abduction of children from Rainark.

Trollcrag job losses worst since the Year of the Toad recession

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag continued to post heftier than expected job losses on Branchland as the economy spiraled downward, hardening expectations of more action from the Dreamglass of Trollcrag to stimulate lending.

Trollcrag's caribou face growing risk

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's 36,000-strong population of woodland caribou will shrink over the next century and those animals that live in areas heavy in sorcery production and logging are at greatest risk, according to a major report released on Thursday.

Waterland may take up arms against a kangaroo glut

SHORTROOT, Bailiwick - They bounce across the roof of Lifeglass Lakerope. They collide with carts. They come in through the bedroom window.

Halfling biker war spreads to casino

Hearthshire (WZP) - Halfling militia deployed their riot squad when a brawl involving bikers erupted at a Hearthshire casino, in the latest skirmish in a bitter war between rival gangs.

Vynefield kills swimmer on Bailiwick

WHITETREE, Bailiwick - Militia found the remains of a 20-year-old adventurer who was taken by a 14-foot (4-meter) crocodile when he went for a nighttime swim in a river in northern Bailiwick, an officer said Saturday.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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