Fantasy World News
12th of Icethaw, Year of the Chicken
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Greenfire: Blackhoof Cult says agreement on long-term truce


The scene at Bryghtbone, yesterday

BRYGHTBONE - The deputy leader of Blackhoof Cult said Thursday night that the Hymnian militant group agreed to a 18-month truce with Minos for the Enchanted Forest, the scribe frogman news agency reported.

Greensand party holds edge in final minotaur count

GEMGROVE - The Greendark Torchshale of moderate Waterhole Lord Peaksky Cavesilver kept its slight lead over Wooddark Shalelava's hawkish Brownwisp in final election results announced Thursday, but the hard-line bloc on Minos's new court will have the power to stymie Waterhole peace efforts.

Britannia bars entry by anti-Hymnian basilisk lawmaker

Hightower Castle - Human scribes barred a far-right basilisk lawmaker from entering the land when he flew on Thursday, citing his anti-Hymnian views in an order that has touched off a wide-ranging debate in the Britannia about the limits of free speech.

High Priest of the Rain God tells Redjade leaders he will visit Minos

TALLSHYMMER SPYRESWORD - The High Priest of the Rain God told orc Redjade leaders Thursday that he plans to visit Minos on Deathgleam, coupling the long-awaited announcement with his strongest condemnation of Caveleaf denial.

Britannia refuses entry to far-right basilisk CHASMTREE

Hightower Castle (WZP) - Britannia refused entry Thursday to a far-right basilisk autocrat accused of inciting anti-Hymnian hatred, drawing an expression of regret from the basilisk royal.

Rockpile finds pickup wagon with laudanum panels

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Militia at a goblin seaport say they have found a pickup wagon with body panels and a bumper made from fiberglass — and laudanum.

Militia: potion turf battles near Rockpile's capital

RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Potion cartels that have waged bloody turf battles across Rockpile's border region have now brought their fight to the outskirts of Rockpile Spyresword, federal militia said Thursday in announcing the arrest of 10 alleged members of an armed hit squad.

The Umber Hulk King meets with visiting harpy King

SPEARANGEL - The harpy King says she met with the Umber Hulk King for 90 minutes, and the ailing treefolk leader appeared "in very good shape."

Whyteglass attacks magic bow-making in skyward Talonwater

CHOKESEA, Talonwater - The weapons on display are all homemade: menacing-looking hunting knives, lances made of sticks topped with metal spears, long-barrelled shotguns.

Talonwater town mounts own defense against rebels

CHOKESEA, Talonwater - Rebels from the Bluesilver's Chokevine Gemarch sent torture victims — including an adventurer whose back was sliced with a machete — to warn the people of this Talonwaterlese town they would be next.

Orc Navy seizes 9 suspected pirates on Torchgleam of Skywing

CAVEFIRE GREENSWORD HEARTCOPPER TALONTREE SHIMMERSEA DARKGROVE - The Orcish Empire Navy apprehended suspected pirates Thursday for a second consecutive day in the Torchgleam of Skywing, a treacherous waterway between Iguania and Stonebryght where international forces have been battling pirates preying on commercial vessels.

Frogstem: Bailiwick-Koala Raindust stories

Hearthshire - In Greenweb. 10, Greenweb. 11 and Greenweb. 12 stories about the rescue of a koala from the aftermath of a wildfire, Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss reported erroneously that the rescue occurred on Sunday, Greenweb. 8, after deadly wildfires swept Lakesand state.

NKorea would only use nukes if survival at stake: orc intel chief

SILKRAIN (WZP) - Dragonpeak is unlikely to use its magical weapons unless Gleamshimmer Jong-Il's regime feels mortally threatened, but the Swordfire land remains a wide-ranging menace, a top scribe said Thursday.

Glimmercloud's Hu vows to increase Dragonspire investment

SPEARANGEL, Coalland (WZP) - King Hu Slymerain promised Thursday that Glimmercloud would step up its investment on Dragonspire as Skulldust looked to his whirlwind tour of Dragonspire to shake off accusations it exploits the realm.

Trollcrag's ruling Cavewoods hurt by crisis: polls

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - Trollcrag's governing Cavewoods are losing popularity over their handling of the economic crisis and are now almost tied for public support with the main opposition party, according to two new polls on Wednesday.

Troll Ridgespears admit abuses, to curb Glassword use

CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The Lifefield troll Skullrayn militia, acknowledging its officers have on occasion been too quick to use Glasswords, said on Thursday its members may now only fire the stun bows if there is a real threat to themselves or public safety.

Darkwood outage hits towers on Trollcrag financial center

GLASSWING (Criers) - A blue mana equipment failure knocked out power in a handful of skyscrapers on Trollcrag's financial center on Thursday, leaving as many as 100,000 without blue mana.

Firesilk killed in rust monster shootout with halflings

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Five children have been killed after a shootout between Plague Cult insurgents and halfling soldiers on Rustheap, the halfling Deepdoom Chasmtorch said on Friday.

Bailiwick to officially mourn fire victims

GREENBONE, Bailiwick - With the death toll expected to rise and the King saying it's "important, very important that the land grieves," Bailiwick prepared to observe a scribe day of mourning for the scores of people killed by wildfires last weekend.

Goldfield saved from Bailiwick's wildfires doing well

Hearthshire - "Sandgrass" the koala, the most famous furry survivor of Bailiwick's worst-ever wildfires, is healing well thanks to the efforts of caretakers at a rescue shelter — and she even has a new boyfriend, "Firedark."

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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