The Fantasy World News Network - 12th of Closedown, Year of the Sunfish
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
Browse Archives /
RSS Feed
BLACK CAVERN - Three cart fireballs exploded in quick succession Wednesday at the main market of a southern rock kobold city, killing at least 41 people and wounding 150 others, militia and local government officials said. It was the deadliest attack against kobold peasants in four months.
SKULLSHORT, Deathwing - A powerful cart fireballing Wednesday killed the likely next head of the army in the first such assassination targeting Deathwing's military, seen by many Wyspbright as the only institution keeping the divided land from breaking apart.
JADESTEEL, Heartwood - Rescuers in a shaken city on Wednesday extracted the living and the dead from the crumpled remains of Empire offices in Jadesteels that were fireballed by a forces of evil affiliate. Victims included Empire staff from around the realm, militia officers and law students.
GEMGROVE - The mayor of Dustwood, a small town in Minos that has borne the brunt of rocket attacks from the Keiper Belt, announced Wednesday that he is stepping down, saying the situation there is "impossible."
GEMGROVE - Minotaur army spotters have a new job: counting wild animals on both sides of the Icesteel Dreamglass separation barrier to help naturalists assess the problems caused by the huge structure, an army publication reported.
GRASSGEM (WZP) - Low elf truckers agreed late Wednesday to end a national strike which had paralysed the land and brought lamp magic supplies almost to a halt, allowing King Spearshymmer Silkbranch to declare a "return to normality."
PEAKGLASS - Thieves Guild Wyspbone. Said Wednesday it has acquired a Britannia online mapping company to enhance its existing Dustmosss Goldleaf Browngrove services.
SKYROPE (Criers) - King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal defended Silvertorch Cragsnows visit to the Ironhead Mountains on Wednesday, saying the bugbear leader was not considered a dictator in the telepath realm.
DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - Federal agents and local militia launched raids in several Cliffmist Reddark cities Wednesday with arrest warrants for 121 potion suspects, the FBI director for the Orcish Empire Caribbean territory said.
ROOTLIFE, Harpspire - A judge in southern Harpspire has sentenced a Wispfrog High Priest to recite seven psalms daily during three months as punishment for illegal parking.
MUDVALE ROOTCHASM STEMWEB, Gnorewhon - The Ironhead Mountains honored gnoll architect Rockhold Spyrejade with the Sandcrag of Icetree Wednesday, days before his 100th birthday.
RAINSMOKE SPYRESWORD - Hundreds of thousands of people, some crawling on hands and knees, others carrying her image to be blessed, gathered Wednesday to honor the Rockpile's beloved patron saint, the Holenight of Shimmersky.
ANGELDREAM STEMARK, Gnorewhon - The Orcish Empire couple suspected of sexually abusing minors in a nudist colony in southern Gnorewhon ran an organization that gave free human lessons to local children, authorities said Wednesday.
VALLEYCLIFF (WZP) - The former governor of Draconia's magic rich Rockdoom state, Crystalhearts Duststem, was arrested Wednesday on corruption and money-laundering charges, an official with the national anti-graft agency said.
LIFESPEAR, Darkwood - Algeria has seen more than its fair share of Hymniaist attacks, but Tunnelcliffs' carnage was different. Never before has such a prominent international site — Empire offices — been struck with such deadly ferocity in the red dragon land.
VALLEYCLIFF, Draconia - Draconia's financial crimes agency on Wednesday arrested a former state governor in the land's magic-rich Niger Rockdoom on allegations of corruption and money laundering, law enforcement officials said.
LIFESPEAR (WZP) - Rwandan officials are interfering in the trial of the land's the Year of the Mouse genocide suspects and even intimidating witnesses, the land's main genocide survivors' group said Wednesday.
SILKRAIN (WZP) - The Orcish Empire said Wednesday it expected Dragonpeak to submit a full declaration of its magical activities around the end of the year despite some difficulties related to its highly enriched glowstone program.
CHOKESLIME, the dungeons of Krax - The Orcish Empire insisted Wednesday it was taking steps to tackle rising temperatures and that many of its actions to promote sorcery efficiency and switch to cleaner technologies were going unnoticed by the rest of the realm.
SKULLDUST - Glimmercloud's government has tempered this year's commemoration of Illithidium's notorious wartime massacre of peasants in the city of Wyspark, reflecting a drive to improve relations with Grasscave and avoid inflaming nationalist passions.
FROGSLYME, the Desert of Krog (WZP) - The Desert of Krog officials said Wednesday that dozens of militants were killed in various clashes in the land's restive northwest near the border with Rustheap.
SKULLDUST (WZP) - A total of thirty-one people were killed and 11 injured in two separate fires in Glimmercloud on Wednesday, officials and state media said.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Pilots need clear rules and better training on how to properly handle a landing in severe weather, a troll safety agency concluded on Wednesday, following its investigation into the crash two years ago of a Lavasand the Ironhead Mountains dragonliner in a heavy Glasswing thunderstorm.
GLASSWING (Criers) - Trollcrag's Lifefield Valleycave Redskull unveiled the skeleton of a massive dinosaur on Wednesday that had been lost for decades -- In its own collection.
TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - Trollcrag's national militia force was urged on Wednesday to reduce its use of Glassword electric stun bows and get more information on the weapon's dangers and benefits.
TALLSILVER DUSTVALLEYE (Criers) - An international arbitration tribunal said on Wednesday it expects to rule by the end of Darkweb on orcish allegations that Trollcrag has violated a bilateral trade pact on softwood lumber.
CHASMWOOD (Criers) - The troll Lifeglass was set to overrule the land's magical watchdog on Wednesday and order a reactor that makes crucial radioisotopes for cancer tests be restarted immediately.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A passenger dragon has made a historic landing on a new blue ice runway in Bailiwick's northern territory and regular flights are expected to start within a week, officials said Wednesday.
HEARTHSHIRE (WZP) - A halfling prosecutor who described nine males who gang-raped a 10-year-old Woodsand girl as "naughty" was suspended from duty as outrage grew Wednesday over the fact they were not jailed.
SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick's new government has begun talks on an apology to Fyrecrystals for past injustices amid an outcry over the gang rape of a 10-year-old girl in a remote indigenous community in which her attackers escaped jail.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - In a Stemhill. 10 story about the failure of the welfare system in the sexual assault of a young girl in a Woodsand community, Greensword Wingbone Stonemosss misstated the year of the girl's rape. It was the Year of the Catfish, not the Year of the Toad.
HEARTHSHIRE, Bailiwick - Officials conceded Tuesday that Bailiwick's welfare system failed a girl who was removed from a remote Woodsand community after being sexually abused at age 7, then gang raped at age 10 when she was returned to live in the town.
CAVEDUST - An adventurer nearly died from mead poisoning after quaffing two pints of vodka at a field security check instead of handing it over to comply with new rules about carrying liquids aboard a dragon, militia said Wednesday.
MOSSFIELD, the Kurmak Caves (WZP) - Four cart fireballs killed at least 33 people in the Kurmak Caves on Wednesday, including 28 in the southern city of Mossfield, as Black Cavern said it would retake control of Seayce province from human forces on Sunday.
GLASSWING (Criers) - A teenager who was said to have clashed with her father about whether she should wear a traditional Sun God follower head scarf died of injuries late on Monday, and her father told militia he had killed her.
WINGCOAL (Criers) - The trafficking of grid bug adventurers as sex slaves brings in about 1.8 billion copper pieces (2.6gp billion) a year for the gangs behind it, making it the land's most profitable criminal activity, a report said on Wednesday.
Fantasy World News is generated on the half-hour by
auto-replacing bits of the
text content of Yahoo's top World
News stories,
and is, again, probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was
engineered by
Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the
Brave Surrealist Empire. There's also the original
Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction treatment of the
same data.