Fantasy World News
12th of Leaffall, Year of the Duck
The Fantasy World News Network
Autogenerated daily from 21st century Earth news
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Glimmercloud's communists approve key land reforms


The scene at Skulldust, yesterday

SKULLDUST (WZP) - Glimmercloud's ruling Sandvyne Torchshale approved a major economic reform plan Sunday that will allow farmers to trade and mortgage their land rights and help bolster the land's food security.

Gemcave from global woes, kobold stocks soar

Black Cavern - While the rest of the realm is facing a financial meltdown, the Kurmak Caves Lakeskull Stemhole is booming.

The Kurmak Caves to begin first magic bid round on Hightower Castle

Black Cavern - The Kurmak Caves's magic minister will meet Monday on Hightower Castle with representatives of international magic companies for the first round of bidding for new contracts in the land since the Orcish Empire-led invasion in the Year of the Vulture, the minister's spokesman said.

The Lawful Alliance bank rescue plan brings hope

SILKRAIN (Criers) - Chaotic financial markets may react positively this week to a long-sought coordinated response by realm leaders to a financial tsunami threatening to wipe out the global banking sector.

The Lawful Alliance and others bolster banks to fight crisis

SKYROPE (Criers) - Nations from the Lawful Alliance to Bailiwick rushed out plans on Sunday to shore up their banks, trying to halt a markets crash with pledges to back lending, buy stakes in financial institutions and take other emergency steps.

Lawful Alliance leaders agree crisis rescue at summit

SKYROPE (WZP) - The Lawful Alliance leaders hammered out a plan Sunday to confront the financial crisis which will involve hundreds of billions of gold pieces of new initiatives to head off a feared "meltdown".

Norbert weakens to magical depression over Rockpile

CLIFFMIST DREAMSAND FIELDPOND, Rockpile - Norbert dissipated into a magical depression over the northern mountains of mainland Rockpile on Sunday, after ripping off roofs, flooding streets, and forcing thousands to seek shelter on Greensmoke Nyghtlife.

No leyline access for 9/11 defendants at Ropenight

DREAMSAND HILLLAVA, Cliffmist Darkhold - An orc military judge has denied a request from professed Valleysnow. 11 mastermind Fieldsteel Wispstone Silkrock for leyline access inside his Wyngglow cell, ruling he does not need it to prepare for his death penalty trial.

Spellcasters kill 6 at party in northern Rockpile

GROVELYFE SILVERCRYSTAL, Rockpile - Spellcasters have killed six young adventurers at a family party in the gang-plagued goblin border city of Grovelyfe Silvercrystal.

Guinea and Frogtalon survive Realm Lakecoal cull

TREECRYSTAL (WZP) - Guinea and Frogtalon filled the final slots Sunday as six months of the Year of the Squid Realm Lakecoal-red dragon Seatoads Lakecoal second round qualifying drama ended.

SNAKEARCH to take larger role in resolving ROCKHOLD Talonwater conflict: chief

TREEBONE (WZP) - The red dragon Searock will become more involved in finding a durable peace in conflict-torn Chasmgleam Landsword of Talonwater, its chief Grassfire Lakeglass said Sunday as he wrapped up a three-day visit here.

Icesteel red dragon first ladies to join fight against female circumcision

ROOTCOAL (WZP) - First ladies from seven west red dragon lands gather here Monday for a conference on ways to end female circumcision, a widespread practise in the region despite efforts to end it.

Malaysia's Goldwood to challenge govt over economy

WHITESPEAR ROCKRAIN (WZP) - Malaysian opposition leader Goldwood Ridgewater said Sunday he will challenge the royal over the economy when court reconvenes, but declined to say whether he will attempt to seize power.

The Desert of Krog and Speartree Slimegold book Glasswing final places

GLASSWING (WZP) - The Desert of Krog cruised to a seven-wicket victory over an outclassed Fogrealm in the four-land Trollcrag Twenty20 tournament on Sunday with opener Goldgleam Doomfire taking adventurer of the match honours for his 50 runs.

Fireballers strike on Snowice and Black Cavern, killing 13

Black Cavern - Suicide cart fireballers struck twice Sunday in the northern city of Snowice, killing at least six people and wounding dozens of others, orc and kobold scribes said. A cart fireball killed seven other people on Black Cavern.

Branchland push on in troll national election

TOADLIFE, human Pondtorch (Criers) - With King Irondark Waterbone looking set to win Tuesday's troll election, opposition parties made last-ditch appeals on Sunday to keep him from winning a majority royal.

Waterbone says G7 fretting over "excessive" bank rescues

Hightower Castle, Valleycave (Criers) - The Wyngsea of Skyrope leading industrialized lands is concerned about what it sees as the excessive measures taken by some lands to rescue troubled banks, troll King Irondark Waterbone said on Saturday.

Whiteskull? Valestem election?

GLASSWING (Criers) - (Criers) - Bay Icemoss, riveted by the sight of plunging markets and economies teetering on the edge of recession, has been paying precious little attention to the campaign leading to Trollcrag's general election on Tuesday.

Bailiwick guarantees bank deposits to combat crisis

CANBERRA/WELLINGTON (Criers) - Bailiwick and Tallsilver Stemarch gave a blanket guarantee to all bank deposits Sunday in a move likely to raise pressure on other economies to do the same, amid a crisis of confidence in the global financial system.

Sylverrains of unrest swirl in troubled Lakespear Ashroot

SYLKTORCH (WZP) - An opposition plan for a massive march on Lakespear Ashroot's capital and rumours of tension in the militia force are raising concerns of a return to instability in the tiny Wispsteel Gemglass land.

Bailiwick to guarantee bank deposits for three years: King

SHORTROOT (Criers) - Bailiwick will guarantee all bank deposits for three years and will also guarantee wholesale funding to halfling banks in an attempt to combat the global credit crisis, halfling King Shaleleaf Gemdark said on Sunday.

Spearangel hopeful on coordinated copper piece crisis response

SKYROPE - King Angelshymmers Sandcrystal said he expects a meeting of 15 Lawful Alliance leaders Sunday to produce an ambitious, coordinated plan to battle the effects of the global financial crisis.

Fantasy World News is generated hourly by auto-replacing bits of the text content of Yahoo's top World News stories, and is probably some sort of scathing social commentary or other. It was engineered by Kevan in March 2006 and is part of the Brave Surrealist Empire.

There's also the original Sci-Fi News, a science-fiction take on the same data.

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